How to Become a Goddess
by jdho2
Summary: Stephanie Plum spent her whole life believing that she was one of the few in the world who didn't have a romantic soulmate, and letting society tell her that she was less because of it. But when meddling teammates put an Avenger in her path, she discovers that she may have been wrong all along. Fate had different plans for her. Bigger plans.
1. Prologue

**A/N:** Okay, here we go again, my friends! So, this fic is going to take place in MCU after Age of Ultron, but with some non-canon modifications. Because AoU has been available to rent for so long now, I'm just going to flat out list the changes to AoU here, but if you haven't seen it and are worried about spoilers, jump to the next paragraph! First of all, I have Laura Barton as Clint's sister once again. I'm sure she's a lovely lady, but just no. Second, Pietro Maximoff was revived due to super awesome superhero body-ness. Okay? Okay. #PietroMaximoffLives! Third, Natasha and Bruce?! HELL NO! I will go down _fighting_ that ship! Both deserve happiness, but not together in the way the movie handled it. Never that. (Bruce is still in hiding because he feels bad about destroying Johannesburg and his role in creating Ultron at the start of this fic though.)

Next order of business, this is a soulmate AU story. Because it takes place on Midgard (aka, Earth), I'll explain that part of how soulmates work briefly here (it is also talked about in more detail in Chapter 2). A person is born with his or her soulmate's words somewhere on his or her body, regardless of whether or not the soulmate has been born. Fate is all knowing like that. If the words are written in black, it is a romantic match; if the words are written in grey, it is a platonic match. People can be born with anywhere from zero to multiple soulmarks of each type. It is only on extremely rare occasions that people can get soulmarks later in life. Of course, not everyone is Midgardian, and when you have other advanced, biologically compatible life forms involved, things may get a little bit… weird!

Final note. My past stories have, in the past, featured a rotating selection of POVs. This story will provide background information in Clint's POV in the Prologue (which is Chapter 1). After that is done, Steph is taking over this show, and the rest of the story is going to be in Steph's POV. So please, don't even bother to ask for a new POV, though feel free to tell me how you feel about the matter! I'm always open to having those types of conversations, that was just where I felt I needed to go in order to get this story written!

 **Chapter 01 - Prologue**

 _ **Clint's POV**_

After the events of Ultron, I dragged myself back to my sister and the family farm to lick my wounds, both physical and emotional. Shortly after Laura had given birth to my newest nephew, and named him after my savior, Pietro, I opened the front door one day to find Wanda standing there, clearly unsure of whether or not she should knock.

"Wanda," I croaked out. Unwilling to meet the eyes of someone whose twin's death was on my hands. I'd had many others to my credit before, but Pietro sat particularly badly with me. Like a permanent clog in my throat that nothing I drank could make go away. And if it hadn't been for having to help my sister with her brood, I probably would have put Tony Stark to shame trying.

"You have been hiding needlessly."

"Your brother was just a kid, and I… he shouldn't… I never wanted…" I squared my shoulders and looked her in the eyes. "Wanda, I'm so so-"

"Do not apologize. If you hadn't run away, you would know there was no need for it. I've been trying to decide how best to say this, but perhaps it is best if I just show you. I doubt you will believe me otherwise."

Before I could ask what she was talking about, she made a gesture with her hand. In a whirl of blue, Pietro appeared before me, and I stared in disbelief. "What?" I asked, knowing my mouth was stuck gaping in surprise.

"Dr. Cho examined him when we brought his body back to the base," Wanda said. "It seems his heartbeat had slowed to near-zero, but once she removed the bullets and put him in the cradle, she was able to fully revive him."

"Bet you didn't see that coming!" Pietro teased, and that was the moment I knew it was real.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I gasped out, feeling a smile slowly start to show on my face.

"I was angry at you," Wanda said. "And Pietro was still healing, so he could not make the trip himself."

"I asked her not to keep this from you," Pietro clarified. "But she would not spare you, and I was in a wheelchair and couldn't drive myself."

Gulping, I looked at Wanda once more with pleading in my eyes. "I never wanted him to take those bullets for me."

To my surprise, Wanda stepped forward and smacked me hard across the face. "I would not have been angry with you even if he had died that day. It was Pietro's choice to make. He and I have had words. That's not why I'm angry at you. You abandoned your soulmate. The team you helped her and the Captain build was torn to shreds, everyone was emotionally scarred, especially those I hexed. And you LEFT her all alone!"

"She was better off without me," I argued. "Everyone who cares about me dies eventually. Even those who barely know me."

I gestured at Pietro and in a blur he knocked me on my back with a hard punch, "I _almost_ died saving you, and you repay me by blaming me for abandoning your soulmate?"

"What do you want from me now?" I asked.

"The time has come for you to return," Wanda told me. "Natasha needs you. Pietro and I need you. The team needs you. The world needs you."

Behind me I heard my sister's soft but resolved voice, "they're right. I was selfish to let you stay this long instead of pushing you back." There was a thunking noise, and I turned to see her placing my large kit bag on the ground with my bow and quiver full of arrows next to it. "I needed you to be here for when Nathan was born, but you need to go back and make things right with Natasha and the team."

I stared resolutely into her eyes, trying to determine if she really would be okay. With a roll of her eyes, she told me, "you're done with all the renovations to this place, and no, you're not touching the dining room. When you're not here, the neighbors help out. And you know there's plenty of money. It's been almost a year since _he_ died, and we all have to start going back to our regular lives. The kids and I will be fine, possibly even better once we do."

Almost a year and she still couldn't say her deceased soulmate's name, but I knew by now that she would push on, determined to make a good life for her kids. My Laura wouldn't become one of those who lost their soulmate and ceased to exist. Knowing that gave me the strength to accept what I needed to do without any more of a fight.

"I'll come visit," I told Laura gruffly, pulling her into a hug. "And if you need anything, call."

"If I need anything, I'll call Natasha," Laura told me through a teary laugh. "You're horrible about answering your phone and returning messages. Plus, that way you have to fix things with her."

With that final shot, Laura called the kids and I said my goodbyes before walking back to the self-flying jet with the twins. When I felt it take off, I sighed and closed my eyes, letting my head flop against the back of the seat.

"How mad is she?" I asked.

"She doesn't seem mad at all," Pietro told me.

"Fuck," I replied.

Sure enough, when the jet ramp lowered, Natasha was standing outside waiting. Her face was the epitome of passive and cold and her arms were across her chest as I approached.

"Nat," I said gruffly.

"Clinton Francis," she retorted.

"Hell, I missed you too," I told her, pulling her rigid body into mine even as she tried to fight it. Whispering to her but not caring who might overhear I said, "I love you. I'm sorry I left."

"What did I tell you after Budapest?" she asked me.

I groaned, but responded to the question with resignation. "That I'd used up a lifetime of fuckups doing what I did, but because I lived you'd give me one more. If I'd died, you would have killed me."

"And now you've used it only four years later. Guess you're going to have to be very careful for the rest of your life."

"Yes, ma'am," I replied, sighing in relief when I saw the twitch of a smile at that response. "I wouldn't dream of fucking up again."

"Of course not," Natasha said. "If you dreamed of it, you'd figure out ways to avoid it. But we both know that anything that might turn out to be forethought is not happening. It's a good thing you're pretty."

"I thought that was my line," I teased dropping back into the familiar banter when I could feel her pain starting to ease through our bond. As she turned, I grabbed onto her hand and spun her back around to deliver a deep kiss. When I pulled back, I whispered, "I owe you a favor."

"Ten favors," Natasha countered.

"Your favors are never easy!" I whined.

"Well you should have thought of that before you did something so stupid," she told me.

"Fine," I grumbled. As we approached our room, I asked, "what's the status here?"

Natasha didn't reply right away, waiting instead until she had our door shut behind us. When I moved in to try to kiss her, and possibly talk her into doing more to refresh our bond, she pulled back after just a few moments. "Hold that thought, I need to call in the first favor now. It's past due, really, but I think you're the only one who can accomplish it."

Biting back a sound of disappointment, I nodded and slipped into work mode. "What is it?"

"It's Thor," she informed me.

"He's back on planet?" I asked.

After a brief nod, Natasha began explaining the situation to me.

It seemed that Thor had come back still deeply disturbed by what he'd seen not only when Wanda messed with his head, but when he'd gone to the Water of Sights for what sounded like a vision quest of some sort. He'd left immediately after Ultron to go back to Asgard then other realms and try to determine where all of the Infinity Stones were, how to destroy them, and who was trying to collect them all.

Unfortunately he hadn't been able to gather that much intelligence on the matter and was left with nothing more to do than wait, ever watching for a sign of the stones that had yet to be recovered, or those that he knew the location of being used improperly. Although he wouldn't say which he knew of other than the stone Vision used, and where they were, he claimed that Midgard was the most vulnerable realm to attack and had vowed to protect it.

Upon his return, he had discovered that his girlfriend, Jane, was no longer his girlfriend. Jane, it seemed, had been spontaneously given a soulmark after a lifetime without one and immediately met the man. Natasha had thoroughly vetted the scientist, and it seemed that nothing malicious was in play. I knew of only a handful of people this had happened to. As Jane had almost immediately met the man at a conference after receiving the mark, Thor hadn't stood a chance.

In truth, Jane had handled the situation better than anyone else I'd ever heard of in that situation. Thor had been gone for four more months after Jane had found her soulmate, and during that time she'd quietly seen the man and begun their relationship, but she hadn't completed the bond until after Thor had returned and she had been able to speak to him. All in all, she was a classy lady, and there were no bad feelings. But Thor was still sad, as he was lonely and still hadn't met his own soulmate after more than a thousand years.

As Thor often reminded me of a golden retriever puppy, a sad Thor just made everyone else depressed too, much like a sad puppy would. Not to mention that he was prone to standing on the roof and sulking. And when Thor sulked regularly, Upstate New York experienced unusually heavy amounts of precipitation and lightning.

After a brainstorming session with Natasha on how to handle the situation, a call to a buddy of mine who owed me a favor, and a check-in with Steve to make sure there were no missions on the horizon we couldn't complete without Thor, I'd gone up to the roof of the facility to find the demigod. I approached slowly and quietly, but was unsurprised when the Asgardian began speaking when I was still several yards away.

"Barton," he said, turning to offer me a smile and a firm, forearm grasp hand-shake. We'd yet to break him of that habit in favor of a regular handshake, but at least he'd stopped referring to everyone as "Lord" or "Lady."

"Thor," I responded. "It's good to see you again; I'm sorry it has been so long."

"You had much to handle after our battles, and I trust you will not treat Natasha so again."

I smiled a little imagining Natasha's reaction if she heard that someone was trying to protect her in such a brotherly manner, and just nodded my head. "She told me about the stones."

Thor went through a long explanation of the situation that boiled down to exactly what Natasha had told me, but I let him wind back down before I spoke again. "So there's nothing you can do until something happens. Which could be tomorrow or it could be years down the road, correct?"

"You speak wisely," Thor answered. "I find the waiting to be difficult. I am a warrior, and patience has never been my strong suit."

"I hear you, Buddy," I said. "Sounds like you're getting a little bit better at speaking like a genuine Midgardian. Been studying that to pass the time?"

Thor cracked a real smile and said with a joking air of haughtiness, "of course not, you Midgardians are simple. It is easy to pass as one of your kind if I so choose."

Perfect. That was exactly the opening I had been hoping for, so I laughed and raised an eyebrow as I asked. "Wanna bet?"

"A wager?" Thor asked, eyes lighting up and hands rubbing together in anticipation. "Tell me what you challenge you would bring upon the Son of Odin!"

"If you win, I will give you a full year's supply of as many Pop-Tarts in as many flavors as you want. Natasha will even help me bring back one discontinued flavor that you miss, if you so choose." Grinning at him, I added, "And if I win, I want a barrel of your thousand year old alcohol."

"That should not be drunk by mere mortals," Thor cautioned. I kept my face blank until Thor nodded his head in agreement. "And the stakes?"

"I think you need to get away from here for a little while, try to have some fun. And I think you need to work on your undercover work after what Dr. Selvig told me about you trying to go unnoticed at his university. You look young. It shouldn't have been difficult."

"Maybe not, but I had other matters on my mind," Thor protested.

"I bet you can't go a month living among Midgardians without blowing your cover," I threw down the gauntlet and watched as amusement reached Thor's eyes.

"And where and how do you suggest I do that?"

"Today is Halloween, October 31st. Tomorrow is November 1st. Natasha and I have created a cover identity for you- one I think you'll recognize- and I have spoken to a friend who owns a security firm. He knows your real identity, and by backing up your cover story, he will effectively keep the others from questioning you too much. I'm making it easy for you."

"The others?" he asked warily.

"Yes, you will be given a modest apartment in his building, and you will work as one of his employees providing private security. You'll blend right in with all the muscles and your ability to fight, but you should be careful not to show your strength as that'll be a dead giveaway. Natasha also recommends you cut your hair," I snorted out a laugh when Thor looked startled and ran his hands through his long locks momentarily before nodding his head decisively.

"That is hardly the most difficult disguise I've ever used," he said. "At least I am not meant to pass as a maiden."

"Come again?" I asked temporarily distracted by how anyone could ever mistake Thor for a woman.

He just waved a big hand and said, "it feels as though it was a lifetime ago, and at the very least is a story for another time."

I made a mental note to ask about it later and said, "Natasha moved some of your money over to a bank account for your new identity, and Ranger, that's my buddy, pays well. Though Natasha tells me you hardly need it. You shouldn't have any difficulty on that front. So you have a place to live, a job, and an ally. Think you can keep your identity a secret until December 1st?"

"But of course," Thor hastily replied. "However, if we are called into battle or I am needed on Asgard or because of one of the Stones-"

I cut him off to provide what I thought the fair compromise was, "if you just need to check in or provide a brief counsel, you keep your cover. If there needs to be a battle, or the universe is ending, the bet is null."

Thor seemed to think on it for a moment before offering me a hand, "I shall take that wager, my friend. Now, let me speak to Natasha about my hair."

"Oh, and Thor," I said as he started to walk away. "When you meet the one they call 'Bomber,' be very, very careful."

 **A/N:** Sorry to all you long-hair fans, but I'm not *really* one, so for the time being, Thor has super sexy Chris Hemsworth short hair. #sorrynotsorry In other news, for the time being, I'm just going to update this story once a week. I've been trying to get the entire thing written before I started posting, but I've hit a brick wall. I've always been very motivated by reviews/comments, and I've got enough ready to last more than a couple months at once a week posting. So that's where we'll start, and when I finish it, I'll increase the posting frequency for you all. Last, I have to give a shoutout to LadyWinterlight, she had a wonderful idea in one of her soulmate fics that as soon as I read, I had to use in a Steph/Thor fic. More on that starting in Chapter 4.


	2. The New Guy

**Chapter 02 - The New Guy**

My name was Stephanie Plum, and my most recent batch of problems started when Grandma Mazur, my mom's mom, started catfishing men on online dating websites.

Now, elderly woman tricking young men on dating sites into thinking she was a young woman sounds like the beginning of a funny story, and I would agree if she hadn't done it for months using _my_ picture before I figured it out.

Under normal circumstances, I was a bit of a stalker magnet. Add in Grandma Mazur telling these men whatever they wanted to hear and informing them all I was unmarked, well…

See, it worked like this. The majority of the people in the world had soulmarks, which come in two varieties. Both types are the first words your soulmate speaks to you. If the words are written in grey, then the match is platonic- basically Fate is guaranteeing that you and a platonic match are going to be best of friends. It was common to have multiple of these marks.

If the words are in black, then the match is meant to be romantic. Romantic soulmates were basically the person or people who Fate decided you were most compatible with in every way. You should get along, find each other attractive, and, generally speaking, be _extremely_ sexually compatible right down to your craziest kink if you had any.

Some people had multiple romantic soulmates. And comparatively few didn't have any. The lack of a romantic soulmate was rare and those who fit in the category were labeled "Blank" by society.

Personally, I thought this was a misnomer. It was true, I didn't have any words in black on my body, but I did have multiple grey sets- more than most, actually. So it wasn't like I was completely blank.

The general opinion of people like me wasn't particularly flattering. We were believed to have something wrong with us that made us unmatchable. If you asked my mom, she would happily give you a list of reasons at the top of which was my unwillingness to conform. I couldn't cook, I was hopeless at keeping house, and I wouldn't listen worth a damn.

And a lot of assholes believed that anyone without a black soulmark was desperately searching for someone to spend their life with, and willing to settle for anyone, even someone who treated them badly. Often that meant that the type of people who couldn't make their own romantic soulmates happy in a relationship with them, like my ex-boyfriend Morelli or my ex-husband Dickie, tried to take advantage in any way they could of the Blanks of the world.

With Dickie, it had been taking advantage of a young woman and sweeping her off her feet in a whirlwind of what turned out to be lies. And when it came to my relationship with Morelli, well, he'd chosen to emotionally beat me down and tell me I was worthless and lucky to have him until I actually started to believe him.

Of course, there was some truth to the "Blanks are desperate" theory because from what I'd seen, the pickings were slim. I knew I spent hours at a time scouring the Internet for stories about people getting their soulmarks late in life, and what might cause that. Any sappy Lifetime movie made where a Blank turned out to have a match after all, I'd watched. I'd even shaved my head once as a child and had my best friend Mary Lou examine every inch of my scalp and body to make sure words weren't just hidden somewhere I'd yet to find them.

Other than my two asshole exes, the only real romantic interest I'd had was with Ranger, someone who had a romantic soulmate match that was strong as a teen. Sadly, she'd died suddenly in a car accident in high school. Ranger had gotten lost in a dark spiral, only getting out of it because he'd chosen to enlist in the Army. In the end, he'd been saved, but he was really only a shell of a man.

As much as I had wanted to be the woman to snap him out of it, I'd eventually realized I couldn't. Ranger told me that when they'd met, their souls had merged into one, and when she'd died, she'd taken all of it with her. So, in the end, I'd settled into the role of trusted confidant and friend.

Of course, it went both ways. And for his part, Ranger was very protective of me. Which is why, at that moment, I was standing a safe distance back from a smoldering car with Ranger's jacket tucked around me arguing about excessive security measures.

You see, one of Grandma Mazur's catfish victims had taken an unhealthy interest in me and didn't take my rejection well. At that point he'd gone from _infatuated_ stalker to _murderous_ stalker.

"Ranger," I pleaded. "That's too much. I can't make you bleed money again like that. If you put me in a safe house with a guard, you have to pay that place's extra upkeep when people are in it, and you have to pay whoever is guarding me!"

"Babe," Ranger's tone was one of a man desperately trying to maintain his zen. "I just hired on a new probationary employee, and he moved into the only open apartment I had left a week ago. I don't have anywhere to put you, and you don't want to stay with me."

"I just don't think it's a good idea," I reiterated, and we both knew it was because I'd jump him. But when I'd finally accepted that I wasn't going to be in a relationship with Ranger, I'd decided that sex wasn't a good idea to have between us anymore. Shifting my thoughts away from that before Bad Stephanie could place her vote in favor of an orgasm, I added. "And oooooh, new Merry Man?"

"Why do you continue to call my employees that when you know it bothers them? No self preservation," Ranger mused without heat. He knew his men loved me. "And yes, his name is Donald Blake, and I'm sure you'll meet him at some point. That isn't important now. What _is_ important is that you realize that I can't take care of you and this problem efficiently if I'm also worried about you winding up dead or kidnapped!"

I stared at Ranger for a few minutes, and I knew the look on his face. I wasn't going to get out of this, and we were quickly approaching the point where he was going to just haul me into the safe house in cuffs and authorize his employees to stun gun me if I tried to leave.

I knew it was entirely probable I had been stun gunned more times than a person _should_ , so I was willing to try to play nice and avoid a repeat. With a roll of my eyes I said, "Okay, but I'm still working. And I'm going to need to borrow some wheels."

"You'll be taking my men with you while you work, so they can drive. If you don't try to ditch them, I'll give you a car once this is under control and it's safe for you to be on your own again," Ranger countered.

"Relatively safe," I clarified.

The truth was that I was a bond enforcement agent (BEA), or bounty hunter. In a nutshell, my job was to bring in people who had gotten my bail bondsman cousin, Vinnie, to bail them out of jail and then failed to show up for their court date. If I didn't find them, Vinnie forfeited the money he'd put up as bail on their behalf to the courts. But if I did find the skip, as we called the people who skipped jail, I got a percentage of the bond as payment.

As you probably guessed, these people usually didn't want to go to jail. And that made my job kind of dangerous, especially for a 5' 7", 130 pound woman with only a minimal amount of training (though I'd started letting Ranger and his men work on it with me lately). Ranger's men, however, were usually heavy on the muscle, highly skilled, and intimidating as all get out.

So part of me was happy to have guaranteed backup for a while, even if I did feel guilty about the cost. The fact that it came at the price of my personal freedom for a few days stung, but hey, at least I'd have the opportunity to enjoy some new eye candy to dull the pain.

"He's Blank too," Ranger spoke, dragging me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I asked, having no idea what he was talking about.

"The new guy, Donnie. Everyone is required to have a full physical, and Bobby's report says he bears no soulmarks."

"Huh," I said. Blanks were so rare that I'd never actually met another before. And did Ranger mean that he just didn't have a romantic match like me? Or-

"Completely blank. Not a single smudge of grey or black on him," he confirmed.

"Stop reading my mind," I retorted without any real heat behind it.

"Babe," Ranger said with a wide grin that told me I'd amused him again. Probably it was the fact that I'd told him to do something. No one told Ranger what to do.

"Why are you telling me that? Isn't it confidential?"

Ranger kept his face blank and didn't say anything, but when I refused to move the conversation along he finally answered. "He seems like a good guy," he told me with a shrug. "And you seem lonely. You've never dated someone who was also without a romantic match, and I thought you might be interested in knowing this was someone on even footing with you."

I nodded my head at that, knowing that Ranger had a point. Still, I couldn't help but stubbornly add, "doesn't mean we'll get along. After all, it's not like Fate thought we'd be a good match in the first place."

Ranger studied me before taking a carefully neutral tone as he said, "there are many theories for why some people are blank. But my favorite is that there are some people who are too kind and caring for Fate to choose who to match them with. People who accept everyone they meet with their whole heart."

Well that was almost unbearably sweet, and I didn't want to cry, so I rolled my eyes and started walking toward Ranger's idling car. He reached over as I passed him and threw an arm around my shoulder, pulling my head down so he could give me a noogie. "Ranger!" I whined when I heard all the men laughing over his earpiece, including one deep laugh separate from the others and completely new to me. "You didn't tell me they were listening."

"Babe."

Right. That "Babe" meant that when I was under attack, he was always in connection with the Control Room back at the headquarters of his security company, Rangeman. Silly me.

I heard more snickers over the radio and realized I'd said that bit out loud rather than thinking it, so I stuck out my tongue and my middle finger, waving the latter around in all directions to make sure any who were watching it saw.

"Babe," Ranger said again. This time I'd amused him.

Of course, Ranger being Ranger waited until I was at the safe house, surrounded by some of my favorite Merry Men to lay out all his convincing arguments for why I needed to stay inside only for at least that first weekend.

After a heated round of debate, Ranger felt secure enough in getting his way to leave, and I turned on Cal.

"Can't I at least get the new guy?" I whined.

Hal feigned being shot in the heart and Cal said, "are we not enough for you anymore, Bomber?"

"You guys are great," I rushed to reassure them. "But I already know you. I've sat on stake outs with you. There aren't a lot of conversations we haven't had despite your best efforts to ignore me! A new person would be more interesting!"

"Ranger's not going to stick the new guy on Bomber Duty when he's barely been with us a week! It's not safe!" Hal added.

"I'm sure he's good at the job if Ranger hired him," I argued petulantly. "I'm sure he could keep me safe."

"It's not _your_ safety we're worried about," Cal muttered and just gave me a look when I huffed out an annoyed breath.

He had a point, Ranger's men had a habit of getting hurt when they were guarding me, but it was almost never my fault.

"Alright," I rolled my eyes. "Then tell me about him. Is he cute?"

"Steph," Cal ground out in annoyance.

"That's not a 'no'," I mused. "In fact, I think there might have been a tinge of jealously. He's fucking hot isn't he?"

Cal and Hal looked at each other, mumbled something, but otherwise didn't say anything.

Crowing happily I said, "he is!"

I that moment I heard a deep rumbling noise on their earpieces that caused both to wince from the volume. I flushed red and Hal laughed saying, "he's also on perimeter security at the moment."

I very maturely didn't point out that his use of the word "also" verified that I was right and the man in question was hot. Very hot I'd guess based on their facial expressions when I asked and the pull I'd felt just overhearing his laugh indirectly.

We didn't say anything else for what felt like days but was probably more like half an hour after that, just moved on to playing poker by rote before I finally broke once more. "See! This is what I'm talking about! You have nothing to say to me!"

"We just saw you a few days ago!" Hal retorted defensively.

"That's my point!" I cried out. "I don't care if he's listening. Tell me about him or I'm going to rip my hair out from boredom! Ranger will be so mad at you if I go crazy already."

Before he could say anything, Cal's phone rang. He looked at the display, surprised, then exchanged a few quick, quiet words. When he was done, he sighed, slid his phone onto the table, and hit the button to put it on speakerphone.

"Hello?" I asked hesitantly.

"Hello, Little Firecracker," a voice boomed out at me.

"Let me stop you right there, the only one I let call me 'Little' anything is Tank, and that's because he's huge. Compared to him I am tiny. So the only way you can call me that…" I trailed off as Cal and Hal were nodding emphatically and making gestures to show having huge muscles. Particularly in their arms. "On second thought, I'm being informed of that accuracy, so carry on."

Hal slid his phone onto the table and I gaped at the man in the photo in front of me. Dude was built like a god. Maybe I should call him Zeus.

A pained noise came across the line, and I muttered an apology because I hadn't meant to say that out loud. More laughter accompanied my words, and I had to bite back a groan at the sound of his voice when he spoke again, "I am Donald, and you may ask whatever you desire to know of me. Or if you run out of questions, I am told I am an excellent story teller."

"Hmmm," I thought for a moment. "Where did you live and what did you do before you moved to Trenton?"

"I was a w- soldier," I ignored the awkward fumble, figuring he was working while talking to me, and maybe he'd seen something interesting. "And I lived in several places, but most recently I was in Upstate New York."

"Good call moving here before winter really set in," I commented. "It'll still snow here, but nothing like Upstate! And soldier makes sense. I assume that's where you met Ranger or whoever hooked you up with the job."

"My friend, Clinton, knows Ranger. I needed a change of scene, so Clint called in a favor on my behalf."

As far as I knew, Ranger could count on one hand the number of people whom he owed a favor. And Ranger took favors very seriously, so this "Clint" must have been heck of a friend to call in a doozy of a favor like that on Donald's behalf.

"He is a most honorable friend," Donald told me seriously. "And I am indebted to him now in exchange."

I thought about that for a moment, looking at the picture in front of me. Donald looked like a very capable man, so maybe Clint had gotten a good deal out of that. There was a pause in the conversation as Donald and Ram provided status updates from their positions before Cal signaled to me that I could talk once more.

"So I hear you're Blank. So am I. Any girlfriend or kids hanging around?" I asked before I actually engaged my brain and even thought about filtering my thoughts. I looked at Hal in wide eyed panic, and he just made a show of stifling his laugh. I picked up a pillow from the couch and started to smother myself with it as the silence stretched on.

Before my stupid brain could come up with anything to say to fix the situation, Donald spoke carefully. "I do not bear the words of any soulmates on my skin." He took a deep breath then added, "and there is no one special. There was a woman, Jane, who I thought myself content with. She was blank, however, I had to go away for several months. When I returned, she had gained a soulmark and met the man- a fellow scientist. She's with him now."

"I'm sorry," I murmured. "I didn't mean to ask that, and that sucks."

"It does." He replied before reassuring me, "and I would not have answered if I did not wish to do so. Though we have yet to properly meet, I find you intriguing."

He'd paused before choosing the word "intriguing" and it made me wonder if he was feeling the same bizarre magnetism I was just from exchanging words over the phone. Honestly, I couldn't decide if I thought it was more or less strange if he did.

Trying to steer my thoughts and the conversation onto less dangerous territory, I asked a mindless question. When he answered and followed up with one of his own, I didn't hesitate before providing a response. We carried on for what the amused looks on Cal and Hal's faces told me was quite a long time before Donald moved onto storytelling.

Apparently in his free time, Donald was a mythological history buff. I honestly wasn't sure if the stories he told about the Norse gods were official myths or not, but many of them were hilarious. Before I could ask for another, Hal and Cal went completely tense.

Cal reached over, disconnected the call, and took his phone back. Hal also grabbed his with the picture on it up and clipped it to his belt. While there was calm, terse speculation about who and how, the men started pushing me further back into the fourth story safe house apartment.

Eventually reaching the outside wall of the master bedroom, Cal reached over to the window and pulled it open. Outside I saw one of my least favorite sights, a fire escape, and barely contained my sigh in response.

"He's here," Cal whispered. "He must have followed us from the crime scene somehow. Ram estimates he'll be to the door in 30 seconds and he doesn't have a shot. That's on the other side of the building, so you're going down this. Backup is two minutes out, and Donald will cover you in the meantime."

"Try not to knock him out," Hal added.

When Cal snuck in a, "or let him knock you up," under his breath, I gave them both the finger as I made my way outside the window. Cal shut the glass behind me with a muttered "be careful," and I took a second to watch them pull their guns and move back into the apartment before turning back to the metal staircase in front of me.

I had no idea when it had started raining, but it made my descent much more precarious. As I reached the third floor landing, I slipped, grabbing onto the railing as I slammed into it. Unfortunately, the thing was old and rusty because it snapped as my weight hit it, and I found myself dangling off the side of the fire escape, arms wrapped around wet metal the only thing keeping me from making a pancake impression on the ground below.

The storm picked up, and I heard a shout below. As soon as my eyes met Donald's below me, I felt as though some unseen force was pulling me off that ledge. He was standing in the rain with one arm stretched straight out to his side, which was odd. The look on his face, however, was the most out of place element.

There I was, dangling precariously, trying not to die, and he looked... happy. And excited. Like a small child on Christmas. I could hear the sound of cars coming in fast, and Ranger emerged from the rain at a run, yelling something at Donald who continued to stare at me in awe for a moment.

Then I thought Ranger was going to shoot him when Donald yelled up at me, "Stephanie, let go!"

 **A/N:** Bahahahaha! Sorry. I don't do that to you very often though! :)


	3. Leap of Faith

**Chapter 03 - Leap of Faith**

Below me, Donald was continuing to bellow at me to let go of the slick, metal railing. Ranger was, in turn, yelling at Donald, and I could almost swear he was calling Donald by some other name. Ranger finally gave up and ran to the bottom of the fire escape, but my eyes returned to meet Donald's again.

As our gazes locked, the pull intensified even more, and I realized it wasn't gravity trying to pull me down to the ground directly below. No, it was something more. Something beautiful. And it was pulling me toward Donald. At that point, his eyes were practically begging me to obey, and I didn't know what it was but something inside me demanded that I listen. Before I could fully think it through, my right hand released its grip.

"Great, Stephanie. You definitely can't hold on long with just your left hand. Why'd you do that? Because some hot guy told you to?" I muttered to myself. Feeling the power drawing me once more, I decided I'd pretty much committed at that point and let go with a, "well, here goes nothing."

I opened my mouth to scream, but quickly realized that I wasn't falling. Instead, I was slowly floating toward Donald whose grin had only widened. His arm was still extended out to the side, and when I was about ten feet away, there was an intense flash of light. I was aware of him catching something, but I couldn't see through the blinding white, surprisingly feeling no fear as it enveloped me. When I reached him, I felt myself shoved by the invisible force until my arms came up around his neck and my entire body was flush against his.

There was a dull, metallic thunk of something hitting the ground near me, and his arms banded around my waist. They would have been holding me up if not for the fact that I was _floating_.

Then I came to several realizations all at once. First, I couldn't really move. I started by trying to unclasp my arms from around his neck because, kind of awkward having just met, but I couldn't complete the action. Further experimentation to try to pull myself away made me realize I couldn't move anything except my head.

Second, while it was still raining in the vicinity, there was a ring around Donald and I of not rain.

Third, and it probably should have been first, but I was in a bit of a shock, Donald was no longer in his Rangeman uniform. In fact, he was wearing armor. Like, full body armor and a red cape. I shifted my head as best I could and realized that, yep, the getup went all the way down his body. Even his legs had whatever that weird shin armor was. And resting right next to his feet was…

Fourth.

"Holy Hell! Your name isn't Donald! You're Thor!" I blurted out. "I've seen you on the news with the Avengers! And that whole thing in London! Oh my God, is Trenton about to get overrun by aliens?!"

"I am Thor Odinson," Thor agreed, still happily holding me. "And there is no imminent danger to Trenton that I am aware of, otherworldly or not, besides the immediate threat to your own safety."

"Oh," I breathed out. "Do you know what's happening to me right now? Because I don't know about you, but I can't move."

Thor startled before replying, "my apologies. I forgot for a moment that this is not how things work for Midgardians."

"Who or what is a Midgardian?"

"The people who live on the realm of Midgard, or the planet Earth as you call it."

"Right. Because you are not Midgardian," my life had taken a very very strange turn, enough so that I would have thought I was dreaming if not for the sight I suddenly caught over Thor's shoulder of a very put upon, very wet Ranger.

"Uh, if you're causing the rain, I think the others might appreciate it if you made it stop," I pointed out.

"Of course," Thor nodded and the rain immediately stopped.

"We need to move," Ranger said. "We've neutralized the threat, but it would be best to not be here when the police arrive.

"I can't move," I told him calmly.

"Thor!" Ranger barked out. "Report!"

"Lady Stephanie is my mate!" he cried happily. Which wasn't even an exaggeration because I could see dampness glistening in his eyes.

"Say what?" I asked.

"On Midgard, you have soulmates, and you identify them by their first words spoken to you which are somewhere on your body, correct? Words in black if the relationship is of a romantic nature, and grey if they are what you refer to as platonic."

I nodded my head dumbly, looking at the Merry Men gathered around and seeing matching looks of surprise on their faces before my gaze returned once more to the mountain of a man in front of me.

"Well, on Asgard, if you meet a brother or sister of the soul, or your platonic soulmates, you are drawn together to clasp arms like warriors. But mates are drawn thusly together."

"Mates," I squeaked out.

"Yes, that is what we call 'romantic soulmates.' It is simpler, no?"

"Okay, so for some crazy reason, you think I'm your romantic soulmate. Which is just wrong on so many levels. I mean, you're a god, and I'm a disaster."

"There is no think," Thor reassured. "There are few forces that can immobilize me, and rest assured I am just as unable to move as you. The only answer is that the forces of the Universe wish us to come together as mates. Unlike on Midgard, mates are uncommon in Asgard, and they are never incorrectly matched. I doubt very much that you are a disaster, as everything I have learned of you thus far points to you being a loyal friend with much love to give in her heart. I am humbled to be chosen for you."

I stared at Thor, having no idea what to say only breaking out of the stupor when I realized that I could actually hear sirens getting closer now. Finally I said, "okay. Say I believe you. How do we make ourselves able to move again?"

By way of answering, Thor simply dropped his head and pressed his lips to mine. For a beat, it was a chaste kiss, just a brush of our mouths against one another. But who could blame me for the fact that, feeling the spark between us, I felt compelled to open to him. When his tongue thrust into my mouth, I let out a low moan and didn't even notice the fact that we were both moving, hands drifting reverently over each other.

A loud throat clearing noise brought me back to reality, and Thor pressed one more quick, closed-mouth kiss to my lips before lowering me to the ground.

"We need to go. Now," Ranger said.

Thor nodded his head, wrapped his arm tightly around me once more, and his hammer flew up from the ground into his hand. I barely had time to look over at it before Thor did something, and we were flying through the air with the hammer held in front of his head.

While most people would have probably shrieked or something in response, I was someone who had always wanted to fly, so I could only giggle in delight. Obviously Thor heard me because he made a hum of approval and loosened his grip just enough for me to be able to shift so that I had a good view of the world soaring past us instead of having my face pressed into his armor too much to see.

Much too early for my liking, we were landing, and a quick look around told me that it was on the roof of the Rangeman building.

"Got an earpiece still?" I asked. When Thor nodded, I followed up with, "Does it still work after the lightning and armor thing?"

"Yes," Thor explained. "I brought this one with me, and Hector was able to connect it to the Rangeman system."

I held out my hand and wiggled it at him, receiving a smile and the earpiece in return. I slid it into my ear and pressed the button on the side to activate the microphone.

"I'm okay," I said, causing the clamoring to die down. "We're on the roof at Rangeman, but I don't have my keys. Can someone ask Hector to-"

I cut off when I heard the buzz of the door unlocking. I reached for it, but Thor beat me to it, pulling it open and gesturing for me to pass through before him. I smiled my thanks, and added to Ranger. "We'll be in his apartment."

Without taking any further argument, I tapped the button to turn it back off and handed the radio back to Thor, telling him, "they're about thirty minutes away, but I wouldn't be surprised if Ranger at least made it in fifteen or twenty minutes."

"He is quite protective of you," Thor said carefully. "I was told when I arrived that you were Ranger's woman, and I was not to touch."

I must have pulled quite the expressive facial expression because Thor laughed when he looked at me. In explanation, I said, "Ranger and I had a couple romantic encounters, but that part of our relationship has been over for the better part of a year now and will not be resuming. They're all overprotective of me, but I'm unattached. Or I was until you. I mean, I don't want to assume that you want me, I just mean-"

We'd reached Thor's apartment and I was cut off by him kissing me thoroughly. When he pulled back, he murmured, "believe me, I want. But we have other matters to attend to first, not the least of which is getting to know one another."

"When we were talking on the phone, I felt," I paused trying to describe it. "Drawn to you."

"Aye," Thor said. "I felt something similar when I heard you over the surveillance equipment; it is why I called and spoke to you further. I suspected that it may have been a bond, but I did not know of which kind. I am most joyed to find that we are meant to be mates."

"Me too," I whispered softly. "So, if there is no danger in Trenton, how and why are you here?"

"I have been unhappy," Thor admitted, "and my friends were concerned for me. Clint proposed a wager, though I believe his primary mission was to raise my spirits. He arranged for Ranger to hire me temporarily, and I was to go one month living in Trenton without giving away the fact that I was not a Midgardian."

I couldn't stop the smile that crossed my lips as I asked, "and how long did you last?"

"I believe it has been eight days," Thor told me with a grimace. "Though these were unusual circumstances, I do not believe my friend will see fit to forego payment."

"And what do you owe him?"

"A barrel of Asgardian spirits, though I believe I shall try to persuade him to accept two, much larger, barrels of mead instead. The other is much too strong for a mortal such as himself to drink."

I had no real way of knowing what he was talking about, but I figured he knew, so I hummed in agreement. I opened my mouth to ask another question when Thor spun and placed himself between me and the door to the apartment before it burst open. Ranger plowed his way inside followed by Hal and Cal (who stopped to give me hugs to reassure me that they were okay). Several seconds later, the door opened once more and Hector, Ram, Tank, Bobby, and Lester crammed themselves into the small studio apartment as well.

Whether to make more room in the tiny space or to feed some sort of need to reassure himself of my presence, I wasn't sure, but Thor pulled me into him so my back was plastered to his front with an arm around my waist.

"What questions do you have?" Thor asked quickly. "I would assuage your concerns as quickly as I may, though I suspect we have not much time before my team arrives."

"Your team?" I squeaked out, and Thor's grip tightened slightly as though to let me know he's rather answer the other's questions first.

"Aye," he spoke quickly. "They will be concerned by Mjolnir's departure and arrive to aid me if necessary as soon as they are able to assemble. They know this is where I've been living and working, so it will be their first stop."

"Right," Ranger said slowly, then stepped back out into the hall as he pulled out his phone. No one said anything and when he came back in, Ranger asked, "what are your intentions with Steph?"

"Ranger," I argued. "I am a grown woman, I don't need you to-"

"My intentions are most honorable. A mate match such as ours is highly revered on Asgard, and I intend to treasure it and her. I will do everything in my power to keep her happy and safe."

Ranger studied my soulmate carefully then nodded his head. "I assume you need to quit your job here at Rangeman then."

Thor laughed and said, "I must apologize for not fulfilling the contract length. If ever you need my assistance, call upon me and I would be honored to offer my aid. And I thank you for providing me a safe place to call home, even if it was only for a short time."

There was a knock on the door, and Ranger turned to open it. When it was fully open, I could see Hawkeye standing there with Captain America and Black Widow an intimidating presence immediately behind him. He looked Thor over head to foot, brow raising slightly when he noticed the arm that Thor had banded around me. When his face drifted all the way back to Thor's face, he smirked and said, "Looks like I win."

Captain America sighed from behind him, but looked to Ranger who was still standing in front of the door and asked, "is there somewhere larger we can take this?"

Ranger turned to lock eyes at me, and with my reassuring smile and nod said, "that will be unnecessary. We're done here."

He left the door unguarded and walked over to give me a hug, "give me a call if you need _anything_."

"Thanks," I whispered around. "Can you take care of-"

"Rex, your skips, and your rent until I hear from you otherwise," he promised.

"Thanks," I said again, choking up a little that he was willing to do so much for me out of our friendship.

"Babe."

He was right, I'd do the same for him. I snuck in one last hug then watched as Ranger shook Thor's hand and walked out. Each Merry Man offered me a hug and congratulations before following their boss out of the apartment.

Once we were alone, Thor's three teammates stepped into the apartment. "Wait for me?" Thor asked quietly. "I must gather my belongings."

Things were a little awkward for a few beats as Thor walked into the closet to get a bag, then into the restroom to gather whatever he had there.

The Black Widow stalked toward me, and it took everything in my power to not shrink away. I had no doubt that if Thor left me relatively unprotected, he believed that they posed no risk to me.

"So, I have you to blame for the fact that my soulmate is going to be outrageously drunk sometime soon?" she asked.

I couldn't stop myself from reacting to those words which were etched on my skin in grey.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I certainly don't want to make your life any more difficult than it no doubt has been."

"Ah," she said with a look of understanding. "I apologize, but I need to see them."

Knowing she meant her words, I glanced over at the other two men. Seeming to catch on, Captain America said, "sorry, ma'am. We'll turn our backs now. Let us know when we can turn around again."

"Oh," I responded. "I guess you might as well stay facing forward then."

The Captain's eyes widened, but he nodded his head before turning and gesturing for Hawkeye, who pouted, to turn his back.

Slowly, I pulled my shirt off, glad that I was wearing a sports bra with more coverage than something from Victoria's Secret. Though a glance over showed Thor walking out of the bathroom, and when he saw me I was torn between my initial relief and a regret that I didn't have something a little more enticing on. He seemed surprised at first, but then his eyes wandered and he approached slowly as though waiting for me to object.

Captain America and Black Widow approached as well, and Thor murmured, "I thought you said that you were Blank, yet these are clearly words. I assume two of these belong to my friends here."

"The term 'Blank' is used here to refer to people who don't have romantic matches," Black Widow explained. She pointed to her words on me and nodded her head before unzipping her jumpsuit and pulling it down one arm enough for me to see my words written across her shoulder. "The fact that she has platonics, unfortunately, means next to nothing to a lot of people."

Captain America repeated a similar process, locating his words and then pulling up his pant leg so that I could see my words on his lower leg. Then he flushed and turned his back until I pulled my shirt back on and called out that both men could turn around once more. Faced with three Avengers in front of me, and one who was apparently my mate moving once more about the confined space, I was a little intimidated.

"So, I'm Steph," I said, offering them a little finger wave. "Apparently I wasn't lacking a romantic soulmate after all, it's just that because mine is Thor, and he's Asgardian, I didn't have words. That isn't how soulmates work there."

"How do you know she's your soulmate then?" Hawkeye asked suspiciously. "Though I suppose having two more Avengers as platonics lends credence to that."

I explained what had happened with the floating instead of falling and the whole body smushing, and Natasha's eyes were sparkling by the end. "Where did you say that was again?"

I hadn't said, but I told her the address of the building across the street from the safe house, and a moment and several phone keystrokes later, she was gleefully watching a video of the encounter.

"Well, that's a heck of a day for you," Captain America said.

"It sure is, Captain," I replied.

"Steve," he told me solemnly. "And these two are just Natasha and Clint."

"Got a last name, Steph?" Natasha asked.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, born in Trenton, New Jersey, 32 years of age." Natasha looked at me in surprise and I just added, "background check, right?"

Clint snorted out a laugh, and when Natasha and Steve turned to him, he said, "she's the Bombshell Bounty Hunter of Trenton. And the one that Ranger calls 'Babe' and the rest have various nicknames for as you witnessed some of. Hector, the small hispanic one with the teardrop gang tats on his face is crazy good with computers. If there was something in her history that they didn't want anyone to dig up, they'd have buried it a year or so ago when they really got to know her without her even asking."

Everyone turned back to me, and I felt my jaw drop open. "I never asked them to. Not that there's anything to hide. But you don't really think they'd…? Son of a bitch! You're right. They'd have done it and not said a word about it! There's not much that I think they would have altered though, other than maybe some records about some police reports where people tried to kill me and what happened to them. But I really don't think that counts."

"Who tried to kill you?" Natasha demanded.

"Oh, you know… a few dozen people. And a whole gang. But I'm used to it, so no big deal. I mean, we just got rid of the current stalker today, so as far as I know no one is actively wanting to kill me at the moment."

Steve cleared his throat, clearly trying not to laugh and half said, half asked "you're a bounty hunter."

"Yes," I replied. "Though I have to admit, I'm not great."

Natasha snorted out a laugh, "well, there's no way you're former military, law enforcement, or anything like that."

"Nope, former lingerie buyer."

There were a few beats of silence at that, and I just shrugged. "I was broke, my cousin needed a bounty hunter, and I blackmailed my way into the job."

"You're alright, Plum," Clint said with a smile.

Noticing that Thor had finished packing, I turned to him and said, "so, what's the plan?"

"If it would be alright with you, I would like to take you back to my home at the Avengers base. If you so desire, you will have your own rooms, but I would treasure the opportunity to spend the rest of the day getting to know you. Then… there are protocols," he explained.

"Protocols?" I prompted, when he seemed nervous about going forward.

"You see, I gave up my claim to the throne of Asgard, at least for the time being, but I am the son of Odin, All-Father, and there are rules for meeting my mate. We must journey to Asgard without much delay where you will be presented to the Court."

"Presented. To the Court," I sat down abruptly on the floor and put my head between my legs, grateful when Steve stepped forward and put his hand on the back of my head for me to push back against. When I caught my breath, I looked up at Thor and smiled weakly. "Sure, sounds fun. I'm all about propriety and manners."

"They will love you for you are my mate," Thor tried to reassure me.

Mostly I figured he was wrong, but in the meantime, I was going to take a trip into Denial Land and pretend I wasn't about to go to another planet to meet the king and be presented to "the Court." Whatever the hell that meant.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, JE never gives us Stephanie's actual birth year. In the first book it says she's 30, and after that I believe it says at most "thirty something." I think there have only really been enough holidays to technically account for a full year. JE has given interviews where she admits Steph basically doesn't age, so I decided to make her 32. If I'm off, well, it's an AU anyway, right?


	4. Considerations

**Chapter 04 - Considerations**

As we walked out of the apartment and up the stairs, I looked at Thor out of the corner of my eye, grateful that he'd slowed his pace to match mine instead of bounding up them with the other superheroes.

"When we were flying earlier," I asked, "why wasn't I cold? Because as much as getting to fly fulfilled a _lifelong_ dream of mine, and I mean that in all seriousness, I can't help but think I should have been cold."

"For the most part, my mother shared her gifts of sorcery with my brother, not me, but she did see fit to show me a few things that would help me see to your comfort one day."

Clint snorted a laugh above us, but it was followed up by two distinct thudding noises and matching grunts of pain then blissful silence. I managed to keep my reaction to that inside my head. Instead, I changed the subject saying, "In all honesty, three Avengers wasn't so bad. I was almost expecting your entire team to raid the building when you said they'd be worried about Muley-near."

"Mjolnir," Thor corrected me. Then he sounded it out, "myawl-nir."

"Mjolnir," I tried, relieved when Thor beamed at me in response.

"Rest of the team is on the roof waiting for us," Steve told me. "Sorry you didn't get the full effect, but the guard that was sent to greet us requested only a smaller party go inside."

At that point, we reached the access door, so there wasn't really time to react or prepare for that. While I realistically knew I was safe with Thor, it didn't stop me from shifting behind him when a small, curvy woman with long brown hair came barreling at me.

"You better not have an unknown romantic soulmate waiting for you that's going to make you break my brother's heart!" She paused to take a deep breath and said, "because I don't blame Jane at all, but Thor already dealt with that once and I won't watch him hurt like that again!"

I looked at my new platonic soulmate nervously then over at Thor who nodded to me. Turning back to the woman, I said quietly, "well, it turns out I did, but it's your… brother?"

"Oh my Thor, what?!" the woman practically shrieked. "Thor, you have a romantic soulmate? How did I not know that? Wait, how did she not know that?! And how do you know you're a match?"

Thor laughed happily and pulled the woman into a quick hug. When he released her he said, "Steph, this is Darcy. She is the closest thing I have ever had to a younger sister."

As we walked toward what appeared to be some sort of jet together, everyone else silently following, Thor held my hand in both of his and began telling the story of how we met. It had just happened to me, and yet I was absolutely enthralled by Thor's version.

When he finished up, there were a few beats of silence before a man who looked vaguely familiar but had a metal arm spoke. "So the other two thirds of my triad get to have you as a platonic, but I don't?"

"Well, it seems that is not the case," I replied calmly.

"Wait, how many platonics do you have?" asked friendly voice of the man I thought I recognized as the one who flew around with wings.

Well, that was the last one, so I smiled at him and said, "seems to me the answer is five, and you're all finally done revealing yourselves."

Thor hummed noncommittally, and I rolled my eyes up to him with a questioning look on my face. In response he just shrugged then leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead saying, "you should show them their words."

Motioning for everyone else to turn around because Darcy's were on my back, under my bra strap, and my shirt would have to come off again, I made quick work of pointing out my words and acknowledging theirs before righting my clothes once more.

Natasha and Clint were at the front in the pilot's seat, and Clint called back, "if you're done I'd like to get us on our way home!"

"Don't mind him," Natasha yelled in response. "He's just grumpy because he feels left out."

I'd met several other teammates who weren't matched with me, namely Wanda, Pietro, Vision, and Rhodey, but I thought it best not to point out to Clint that they were evenly split.

"So that's Thor," Darcy said as she found a seat between Steve and Bucky. "Then Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Sam, and I as platonics? Nice haul there, Steph!"

I blushed and said, "I honestly am expecting to wake up any minute now."

I looked around for empty seats, and when I moved toward one, Thor just tightened his grip and whispered, "I will not let you fall."

"Promise?" I asked.

He met my gaze resolutely, as though willing me to see that he wasn't just referring to the flight and nodded his head. Even with the armor, he was surprisingly comfortable, so I settled in for the ride, watching as the conversation flowed around us.

I was pleased that other than casual introductions to everyone I'd yet to meet, I wasn't forced to be the center of attention for this intimidating group. Occasional questions were directed my way in an attempt to get to know me, but it wasn't the overwhelming deluge or interrogation that I'd dreaded when Thor first mentioned his team showing up. And, for the most part, the attitudes directed toward me were extremely positive. People seemed genuinely happy for Thor, and by extension me, and it did wonders to make me feel welcome.

When we'd been in flight for a few moments, I realized that I had nothing and looked up over my shoulder at Thor. "Ummm, we didn't stop by my apartment on our way out of town."

"We'll be able to outfit you," Darcy reassured me.

"And I'll go to your apartment tomorrow and pick up some things for you," Bucky told me.

Because I was in a Rangeman uniform and it was one of the few personal things I had on my equipment belt, I pulled my keychain out of a pouch and held it out to Bucky. "Thanks, my address is…" I trailed off when I saw the look on Bucky's face. "Right. Spy. And my apartment is apparently so ridiculously easy to break into that everyone but me can do it, even a little person with no real relevant experience, so I'll just keep these. Hey, shouldn't you have disarmed me before you let me onboard or something?"

Sam snorted out a laugh, and I protested, "hey, I've managed to not die almost two years into this job! I can take care of myself!"

"We're Avengers," Steve said noncommittally.

"And your taser and your stun gun are dead," Darcy said sounding bored. When I looked at her in surprise, she told me "Hey, I'm not an Avenger, but I do enjoy my lightning weapons, so even I can see that!"

"The gun doesn't have bullets in it either," Bucky added lazily.

How he knew that without having touched it, I had no clue. Maybe it was part of his super powers.

Sighing, I pulled the taser out along with the stun gun and checked the batteries, sighing when I realized Darcy was right.

"Not going to check the gun?" Sam asked.

"No, that one I know is empty. I keep forgetting to buy bullets," I told him.

"And your last bullets?" Natasha asked.

"Another of Lady Stephanie's tormentors is in agony at the gates of Hel," Thor said confidently, startling me.

Thor had been silent until then, choosing instead to seemingly focus all his energy on me. And I didn't just mean mental energy, his hands and been casually stroking me everywhere they could while still being appropriate in front of his friends and coworkers, but everywhere he touched was left with what felt like a hum of electricity in it. And the more he touched, the more intense the sensation got, causing me to feel drawn to him almost magnetically.

Not wanting to deal with the looks the others were giving me, I leaned more fully against Thor and closed my eyes. As the others asked questions about past adversaries, I allowed myself to drift.

I hadn't been aware of how much Ranger and his men had told Thor about me, though I supposed that meant that they weren't joking after all when they said I was an entire unit of their new employee training program. Maybe I should have been embarrassed by that, but I was too busy enjoying the rumbling I could actually feel in Thor's chest as he spoke.

Something inside me just wanted more Thor. More contact, more everything, so I took a small shuffle step back until I was pressed against him everywhere I could be, and Thor's story faltered only briefly when my back made contact with a very interested part of his body.

An extremely large and interested part.

I shifted in surprise, and one of Thor's arms banded tight around my waist as though to hold me still. I opened my eyes to quickly scan those around us, relieved when none of them seemed to have registered the insane energy that was flowing between us.

"So, I have a question," Darcy said when silence lapsed among the group, and she turned her attention on Thor and I once more.

"Go ahead," I said when she didn't immediately continue.

"Us Midgardians complete our bonds by making the beast with three backs and lining up our soulmarks when we do. Get it Steve, Bucky? Three backs!" Steve looked slightly pained, and Bucky had an indulgent smirk on his face, giving Darcy a quick kiss before she continued. "Anywho, it's awesome and kinda mind-meldy and that's how it works, but you guys don't have words, right? Or did they only show up when you met?"

Thor shifted behind me and at first I thought it was because he was uncomfortable with the discussion topic, but then I realized that it had more to do with him growing even more aroused just thinking about the act. I had to stop myself from turning around and just starting a makeout session.

Thankfully, before I could think too long and talk myself into doing just that, Thor responded, "in truth, I am aware of no other Midgardian-Asgardian mating pairs such as ourselves. As such, I'm not certain what will happen, but as finding each other was governed by the rules of Asgardian mates, I have no reason to believe anything but that our bonding will follow the same course."

"Right, so…" Darcy trailed off, but wiggled her eyebrows and made it clear that she didn't consider her question answered.

"The bond already forms," Thor responded. "And it draws us together most temptingly. At least, I do not believe that I am the only of the two of us who feels it."

All eyes turned to me, and I blushed but shook my head. Clearing my throat, I said, "it's not just you."

And when did my voice get that husky?

"Asgardians believe that bonds formed are stronger the sooner the union is consummated; it is simply the act itself is what completes the bond. However, I have promised Stephanie I will not rush her, and whenever we see fit to complete the bond will, I am sure, be soon enough," Thor hurried to clarify, hand lightly patting my hip.

Bucky muttered something that I thought sounded like, "she doesn't look like she feels the need to wait," but I wasn't sure.

Steve just studied Thor pensively before turning his gaze to me and saying, "Asgardians live for a very long time, and you said soulmate pairs are rare. I imagine the belief is that if Fate has deemed you suitable mates, you will have some ups and downs over the millennia, but you make it work."

"Millennia?" I squeaked out.

"Thor's over a thousand years old," Darcy told me casually, like the revelation was unimportant.

"Asgardians can live to be five thousand years or more," Thor told me. "Though a warrior such as myself does not expect to live so long."

"I'm going to die so soon for you," I whispered out. "And get so old and you're never going to appear to age to me!"

I felt panic begin to creep in so Thor just spun me in his arms and resolutely met my gaze. "When we go to Asgard, there will be many options available to you and to us for that matter. Please do not worry about it now. I will love you and belong to you from today until the day I die, no matter how long I have you for. That is what it means to be mates, and Fate would not behave so cruelly to us."

Something in his eyes and that endless pull I felt toward him had me nodding my head and accepting the kiss he slowly lowered himself to press upon me. I lost myself in his lips when his tongue started thrusting into my willing mouth.

I only snapped out of it when Thor let out a surprised grunt, and shifted still holding me comfortably. And when had I climbed him like a tree? Pulling my head back, I took in my surroundings.

The jet had landed and the back ramp was open once more. The team was completely out of sight except for Steve who was moving away from us quickly. As near as I could tell, he must have smacked Thor on the back to get his attention so we wouldn't stay out all night for anyone who was at the base to see.

My heart was racing and that force drawing me to Thor had only been fueled by our kiss. It had spread now to include a pulsing between my legs and I knew I had to have him.

Leaning forward, I pressed kisses to Thor's neck. I stopped momentarily to nibble on his ear and bask in the hungry groan he released in response. Then I whispered in his ear, "I want us to have all of each other for as long as we can, and I want our bond as strong as possible. If you want me?"

After letting loose a deep, primal sound, Thor dropped his head on my shoulder and took a couple steadying breaths. He picked me back up and started walking as he said, "we should discuss this matter in private, but yes. If that is what you want, I will gladly have you this night or any other."

Well, when he phrased it like that my body got way more interested in doing the deed than even when it was under the Vordo spell my ex-boyfriend's grandmother had placed me under to make me unscrupulously horny in the hopes of breaking us up.

Still, I managed to maintain enough of my brain to really think it over. Was bonding with this god of a man I had just met what I wanted to do? Was it something I'd regret?

As I thought of the questions, one thing became undeniably clear to me. I did want the bond. Every poor romantic decision I'd made in my life really boiled down to the fact that I hadn't believed in myself enough to find myself worthy of anyone who could really love me back. Being blank, I'd thought there was something seriously wrong that made me unmatchable.

Each day I'd awoken with a kind of hole inside of me, so I'd tried to force relationships, and even a marriage, to try to fill that void. The truth of the matter was, however, that the moment Thor had spoken to me on the phone, he had begun to fill the emptiness. Every fiber of my being was telling me that this was my other half, and that wasn't going to change if we bonded now or ten weeks from now or however long it took for me to know that it was right.

Frankly, I didn't care if it seemed rash, I was willing to take the jump. I just needed to get Thor on board.

"You have done a remarkable job of convincing me that you are certain," Thor stated, and I startled in his arms realizing I'd been speaking out loud. "But there are still some things I must tell you."

"Well, obviously you were in a serious relationship with someone Darcy was close to, and possibly recently. I assume it was the same woman you mentioned before."

"Aye, her name is Jane and she thought herself to be blank until a mere handful of months ago. We were together for a number of years, though we did not spend too much time together over those years as I was forced to remain on Asgard for two of them and she was quite busy with her work." Thor said, setting me on my feet and ducking his head so that I could see the honesty in his face. "But there are other matters as well."

"Okay, I'm all ears," I told him, smiling up at him.

"There have been no mate matches between an Asgardian and a Midgardian that I am aware of, and you'll find that Asgardians, wrongly, believe themselves to be superior. No doubt when we go to Asgard, you will have those whispering behind your back and speaking out of turn. Perhaps you will be unable to live this way, and wish to leave me as we will have to spend a fair amount of time on Asgard if we are bonded."

"Thor, I've spent my entire life living in a place called the Burg where all they do is judge and gossip. I never fit in there, even within my own family, and I'm used to it. As long as you honestly don't feel that way, then I'll be fine."

Thor nodded his head in understanding then he said, "My mother, Frigga, was a daughter of the ancient Vanir. The Vanir might best be considered actual gods, while Asgardians are not. She was a sorceress with the Sight, and also the Goddess of Marriage and Bonding. Now that I have met you, I believe she saw you and knew I would find you."

"She told you about me?" I asked.

Thor shook his head and explained, "not directly, no. It is believed to be a curse to reveal one's mate to him before Fate has deemed their meeting appropriate. But she did tell me many stories of Midgardians, and she made sure to tutor me in a few topics, which I believe to be related. In particular she spoke of how mating with others of realms more similar to Asgard did not seem to have an effect on non-Asgardians, she believed the same would not be true of those who live in realms that are more significantly different."

"Like Midgard," I provided.

"Yes," Thor answered. "In truth, I was not a good student for her lessons, preferring instead to be learning to battle and wage war, and I am not sure what it means."

"Do you think us mating and bonding will kill me?" I asked bluntly.

"No," he hastily reassured me. "Possibly quite the opposite."

I wasn't entirely sure what the opposite of killing me was since I was already alive, but as long as I wasn't going to embarrass myself by dying having sex with my soulmate, I was okay with it if he was.

"Anything else?" I prompted.

"Mother's power was great, and I believe she had some ability to cast beyond the present before she died and went to Valhalla. There are objects she left for you, my mate, to have when I found you. I do not know if they are enchanted or what the results of those enchantments may be, but I guarantee you she meant you no harm."

"Okay," I said slowly. "Well, I'm definitely not going to reject my dead mother-in-law's gifts, so we'll just have to see then, won't we."

For some reason, that got a grin from Thor, whose expression had remained deathly serious through the conversation. "I am honored to have as my mate one who is as brave as you are," he told me before dropping a kiss on my lips. When he pulled back, he framed my face in his large hands and said, "to bond there must be nothing between us in our moment of intimacy. However, we shall leave for Asgard soon, and I can procure a elixir for you that will prevent you from bearing my child if you so choose."

"Ch-ch-child," I stammered.

"I would very much like to complete our family in time," Thor told me. "But it does not need to be for many years if you are not ready."

"I think," I took my time sorting my feelings out before I spoke. "I would like to have your child, but I'm not certain about right this moment. Do I have to take the elixir right away?"

"No," he whispered. "You have a fortnight or two to decide."

"A fortnight is two weeks, right?" I asked.

When I received a nod of affirmation, I blew out a breath and said, "okay. So. If I have this right, you want to make sure I know that you had a serious relationship with another Earthling, which clearly doesn't bother me. You are aware that I had one as well, and are not bothered by that. Actually there was another as well, but we didn't get married ever. When we bond, I may or may not get changed in some way by the magical forces of Fate. After bonding, we go to Asgard, where I may or may not get changed by yet more magical forces left behind by your mother for me, specifically. And you're probably going to knock me up, but I have two to four weeks in which I can decide whether or not to have said baby if it does happen and you're good with whichever I choose. Elixir or no elixir. Did I miss anything?"

"By 'knock you up' am I to presume you mean make you with child? Because I would never hit you," he sounded a little affronted, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"That's right," I reassured him. "Hey, that reminds me, you speak English well. I mean, weird like Shakespeare at times, but for the most part pretty normally if not much more formally than I do. Do Asgardians speak English? Or will I have to learn a new language?"

"Asgardians have what is called Allspeak," Thor told me. "It makes us able to communicate with all species in their native language. Everyone on Asgard will be able to speak to you in English."

"Wait. Can you talk to animals?" I asked.

"If the creature is intelligent enough to have a language, I can. But most are not. Though we seem to have strayed a bit from the point. Yes, that was a complete summary of that which I felt you needed to know before we bonded."

"Then okay," I said, surprising myself with the confidence reflected in my voice.

"Okay," Thor said. "You do not wish to think on this any longer? Perhaps make charts and lists of the pros and cons?"

"Your Jane was a thinker, wasn't she?" I asked.

"She was not mine," Thor said. "At least not in the same way that you will be and I will be yours. But yes, she was an astrophysicist. She won one of those Nobel prizes, and she was often the voice of reason for both Darcy and I."

"Well, God help us then," I told him. "Because I'm a doer and a feeler, as opposed to a thinker. And I've thought enough about what you've told me, and I know what I feel. I want to do this, Thor."

So saying, I pulled his lips down to mine and threw my arms around his neck.


	5. The Bonding

**Chapter 05 - The Bonding**

As soon as Thor's lips met mine, he made it one hundred percent clear that he was willing to be done talking as well. My arms clamping around his neck seemed to be the signal he was looking for because his arms immediately responded by holding tight around my waist so he could stand up to full height with me held against his front.

Of all the men I'd had sex with before, my ex-husband Dickie was the worst. With my ex-boyfriend, Joe Morelli, the sex had been acceptable. Some days it was really good, and some days he'd only been interested in himself and that'd done nothing for me. Compared to those two, Ranger had been a Wizard. He could coax me to orgasm in a matter of a couple minutes of intense focus, and make sure it wasn't the only one I got in that session.

About ten seconds into making out with Thor when there was mutually agreed upon intent, and I knew he would be light years better than the three of them combined. Assuming Jane wasn't his first, which I did assume, it seemed there were going to be definite benefits to being with a guy who'd had a thousand years to learn how to please a woman.

Thor walked steadily through the space I hadn't even looked around at, and I was pretty sure through a door before I felt myself being gently laid down on a luxurious bed. Thor stood back and in a blink of my eyes, his armor was gone. Presumably more comfortable in what seemed to be some sort of under clothes, Thor followed me down onto the bed.

A fraction of his weight settled on me carefully, but I immediately realized it would be a problem. I ripped my mouth free and said, "hold on a second."

Thor stopped and sat back at once, removing his hands from me in concern. Giving him a reassuring smile, I quickly undid my utility belt and lifted my hips up so that I could get my gun out from under me as I pulled the entire thing away from me. Not knowing what to do with it I just threw it off to the side, knowing the gun was unloaded anyway, and Thor's eyes sparkled with amusement.

When I started to lower my hips, Thor caught them gently in his hands, but waited until I made grabby hands at him before moving over me again and lowering himself down to resume kissing me.

Time became an irrelevant concept as we took each other's mouths, quickly determining how the other preferred to be kissed and committing it to memory. Of course it helped that our compatibility was such that everything I liked doing, like nibbling on a guy's lower lip, Thor liked having done too him. And since he never once did something I wasn't a huge fan of, I assumed the opposite was true as well.

Eventually just kisses weren't enough, and I pulled ineffectively at Thor's shirt growing increasingly frustrated. I must have made a sound because he pulled back and without missing a beat whipped his shirt off with one hand. As soon as it was revealed to me, I couldn't help but run my hands over his outrageously muscular chest. From there I was torn between moving on to those arms or his abs, but was delayed from making a selection by Thor pressing himself against me once more.

Moments after he took my mouth with his once more, Thor's fingers dug into my shirt and I barely registered the ripping noise as he tore it to shreds. Nothing could have stopped the strangled noise I made at that or prevented my hips from rising up so I could push against him and try to relieve some of the building pressure.

In response, Thor made a soothing sound but then cancelled it out by digging his hands I to the material of the sports bra I was wearing and utterly destroying that as well. That time my hips bumped his more urgently as I tried to figure out why his display of strength was so undeniably sexy to me.

Of course, I didn't have long to contemplate that before his mouth that had wandered to my neck slid down to my left breast and his hands caught my hips once more, controlling their pace against his superior strength. Unfortunately, the speed at which he had me moving against his torso was almost unbearably slow, yet I was too overridden by other sensations to bother fighting to adjust it myself.

At some point I gathered together the piece of mind to toe off my shoes, and was only vaguely aware of being rewarded by having Thor work my pants off me smoothly. Thank goodness for my Rangeman cargoes; they were much easier to remove than jeans. By the time I was down to just my panties, Thor had only just moved to the other breast, and I was desperate for him.

"Please, Thor," I gasped out. "Don't make me wait."

Looking up my body at me, Thor pulled back enough to say, "you are unused to me. I will see to your comfort and your pleasure, My Stephanie."

I had no doubt that he was placating me when I sighed in frustration at that, but still, it got him to pull my underwear off and leave me completely bare to him. Completely absent was the unease or self-consciousness I would normally have felt in such a situation. Instead I felt accepted, and cherished even by this huge but exceedingly gentle man before me.

Make no mistake, judging by the Merry Men I'd seen him standing next to earlier whose heights I knew, I put Thor at about six foot six. There wasn't an ounce of fat that I could find on his body, and I thought it was possible that some of his muscles had muscles of their own. And yet, not for one second did I feel unsafe or even that I was lacking.

Of course, big body meant big hands, and when he silenced me by gently sliding one finger into me, I realized then that it was likely his size was proportional _everywhere_ and it might be in my best interest to let him take his time. Then the finger started moving at the same time his lips took mine again and I didn't care what happened as long as I didn't stop feeling all the sensations that were currently buzzing through my body.

When his free hand took up playing with my right breast, I let out a happy sigh that turned into a strangled moan when I felt a sort of energy zap through my skin. At first I thought I imagined it, but Thor had pulled back from the kiss and was watching my face intently as he did it again. I was reasonably sure that he controlled lightning, so I figured it was some sort of electricity or something, and I definitely didn't hate it.

In fact, the way it gently pulsed on and off and traveled through me felt almost more like a faint buzzing than anything else, and I _really_ liked it. My enjoyment of the feeling must have shown on my face because Thor leaned up to be able to watch me better as he added a second finger inside me, pressed up, and then applied that same energy inside of me.

I went nuts. It was basically like having a gentle vibrator inside me, but one that had the dexterity of fingers and a mind of its own. His thumb slid up and joined the party, settling over my clit and I felt myself giving in to the pleasure and riding out my first orgasm. It went on longer than any I'd experienced before and when I came back to myself, I realized he had added a third finger and replaced his thumb with his tongue, gently lapping at me to ease me back down from the peak.

Reaching down with one of my hands, I ran my nails gently but firmly along his scalp and grabbed snuggly onto his hair. I tugged at him, and whispered, "Thor. Please!" when I felt myself building up once more.

This time, he offered no protest, sliding his fingers out of my desperate body and moving himself up so he could press a kiss to me. As he shifted, I ran my hands down from his shoulders and once his pants were undone, I helped him start to shove them down his legs from the back. Of course as soon as my hands cupped his toned ass, I stopped being useful and pulled him into me.

Thor's kisses turned desperate and moments later, I felt him pressing up against my opening. From the size of what I was feeling, I was beginning to regret not taking some of those toys Lula had forced me to buy when we were bringing in the skip who owned the sex shop more seriously. At the first moment of intrusion, I tensed up, expecting pain.

Thor just murmured to me softly, and when I realized it actually felt good, I relaxed and he pushed in steadily once more. Our eyes locked and held as he completed the slide until his hips rested against mine. The energy and connectedness we'd felt growing between us exploded undeniably… brighter, stronger, more everything.

With each shift into me, it felt that not only was Thor physically invading me, but mentally as well. I gradually became aware of a spot in the back of my mind opening up and I was certain it was a direct connection into Thor's mind. Through it, I could feel his arousal and it was almost enough to send me over the edge. It would have if Thor hadn't stopped and leaned his weight away from me to give me a break.

"Wait for me," he commanded. "I want us to enjoy this for as long as we possibly can."

I groaned, but deep down I knew the moment was special. Once it was complete, we would be bonded forever. As wonderful as that would be, it also meant that there could only be one bonding, and I understood Thor's desire to savor it.

Gaining control of myself, I nodded to Thor, but was unsurprised when he took advantage of that moment to rearrange us. He sat back on his shins and pulled me up and over him so my legs were on the outside of him. I was essentially sitting on his lap, but there was no doubt that with his big hands on either side of my hips that he was in absolute control of everything- angle, pace, intensity. Perhaps it made me lazy, but I loved the fact that all I had to do was experience every sensation.

Trying to hold off my inevitable climax, I prodded at the bond forming between us in our mind, sorting through the layers to try to understand Thor better. I felt lust, of course, but it was coated in awe, reverence, and what I felt sure was the beginnings of love. It was enough to eliminate even the slightest doubt that was left in my mind that this was the right thing to be doing.

I let the feeling of ...rightness… sweep over me, as I strained upward to share a kiss with him. Gently he shifted us again so that I was flat on my back, and through our fledgling bond I felt him urge me to let go. It was impossible to keep kissing as I gasped out in reaction to a somehow even more powerful orgasm, but my eyes flew open and met Thor's. He tipped over the edge just a second after me, and our gazes held, increasing the intimacy of the moment between us.

As the waves of pleasure continued to break over me, I was aware of the sounds of a storm in the background and what I thought was a light faintly glowing around us. Apparently reaching the end of his peak, Thor leaned down to press a kiss to me once more as I felt myself slowly, peacefully float away.

I'd heard tales of "le petit mort" before, and I had just enough control over my mind to wonder if that was what it was. Eventually, I decided not because I felt too aware to be fully unconscious. Still, as I floated there in my mind, I knew something was happening. The passage of time was irrelevant, and mostly all I felt was love for Thor, contentment, warmth and a sense of belonging like I had never known before. Certainly no one in my family had ever loved me so completely unconditionally as it seemed Thor already did.

In my own little world, I was mostly unaware of anything happening around me. It was like a prolonged state of mostly dreamless sleep, I sometimes got impressions of things, but never a fully conscious awareness. On a few occasions, I had an impression of being moved, but even that didn't rouse me enough to wake me. Often I would hear Thor's voice, too distant to make out the words, but always accompanied by that constant stream of loving support. Briefly I realized that the constant golden glow in my mind had given way to a light turquoise. I thought I heard an unknown female voice whispering to me, and somehow I knew I was almost done with my slumber.

When I awoke, it wasn't a gradual, groggy process like I usually experienced. No, I felt shoved unceremoniously into consciousness, gasping and trying to catch my breath. Immediately, I felt Thor by my side roll over to lean over me and stroke my face with one hand.

"Stephanie, you are safe. I have you," he told me, repeating slight variations of that until I felt my racing heart calm and relaxed once more.

Still sucking in air somewhat urgently, I smiled at Thor. Then I looked beyond him and saw ornate cloths draped over what looked like a heavy wooden frame I didn't remember seeing before. I struggled to sit up, holding the sheets to my chest and allowing Thor to help me when he whispered for me to be careful and take it slowly.

The bed I was in was massive, and the sheets I was clinging to were made of hands down the softest material I had ever felt. Beyond the bed everything looked ridiculously expensive.

I thought there was a chance that the walls were made of marble or something equally expensive with heavy amounts of carved gold in them.

"Thor?" I questioned meekly. "Where am I?"

Because one thing seemed clear to me, and that was that I was no longer in Thor's bedroom at the Avengers headquarters or whatever they called the place that I was in when I fell asleep.

"We are in our chambers at the royal palace in Asgard."

"Right," I squeaked out. Running mental self-evaluation, I decided that I was, in fact, naked. And I was naked in my last memory from before I apparently passed out for long enough to be transported to another freaking planet, so as I began to worry, I blurted out, "please God tell me you didn't bring me here naked!"

I heard a chorus of laughter from the foot of the bed, the only direction in which the canopy surrounding it was closed, and I screamed, not having realized that we weren't alone.

"Of course not," Thor reassured me. "I bathed you and dressed you in the clothes Bucky retrieved for you when I realized you were not merely asleep."

"Uh huh," I was surprised that although I had no idea what was going on, I was also not at all fuzzy as I would normally be after waking from a long sleep. "And given that we seem to not be alone here, how many people saw me arrive in whatever manner I did?"

Thor looked a little uncomfortable at that and I sighed. "So puny, primitive, unworthy Midgardian gets carried into Asgard by the big warrior prince? Ugh. How lame is that?"

"Of course not!" Thor cried out! "You are most worthy, and Natasha insisted you were clad as the fierce warrior you are."

He gestured to the side, and I looked over to see what must have been a replacement Rangeman uniform neatly folded on a ridiculously fancy couch. Sitting on top of the clothes were my utility belt with all the weapons attached and resting on the ground were a pair of combat boots that I did not recognize.

I fell a little in love with my platonic soulmates when I noticed a flak vest I hardly ever used as well as a few knives I'd never see before off to one side as well. Tilting my chin in their direction to draw Thor's attention to them, I raised my brow questioningly at him.

Thor leaned down and whispered so as not to be overheard, "Natasha thought a little extra couldn't hurt. And she says the gun has bullets in it now and she better not ever find it without again unless you just emptied it into some deserving bastard."

I laughed in surprise at hearing those words come out of Thor's mouth and felt his joy in response to my laughter come through our shared connection which it seemed had only grown stronger and more clear in the time that had passed. He was staring at me fondly and leaned down to offer me a chaste kiss. When my stomach decided to growl quite loudly, Thor pulled back and called out to whoever was on the other side of the curtains, "leave us so that My Lady can prepare herself and join us for the feast!"

"We will be in the antechamber, eager to meet her, My Lord!" was called back in response.

Thor waited where he was for a few moments until the rustling noises were gone, then stood and offered me his hand. "I am sure that you have many more questions, but as you are awake, we really must go. We shall sit with my father for the start of the feast and the first course, but then we shall sit with my soul brothers and sister. They are the ones waiting for us, for they refused to let me sit vigil alone or take themselves to the feast when the healers informed me you would be sleeping for a prolonged length of time."

At the mention of his father, I had a sudden flash of memory, and as I stood with his help, I blurted out even as I completed the thought, "I think I met your mother. I'm fairly certain it was her presence I felt. While I was…" I trailed off gesturing to the bed, and was relieved to see a look of joy on Thor's face in response to the information.

"I have no doubt it was her, nor is it surprising that you could sense her presence in your state. Come, let me help you dress, and we shall discuss this further tomorrow."

Thor was wearing what appeared to be a lighter version of his armor, and I sighed when I saw the clothes laid out for me.

"What is the matter?" Thor asked. "Does this not please you?"

His brow was furrowed, and I just leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek and said, "if this is the standard, then it is fine. There is no doubt that gown is gorgeous on any realm. I just hardly ever wear dresses, and when I do, there is much less material involved. In fact, I think the last time I wore a dress this long was at my wedding." Feeling that it was probably best not to dwell on that particular can of worms, I hastily added, "I'm a little afraid of tripping, and just generally scared of making a fool of myself."

"You are my mate, and as such will be treated with the utmost respect. If anyone dares treat you otherwise, you must tell me, Lady Sif, or one of The Warriors Three and we shall see to it that it does not happen again."

I nodded because there wasn't much more I could do with that information. Suddenly realizing I was standing naked in front of Thor, I flushed and reached for what looked like some sort of slip.

"You do not need to be embarrassed with me," Thor instructed, allowing his desire for me flowing through the bond. "I have already seen all that you have to offer me and I find it most delightful."

I flushed even more at that and found Thor's heated gaze. Sighing, I gave in and pulled him down for a brief make out session. When his hands started wandering and taking advantage of my state, I danced away and began dressing. I watched out of the corner or my eye as Thor straightened himself out and shifted to make his clothes fit more comfortably.

He cleared his throat and winked at me knowingly then moved to show me how to properly fasten the undergarments.

"Help a lot of women get dressed in your thousand plus years?" I teased.

"Those are not the stories I would share with you," Thor replied softly. "But I am glad to be able to aid you in this, as I doubt you would appreciate a stranger's help at this time."

He was right about that, and I'd just wanted to lighten the mood a little, which seemed to have worked, so I let it drop. The dress itself was a deep blue in a silky material with a cowl neck. What surprised me, however, was the light chestplate, shoulder, and forearm armor that Thor affixed to me over it, all beautifully decorated with fine detailing.

"You have come to the people of Asgard as the warrior you are, and you shall remind them that you are one," Thor told me. "These were my mother's and she wore them often when she felt the need to remind those around her of her ferocious spirit. She left them for you."

As soon as he finished clasping the last piece on, a sword materialized in my hand, and he nodded happily. "She left you that as well. I believe all you will have to do is think of it, and it will appear from anywhere in the galaxy, no matter how far away you last left it."

I looked down at the item in my hand, feeling the weight of the implications that his mother thought I might need that. "Will you teach me to use it?" I asked softly. "Swordfighting is not common on Midgard."

"I will if you would like," he agreed. "However, I think you might find Lady Sif a better tutor for you in that particular skill."

So saying he fastened a necklace around my neck and walked a steady circle around me as I slipped on the shoes that were laid out for me after setting the sword gently on the couch.

My hair was down, but a quick look in the mirror told me that it was somehow behaving itself, so I knew it was alright. I barely recognized myself, wearing the clothes that I was, but Thor seemed pleased with my appearance. "Do I look okay?" I still asked him.

"You are the most perfect woman in all the nine realms to me, and I am proud to have you by my side," he responded instantly. "I would much rather stay here and prove that to you, but I fear my friends are reaching the end of their patience."


	6. After Effects

**A/N:** It's still Thor's day, so I'm not technically late. I just got distracted by the new Captain America: Civil War trailer!

* * *

 **Chapter 06 - After Effects**

Before we left, I took a moment to avail myself of the attached bathroom, which I was pleased to find was a lot like a Midgardian bathroom, indoor plumbing and all. Sure, it was way fancier than anything I'd ever personally seen or used, but since the decor seemed decidedly Victorian to me, I'd been worried that there wouldn't be modern amenities, even though Thor had mentioned Asgardians believing themselves to be more advanced.

When I emerged, Thor put a hand around my waist and started walking me toward the other open doorway in the room. I idly wondered if that meant the big double doors were a closet, and I mentally began imagining getting to fill half such a space with my own clothes.

Down a short hallway from what it seemed was our bedroom was a smaller room, though it was still the size of my entire apartment in Trenton. Maybe slightly larger. In it were some couches, a fireplace, a desk, and a kitchen-type table around which sat three men in full armor and a woman with her back to me.

As we approached, they all stood, and as soon as the woman turned to me, I felt that pulling again, though this time it was mostly focused on my arm outstretched in front of me. The woman was similarly pulled forward with a smile on her face, and when I reached her we clasped arms. "Hello, Lady Stephanie," she said. "I am Lady Sif, and it would seem that we are sisters of the soul. I am honored."

"As am I," I said politely, relieved when our arms were able to release from one another after the simple introduction.

Once I stepped back, the largest of the men, with long hair that blended into his overgrown beard and mustache strode forward and, much to my surprise, immediately swept me into a huge hug lifting me off my feet.

"Stephanie, this is Volstagg," Sif said. "Who will put you down at once, you've been through quite enough this past fortnight without being crushed by this oaf!"

After he released me, the next man, with dark hair pulled back into a bun and much more tamed beard and mustache stepped forward and did his own, voluntary arm clasp.

"This is Hogun," Thor said, taking up the introductions. The last man, a blonde with trim facial hair and a flirtatious smile stepped forward and took my hand to grace it with a flourishing kiss, and Thor just said, "and the last of the Warriors Three, Fandral-"

"The Dashing," Fandral cut in. "And it is a pleasure to make the acquaintance of one so beautiful as yourself."

Turning to Thor, I said, "he knows I'm your mate, right? And _he_ is one of the ones I go to if someone treats me inappropriately?"

Sif let out a long suffering sigh and took my hand from Fandral's grasp, linking arms with me and moving our group forward as she responded, "have no fear, Fandral flirts as freely as he does breathe, but he understands full well your position among us and will never take advantage of his position as close friend and soul brother of Thor, and your friend too, in time. Rest assured, the bluster aside, he is quite the honorable man- they all are. Though I am quite pleased to add another female to our midst, and a soul sister at that!"

She ended enthusiastically, and from the amused expression on the four men's faces, I got the distinct impression that Sif was not normally so outwardly friendly. Leaning into her I whispered conspiratorially just loudly enough for the entire group to hear, "Frigga's sword kind of magically appeared in my hand earlier, and Thor said you might be willing to teach me to use it. Is that true?"

"I look forward to it," Sif told me eagerly. The men around us groaned, and Sif whispered, "you will not believe how long it took to convince the men of Asgard that a woman could be one of their mightiest warriors. As such, I would allow no man to train my soul sister."

Thor strode up next to me, and expertly maneuvered me out of Sif's grasp saying, "at first I was pleased by your matching, but I see now that I should be quite concerned."

I laughed at that before asking, "Sif, did you say I've been here for a fortnight?"

"Aye," Thor answered for her carefully.

"Okay, if I have been unconscious for two weeks, how is it that I'm walking?" I asked urgently, trying desperately not to think of the other issue that would need to be addressed soon if I wanted to prevent it.

Thor pulled me into his side and pressed a kiss to the top of my head saying, "remember, we agreed to discuss these matters in depth at a later time as we are running late tonight, however, for now I will simply say that you have been under the constant care of our most skilled healers."

"Does time pass at the same rate here?" I whispered curiously as we approached the double doors that given the deafening din I could hear coming from the other side, I assumed housed the feast.

Thor nodded to me, and held me back as Sif and the Warriors Three entered the hall before us and the doors shut behind them.

"Do I have to bow when I meet your father?" I asked nervously.

"You are not required to do so, no, as you are now considered immediate family," Thor told me. "However, if you would feel more comfortable doing so the first time…"

He trailed off and simply showed me a suitable gesture, and nodded his head when I repeated it. I looked nervously at the guards, though saw that they remained blank faced which reminded me of oh so many movies and TV show scenes with Buckingham Palace guards. Leaning in to Thor again, I said, "please tell me they are not allowed to laugh."

"I don't see why they would," Thor said. Then catching the mischievous look on my face he said, "I really don't know if I should be more concerned about you and Sif or you and Darcy, but I shall remind you this once that these guards are here to keep us all safe, and you in particular as a member of the royal family."

"You forgot about me and Natasha," I supplied helpfully through a laugh.

One of the guards cleared his throat, and I immediately straightened up and felt my nerves come slamming home once more. The doors were pulled open in front of us, and Thor squeezed my hand reassuringly in his and we walked forward together. The tables nearest to us noticed us first and all conversation stopped, the hush quickly spreading through the room. For his part, Thor kept his pace and body language casual, striding at a comfortable place to the ornate table at the front of the hall and waving from time to time. For my part, I just tried not to gape as I looked around and clutched Thor's hand in a death grip.

"Father," Thor announced loudly. "This is my mate, Lady Stephanie. My Lady, this is Odin, the All-Father and my father."

Somehow the tiny corner of my brain that was graceful took over and I executed the move that Thor had shown me swiftly and properly. I was pleased that I had chosen to do so, as I saw a look of charmed surprise cross Odin's face. Other than only having us seated on one side facing the entirety of the hall, and being perpendicular to the rest of the tables, our table was set up much in the same manner as the rest. It was practically groaning under the weight of plenty of food, and Odin quickly gestured to it and said, "we are pleased that Thor has found you at last; please join us as we revel in your arrival!"

Thor guided me into a seat two down from Odin before taking his place between us. Immediately, I turned the the large man sitting on my other side and stuck out my hand saying, "hi, I'm Steph. It's nice to meet you."

The man looked at me in surprise, but took my hand and shook it just like a Midgardian before saying, "I am Heimdall, and I am the gatekeeper of Asgard. It is a pleasure to finally meet you."

Thor leaned over in front of me to offer Heimdall a greeting and told me, "Heimdall controls the bifrost bridge, which is what we use to travel between realms. He can also see and hear all who live and travel in the Nine Realms."

"Some years ago, Lady Frigga came to me and helped me find you. She asked me to keep an eye on you, and I must say, My Lady, you proved an interesting charge. It was difficult at times to find ways to intervene and save your life without revealing myself."

I looked at him wide eyed and blurted out, "could you not have also saved my cars?"

At that Heimdall threw his head back and burst out laughing. "Nay, I could not," he finally said, and a look over at Thor showed that he was greatly amused by my question, though he also looked surprised to find that Heimdall had been watching me for so long.

"I must thank you for helping my mate survive until I could meet her," Thor told him gravely.

After my conversation with Heimdall, I managed to relax, and happily noted that he followed with Thor and I for a short time when we moved over to the table with Sif and the Warriors Three before leaving to return to his post.

As the feast wore on, I could see why they called it that. It seemed the drink and food were supplied to us in endless quantities, though Thor appeared to be carefully tracking what and how much I consumed. Perhaps most surprising to me were Volstagg's wife and children.

Volstagg was a loud, boisterous fellow, and the first time he threw his empty mug and called for another drink I was shocked enough to jump and make a small shrieking sound (much to the rest of my company's amusement).

It was clear, however, that this was a man who dearly loved his wife and children and, despite his size, was clearly careful to treat them with the utmost care. Apparently Thor, Sif, and the rest of the Warriors Three were around the children enough that they were extremely comfortable with them. In fact, Thor happily played with the eldest children when at various times they would attempt to mount an attack on him. And at one point when he wanted to dance with his wife, Volstagg happily passed their young baby off to Thor with a wink to me over his head.

Thor confidently took the infant and nestled her against his chestplate comfortably, all while continuing the story he was telling animatedly. I got myself a little bit lost in watching him hold the baby, and I wasn't sure how long it took for Sif to lean over, press her hand to my arm to get my attention, and whisper to me, "Volstagg and his wife are happily mated as well."

When I looked at her, she just winked at me before asking Thor to go and retrieve something for me that I hadn't even asked for. In response, Thor simply stood and unceremoniously transferred the baby into my possession. I sat there staring down at the little infant for a moment, surprised at how light she felt and we blinked at each other in surprise.

As soon as she opened her mouth as though to cry, however, I fell back on my training as an aunt adjusting her to a more comfortable position and whispering to her softly until she settled into sleep. "You're sneaky," I whispered to Sif, not wanting to wake the baby, and she just shrugged and pretended that she had no idea what I was talking about.

Of course, Thor returned quickly, saw that the baby had fallen asleep and got a look on his face that was pure yearning, and I couldn't help but quietly laugh, startling him out of his stupor. He set the glass of I didn't know what it was because I hadn't asked for it in front of me, and I politely took it anyway and sipped what seemed to be some sort of juice from it. I offered to pass the infant back to him, unsure if Volstagg would be happy to find her in my care as I was still virtually a stranger, but he just waved me off saying he didn't want to risk waking her.

And that's how I spent an hour of the night leaning comfortably against Thor, breathing in the sweet scent of the newborn that seemed to be a constant between worlds, and deciding to fully embrace my new life. Figuring the best way to get an honest reaction out of Thor was to take him by surprise, I rolled my head back on his shoulder so I could look up at him and waited for him to bend down so that his head was right next to my lips. Ever so quietly I whispered, "I vote we skip the elixir and see what happens." Thor's arm that was supporting me around my waist tightened as he beamed down at me happily, and I had my answer without him saying a word.

Eventually, the children were whisked away for the night with Volstagg and his wife both thanking me profusely for watching over their youngest daughter as though it was some hardship when it actually wasn't. We stayed and celebrated with the rest of the crowd into the early morning hours until Thor caught me drifting to sleep against him. Taking that as the hint it accidentally was, Thor helped me to my feet and we made the rounds saying goodnight to many well wishers on our way out of the hall, saving Odin for last.

"Tomorrow night, I will hold a handfasting ceremony for you," he told us. "Though you are mated, it is only proper to do so."

Thor looked at me nervously, but I just shrugged and said, "that's fine with me, the mating is more permanent anyway, right? And I have no doubts."

That caused another a pleased smile to break out on Thor's face, and I was glad I had made that decision so quickly for him. Truthfully, he looked so happy when he grinned in that way that all I wanted to do was spend my time with him trying to make him do it over and over again.

I flushed when matching chuckles from father and son made me realize I'd spoken out loud, and Odin just dismissed my embarrassment saying, "it is a good thing to want happiness for one another; I could not ask for anything more from my son's mate and wife."

Walking back to our rooms, I leaned on Thor heavily and allowed myself to drift a little, trusting him to steer me right. Eventually he must have looked down and realized what I was doing because he just easily swung me up into his arms and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

The next thing I knew the sun was shining into our bedroom, and I could hear the sound of voices coming from the direction of the antechamber. Reaching over, I could tell that Thor's side of the bed was still warm and he hadn't been gone long. I vaguely remembered drifting in and out earlier in the morning, feeling him softly stroking my hair while holding me against his chest, so I assumed that if he was out of bed then it was past time I was as well.

Sitting up, I saw a robe of sorts on a chair next to my side of the bed as well as some slippers, and quickly dressed myself in them. I took care of business then carefully walked down the hall, not really sure what the proper etiquette was here. Thor and I may be bonded, but we still had a lot of learning to do about each other.

Any concerns I had about whether I'd be in Thor's way depending on what was going on in the antechamber disappeared when he caught sight of me. His face lit up once more in happiness, and I felt a pure blast of love through the bond directed at me.

"There she is!" he hollered happily, rushing over for a kiss before settling me down at the table in front of a large plate of food. At first I thought it was his plate, but he had one of his own, as did Sif and each of the Warriors Three, so there was no doubt the plate was intended for me.

"Did you know I was awake?" I asked.

"You are quite loud when you walk," Sif said honestly. "And we have very good hearing."

"Huh," I said. Then looking around the table I said, "please tell me that something here resembles coffee? I do not like morning."

"Then you're in luck," Fandral told me with a wink. "For it is past noon already and you have skipped the morning entirely."

Hogun, however reached over and poured me something out of a teapot. When I wrinkled my nose a little he simply said, "we do not have Midgardian coffee here, though I've no doubt you have someone you could convince of the virtues of dedicating farmland here to growing it. This, however, should do the trick. Worry not, it is from my Vanaheim and unlike any tea you find on Midgard."

I took a sip finding the drink to be at once sweet and potent in a way that had me thinking, "coffee, what coffee?" within mere moments of first tasting it. I smiled widely at Hogun and offered my thanks, which he simply nodded at me to accept. Hogun was definitely the quiet one of the group. Or maybe quietest was a better way to describe him because none of them were quiet.

While we were eating and chatting idly, a group of women walked into the room and down the hallway to our bedroom.

"The healers will see you at the same time the seamstresses take your measurements," Thor told me. "When you're done, come out and help us finish up our plans. Then I believe Sif has some activities planned for you and her to get to know each other today before you must prepare for the handfasting ceremony."

"Right that," I said remembering Odin's decree the night before. "Any chance that's going to be a family and close friends thing?" I asked indicating around the table.

"Unfortunately, it will be an all of Asgard who wishes to attend thing," Sif told me with an apologetic smile. "It is not every day a prince is wed."

She stood and indicated for me to do the same as I was done eating and guided me back down the hallway to the bedroom. Inside we found a group of women clustered around a table that hadn't been there before and looked much more comfortable than any doctor's office table I had been on before.

"Should my robe be on or off?" I whispered to Sif.

"On will be suitable," she reassured me.

Letting out a sigh of relief I climbed onto the table and laid back, a little unnerved by the fact that the women brought over some machinery and started working without saying anything to me. As they worked, what looked like a low-resolution glowing, gold image of me appeared in the air above me. They moved pieces of it around and manipulated it seemingly without reason from what I could tell, though I did assume they knew what they were doing.

After that was done, they had me sit up and did a series of tests and such under Sif's watchful eye (and Thor's when he walked in partway through) that did remind me a little of a doctor's visit.

When it seemed that they were done, Thor guided me over to the couch and we sat there waiting until everyone but the head medic and Sif had left.

"So?" I finally asked. "What's up?"

The medic smiled at my phrasing but said, "Because you are Midgardian, and would normally have had a much shorter lifespan than Prince Thor, the magics of the Fates have seen to it to change your physiology to match that of an Asgardian."

"I'm Asgardian now?" I asked.

"Well, no, not precisely," she explained. "You were still born and raised on Midgard, so you are Midgardian. Your circulatory, reproductive, digestive, and such systems remain unchanged in mechanism. However your senses, strength, tissue density, stamina, metabolism, healing, and longevity all appear to have become closer to those of an Asgardian now. I do not know if the changes have completed or if they will continue over the course of the next few days now that you are awake. Of course, those qualities all vary by Asgardian and training, for instance your mate is much stronger than most any Asgardian, so you should not expect to find yourself as strong as he is. But you will find yourself changed in many ways and discover the extent of those changes with time."

"I'm going to live to be thousands of years old?" I asked her, aware of how small I sounded. "But everyone I know and love will die, probably within the next seventy or eighty."

"Surely not everyone," Sif reasoned.

And I looked between her and Thor apologetically as I corrected myself and said, "no, you're right, not everyone. Sorry. I was thinking of my family, my nieces."

Before I could drift too far down that rabbit hole, Thor asked the healer, "is there anything else?"

"It is odd, for I see no need for it on Fate's end. But there is a hint of something in her, it reminds me almost of your mother's soul," the woman informed him gently. "I do not think she will possess the depths of Frigga's powers, but I suspect your mother may have found a way to leave one or two of her abilities to your mate. They usually take time to manifest, so vigilant. Only time will tell. It may be nothing at all."

Thor smiled at me then held his arm out to guide the woman to the door. I watched as she pressed a small vial into his hands without comment, but when he looked at me I shook my head, and he happily passed it back to the surprised woman.

"Come now," Sif told me. "It is time to finish making plans with the men before we begin your training."

"Is that what we're doing today?" I asked sounding relieved.

"Why yes," Sif informed me. "What did you think we would do?"

"Honestly I had visions of something awful like etiquette lessons."

Sif's nose wrinkled even as she laughed, "believe me, if they were to try to foist those on you, which I don't think they will as Thor has already adamantly labeled you a warrior, they would not pair you with me for such an activity. Haven't you heard? I'm a severe disappointment to my gender."

"Ah, that must be why fate paired us up," I said. "My mother has always told me the same."

With Sif's help, I quickly dressed myself in a less fancy version of the garments I'd worn the night before, complete with the armor pieces. Studying her I asked, "why don't I get pants?"

"You won't need them today, so I thought perhaps we'd wait to shock all of Asgard completely until another day." Then she smirked and added, "and maybe I'll make you earn them first."


	7. Making it Legal

**A/N:** More smut this chapter… And it flirts with the edges of some slightly less vanilla things… Mainly it is mildly voyeuristic, they can be heard but not seen. If that makes you want to skip, feel free to comment and I'll get back to you with a cliff notes version of the happenings from this chapter!

 **Chapter 07 - Making It Legal**

Once I was dressed, Sif and I walked quickly out to where the men were gathered. Each of the Warriors Three looked at me cautiously, and I shrugged and said, "I take it you heard then?" When they nodded I tried to lighten the tone with a, "then you know you're stuck with me for a couple millenia. Sorry!"

"It is we who should apologize," Volstagg argued. "For you are stuck with Thor for much longer than you may have bargained."

Looking at Thor I smiled and pushed love through our bond as I said, "I think I got the better end of that deal. Now, what are we planning?"

"As we mentioned, you were unconscious for a fortnight," Thor said. "And I know your friends, and family, including my teammates and your other soul siblings, will be very concerned for your wellbeing. I thought perhaps we might vacation there after the ceremony. Although the Avengers are more than capable warriors themselves, it is traditional that we bring with us a royal guard. I have spoken to All-Father and he has agreed to allow Lady Sif and the Warriors Three to accompany us between realms, though we will make frequent trips back here, and Volstagg will return periodically on his own for visits with his family during our longer stretches on Midgard."

"If it suits you of course, My Lady," Fandral added, raising a brow in question.

"I'd love to have you with us, but I can't take you away from your homes for so long," I said.

"We are warriors, Lady Stephanie," Volstagg reminded me. "We are bound to do the All Father's bidding and would likely be away from the home the majority of the time anyway. Heimdall will call to us and bring us back if any of our family have a need. And we will come back here for holidays, and all the times that you and Thor have need to return. In truth it is a favorable post for us, and you would be doing us a great service to allow us to accept it."

I studied the warrior carefully and saw nothing but truth in his gaze. Looking between Hogun, Fandral, and Sif, I saw the same eagerness on their faces. Lastly I looked over at Thor, whose determination and pleading I could feel over our bond as well as read in his eyes. Nodding my head I said, "well, if that's what you want, but you'll let Thor or I know if that changes!"

A cheer went up and I found myself being passed around for boisterous hugs. I assumed at some point I would get used to wearing armor and having it smashed up against other armor, but for the time being it was quite disconcerting to experience.

When I was set down on my feet, Sif loudly clapped her hands to get everyone to quiet down and said, "now, I believe the men have some hunting to do for tonight's feast, while Lady Stephanie and I will begin her training. Lady Stephanie, where is your sword?"

I merely thought of it and, much as Thor had postulated, the sword materialized in my grip suddenly. After glancing down at it, I looked back and Sif and smiled and said, "right here, apparently. Now, can we agree that you all just call me Steph? At least when it's just us? And definitely when we're on Midgard."

"All we needed was your permission, Steph," Sif responded with a smile.

My afternoon spent training with Sif was one spent mostly with fun jesting and laughter. At one point, I also got to see first-hand my new regenerative healing abilities, and I had to admit that it was quite handy… especially if I had a sword that could just appear out of thin air if I needed it. Though she threatened to force me to work out, Sif spared me on that day because of the impending ceremony.

Much to my delight, Sif kept me occupied until only an hour before the ceremony was to begin. By the time we both bathed and Sif helped me into a much more intricate dress than any I'd yet to see, there was hardly any time to stress. Sif had a shinier, more ceremonial version of her armor to wear, and I laughed at the contrast we made as I wasn't to wear even my piecemeal armor bits on that night.

Although the wording was slightly different, the handfasting ceremony was nearly identical in most ways to a Midgardian wedding. Though instead of vowing to love each other "until death do us part," we vowed ourselves to each other "for all of eternity." I was relieved to find that there was little ritual involved other than standing and listening to Odin and repeating our vows because there was pretty much no opportunity to embarrass myself by not standing when I needed to stand or sitting when I needed to sit like some religious weddings back on good old Earth.

Of course, what I was not expecting was to be rushed right out of the ceremony hall and back to the our bedroom as soon as the ceremony was complete.

The Warriors Three and Sif were in the antechamber with the doors on both ends of the hallway leading between it and our bedroom open. They were laughing loudly and boisterously telling stories amongst themselves, but they _were_ there.

"Thor," I hissed when he started undressing me. "They are right outside, and they can hear us!"

"Given how poor the soundproofing is on Midgard, it won't be the last time," Thor reasoned.

I gaped at him like a fish, and reiterated, "but they can hear us!"

"It is by special dispensation that it is such a small number here to witness the consummation of our union and that they are in the antechamber and not here with us," he told me.

"Seriously?!" I whispered. "This stopped being a thing on Midgard ages ago, how are you still doing it here if Asgard is so much more advanced?"

Thor shrugged and said, "Midgard is quite repressed about the joining of two people, even mates. We do not see it as something to hide or of which to be ashamed. Being allowed to witness the joining of a mated pair is of particularly high honor."

I stared at him as he moved around, completlly undressing me. "I'm not getting out of this, am I."

"If it truly bothers you, I will see if I can get them to lie to the All-Father for us, and it would hardly be the first time. But I truly don't see the problem here. It is tradition. I did the same for Volstagg on his wedding day, and they have served as witnesses at many a consummation before ours. It is hardly something that should cause you embarrassment. We are not only wed, but mated. Do you not remember how we got that way? I assure you they already know."

When Thor started stripping himself, and I got a glimpse of that body I hadn't gotten to touch intimately in over two weeks (who cared if I'd been unconscious for most of the time, it still counted! A woman had needs), I began to waiver.

"And they'll stay in the antechamber," I clarified.

"Aye," Thor told me, smirk coming out on his face.

"And they'll never speak of it ever again?" this I yelled out.

"Aye," Thor confirmed, laughing when the four in the other room called out their responses as well.

"Fine, but I'm being quiet," I whispered.

"Sure, My Love," Thor said, arrogant smile on his face.

I thought to protest the assertion that he could make me be noisy under these circumstances, but as soon as he pulled me into him for a passionate kiss, I knew he had a point. Reaching down, he picked me up so that I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carried me the few steps to the bed, following me all the way down.

This time was different than when we completed our bond, and I realized it was because Thor was more confident in the fact that he wouldn't hurt me now that my body had adapted. His grip was more firm as he grabbed my legs to tug them apart so he could pull away from me.

As soon as he was free, he started moving down my body. Lips drifting along my skin, he said, "do you have any idea what it has done to me to have tasted the heaven of your body then spend so many nights next to you, holding you, but unable to take you?"

Without giving me time to answer, he fastened his mouth on my clit and lapped at it with his tongue while sliding the first finger into my body, testing my wetness. Obviously, he appreciated the state he found me in because he groaned, which vibrated against me and immediately pushed me much closer to my crest. He slid down a little further and pushed his tongue in alongside his finger instead of adding another immediately, and I whimpered at the feeling.

Where the finger was hard and unyielding, pressing against my g-spot constantly, his tongue filled the space around it with a little more give, wiggling and wagging in its own unique manner. Combined they caused sensation overload and I was crying out as the first orgasm took me mere moments after we'd begun.

Satisfied, Thor ran his mouth back up my body and waited until his mouth was right next to my ear to shove a second finger into me at the same time he whispered, "I thought you were going to be quiet?"

I tried to hold back the cry when his fingers brought me up and over the next peak, but even biting down on my own arm didn't seem to muffle the sound much. Panting, I looked at Thor in disbelief when he didn't let up at all, choosing instead to increase his pace and add a third finger to the mix.

"Thor, too much," I whispered. "I don't think I can."

"Stephanie," he replied patiently, "Your stamina and recovery are vastly improved now."

I groaned shamelessly when my body began to realize how right he was, and Thor just grinned at me. He pulled his fingers out and flipped me over so I was on my knees before pressing into me from behind. "That's right, Love. I don't want you to be quiet. I want the whole _realm_ to hear what I do to you and what you do to me." His mouth fastened to the curve of my neck and bit down none too gently as he increased the pace. "So good, so soft, so wet for me."

I reached a tentative hand forward so that I could brace myself on the headboard instead of having my hands down below me and used the leverage to push back into him harder. The first time I did, Thor let out a groan and I felt a thrill run through me at the thought of the others knowing I did that to him.

Thor obviously felt the increased arousal through our bond, and chose to reward me with another moan, this one sounding even more satisfied. I tightened around him reflexively and he stopped his movement to try to gain control, so I wiggled against him, egging him on.

Thor's head collapsed down against the back of my neck as he panted and tried to catch his breath. When I repeated the motion, he cursed under his breath and his hands tightened immediately on my hips, forcing me to still.

"That's how you want to play it?" he asked from behind me, growling when I tried to move against him some more.

In response, he pulled out of me and quickly flipped me over once more. When I was dazed and trying to catch my breath from the abrupt motion, he lifted my lower half off the bed and slid into me, holding me up. With just my shoulders and head in contact with the mattress, I had no real leverage or ability to move.

The angle was also such that he rubbed against my g-spot. The first time he withdrew and pushed in, hitting that spot again, I whimpered. My eyes flew up to his, and I saw realization dawn on his face as he took in the angle he had me at and discovered what he must have done. The smile I received then was completely carnal, and the feeling I got through the bond made me feel almost hunted.

I expected him in that moment to start pounding away at me, making me lose control. Instead, he repeated the action slowly, watching my face carefully. He tried a few different motions and when he found the one that gave him the result he found most satisfying, he nodded his head. Then he took up that one angle with the upward hip roll. It was all he would do, but he kept the pace infuriatingly slow.

At first, I started sweating and moaning slightly, but when he just kept at it, I eventually broke begging him for harder, faster, anything just to get me back over that elusive peak. When I reached the point where I was only vaguely aware that I was babbling incoherently, he finally picked up the pace and intensity of his thrusts. Maybe a dozen more and I was screaming, crashing over the edge and crying with relief when he brought his body down on top of me, finding his own relief just a few strokes later.

I basked in the afterglow, uncaring of Thor's weight on top of me for several minutes, slowly floating from the rafters back down into my body. My heart was still racing, but I managed to whisper, "I don't know about you, but I don't think they heard that."

Thor let out a surprised bark of laughter before rolling over and taking me with him so that I was draped across him as it turned into a full belly laugh filled with joy. He pulled a blanket up over me to offer me some modesty as the four people in question strolled into the room.

Thor was petting my hair gently, and I was too blissed out to even lift my head as I half-heartedly protested, "I thought they weren't coming in here."

"Did you hear them walk in?" Thor froze as he asked carefully.

"Yeah, so what?"

"We were being quiet, Steph," Sif told me. Then she added, "And there's no need for modesty now. Not to mention I've already seen you naked."

"You have, but the Warriors Three haven't," I protested. "And this isn't never speaking of it again!"

Thor chuckled some more, and Volstagg diplomatically said, "right, we will go report to Odin and meet you at the bifrost in one hour?"

This had me picking up my head in interest finally. I looked up at Thor who was looking way too smug and asked, "we're leaving tonight?"

He nodded his head to me, and I noted the sound of the others leaving as I asked, "bath first?"

"In a moment, Dear Wife," Thor said as he rolled me over once more, and I suddenly realized that he was still inside me and hadn't really softened much at all. Or maybe he had when I was distracted but was already rebounding.

He waited until we heard the door out of our rooms and into the hallway shut, and then he started moving. We didn't have much time to kill, and Thor clearly understood that because he set a brutal pace. His mouth fixed to mine, and for the first time I heard his voice in my head through our bond instead of just emotion. The words and the sentiment matched however as he told me, "I love you, Stephanie."

It was enough to send me flying over the cliff again, and I wasn't even sure if I managed to reciprocate the sentiment I was so far gone. Just in case, I poured everything I had into the kiss, hoping that alone was enough to make Thor know that the feeling was mutual. I stayed wrapped around Thor, not really understanding why I was suddenly unwilling to let go as we caught our breath again.

Once he'd recovered enough, Thor stood and held me close whispering soothingly as he turned on the taps to our decadently large bathtub that I'd yet to get to enjoy. When it filled, which was done impressively quickly, he settled us in carefully and allowed me to cling for several minutes before he pulled away enough that he could start cleaning us up.

It wasn't until he pressed a kiss to my temple then more over my eyes that that I realized I was crying softly. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "That was just so... And I don't understand why I don't want to let you go. And I could hear you in my head!"

Collapsing back against his chest while he lathered up my hair, I enjoyed the rumble in his chest as he replied, "is it not so that Midgardian soulmates have a lengthy bonding time after they initially form the connection?"

I thought about that, and honestly it wasn't something I'd paid much attention to as a Blank. I was woman enough to admit that was partially because I was bitter about knowing I would never get to experience it. Still, I thought of the bonded couples I knew and nodded into Thor's shoulder, "I guess you're right. But we bonded weeks ago."

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you," Thor told me. "The healer informed me that she thought the bonding and your changes might not be complete. That it was put on hold when you slipped into your slumber to begin the most important, internal parts of your transformation but that when we renewed the bond, it would restart. She also thought when it restarted, it would possibly be more intense than the bonding periods most experience because it had been halted so abruptly the first time."

"Oh," I said lamely. Then I recalled having heard something to that effect from the healer and Sif had mentioned it to me again earlier in the day and said, "actually, Sif warned me of that, as well, so she must have realized I didn't completely understand when the Healer tell us. I just didn't realize it would be so much."

"Nor did I," Thor confessed gently easing me back to dunk my hair in the water. "Though as I know no others who can speak through their bonds, I suspect ours may be unusually strong."

"I like it," I whispered.

"Me too," Thor told me, offering me a smile and a bar of soap when I didn't immediately cling back to him. "But if we don't meet the others in the bifrost chambers on time, they will come back for us. And they truly do not possess the same modesty you do after hundreds of years fighting together and sharing tight living quarters as is often necessary in war."

"Right," I said.

"And the sooner we're done and dressed, the sooner I can hold you again?" Thor tried. Then he sweetened the deal adding. "We were going to take horses to the bifrost chamber, but we can fly, if you'd rather."

That was enough to get me moving, much to Thor's amusement. After we dried off, I started to walk to the closet, but Thor just pointed me toward where my Rangeman uniform and weapons were still waiting.

As I climbed into the clothes and started strapping everything on, I asked Thor, "I'm going to have to be armed like this every time I come back now to prove it wasn't just an act, aren't I?"

"Stephanie," Thor said urgently. "I heard all those stories from your fellow warriors, and if anything Midgard has become a more dangerous place for you now that you are my mate. Regardless of your ability to heal, you can still be killed. I'm going to insist that you take measures to protect yourself when we are not in Asgard under the King's protection, though I would feel better if you were armed at all times even when we were here."

Walking up to him, I slid my arms around his neck and climbed up him a little for a kiss before saying in a husky voice, "not at _all_ times."

"Anytime on Asgard that you are not by my side," Thor capitulated.

When he set me on the ground again, I walked over and sat on the couch to lace up my boots and said, "so that's a yes."

"It's a 'yes, please,' because I love you and have hopes of having you by my side for at least another three thousand years," he said, kneeling before me as he patiently waited for me to finish.

I couldn't stop the sappy grin that spread across my face at that, so I quickly finished with my boots, stashed all the weapons on me once more, and pulled on the horrible bulletproof vest. When Thor presented me with a beautiful sheath for my sword, I happily accepted it and then awkwardly affixed it to my back. I could only hope it would become more comfortable with time.

Satisfied that I had everything, Thor opened his arms and I wasted no time jumping into them and latching onto him once more. He called Mjolnir to one hand and used the other to brace me securely against him.

I expected him to walk out onto the balcony, but instead he stood there waiting as the hall doors opened and, with the sound of more metal-clad guards following him, Odin stepped into our rooms. When I started to let go, Thor pulled me tighter to him and shook his head, so I relaxed back onto him.

"Thank you for the ceremony, and for granting us this time on Midgard," Thor said formally, pausing for me to echo the sentiment.

"I am glad for you both," Odin said. "And I am pleased that, in time, I will be able to pass the throne onto my son after all. A hundred years is but a short time to wait after all the ages that have already passed."

I became a little more alert and honed into the conversation at that, but Thor just informed me through the bond that we would discuss it later and nothing was set in stone or incapable of being undone if we that's what we decided.

"We will check in regularly," Thor said. "And if you need us, we will return with great haste."

"Be well my son, my dottir," Odin said magnanimously.

Thor bowed his head then turned, swinging Mjolnir in his hands and flung us out the open balcony doors and over the railing. I giggled in delight once more and found a way to burrow into Thor more deeply not even looking around this time, just enjoying the sensation of flying. Much too soon for my taste, Thor set down and I regretfully released him to stand on my own two feet.

"Heimdall," I greeted, offering a hug much to the guard's surprise.

"Lady Stephanie, congratulations on your strengthening bond and your new husband. I was sorry I could not be there for the ceremony, but I am needed here more often than not," he told me once I'd stepped back.

"We understand, Heimdall," Thor said him, offering Heimdall an arm clasp that turned into a back-smacking man hug. "Take care of yourself and Asgard while we are away, and we shall call on you when we need you."

Heimdall nodded and focused once more on me instructing, "even if you are not with the others, I am at your command. If you need me, call for me, My Lady."

I nodded solemnly and promised him that I would before walking over to our four travel companions. Thor followed behind and grabbed my hand firmly.

"How does this-" I cut off as _something_ grabbed onto my entire being and in a flash of light I was flying through space, clinging desperately to Thor's hand to make me feel safe.


	8. Back on Midgard

**Chapter 08 - Back on Midgard**

As suddenly as the ground had been ripped away from me, it came rushing back up under my feet. If not for Thor, I would have hit the ground hard when my legs buckled on contact. That made it suddenly clear to me why it was that Sif and the Warriors Three chose to be kneeling at the start of this particular method of transportation. Thankfully though, I had Thor who was prepared for it and simply swept me off my feet and back up into his arms.

When the light cleared, I was left blinking out over the field and getting my first actually good look at the Avengers training facility. Standing there waiting for us were Steve and Natasha, both looking like they'd just stumbled out of bed, which given how late it was and the fact that they didn't know when we'd be back seemed reasonable.

Still, they were all smiles, until, that is, they set eyes on our traveling companions. Seeing the panic in their eyes as they started sliding forward, unable to stop it, I called out, "relax, it's fine!"

Of course, they didn't listen, but Fate wouldn't be denied and Steve ended up with his hand clasped with Volstagg's while Natasha ended up clasping hands with Sif. I smiled up at Thor as we watched, and gave him an extra little hug of excitement where my arms had migrated around his neck.

If our two circles of friends were also going to be good friends, it would certainly make traveling between the realms much easier to bear. When they'd finished exchanging names and the rest of the introductions were complete, we started walking toward the compound. Well, everyone was walking except me. Thor hadn't put me back down after keeping me from falling and I was perfectly alright with that.

"So what's going on here?" Natasha asked not unkindly, gesturing at Thor and I.

"We're bonding," I told her, nuzzling in a little more.

"Still?" Steve asked, clearly surprised.

"Again," I told him.

When they looked confused, Thor explained while I pressed my ear to his chest enjoying the sound of his heart steadily beating mixed in with his voice rumbling.

"Ah, well, then the good news for everyone is that we've doubled up on the soundproofing in your bedroom," Natasha said with a smirk.

"I'll get your guests settled into some rooms for the night," Steve told us. "We can work on opening up some more of the Avengers rooms for them tomorrow. You two just go do whatever you need to do, and we'll see you in the morning."

"They think we're weird," I whispered to Thor as he quickly strode away with me. "But I guess we are."

"Well, there is no other pair like ours," Thor agreed as he set me on my feet in his, or actually our, suite. "We are at the very least unique."

We'd just finished cleaning up what was really probably less than thirty minutes before, so I didn't need anything and the bed was looking mighty comfortable. Deciding that was exactly the thing to do, I started peeling of armor and weapons followed immediately by clothes. Once I was down to a shirt and panties, I climbed up onto the foot of the bed and started crawling forward.

Behind me, Thor made a noise that had me whipping my head around to look at him. His eyes had darkened with want, and it kindled a little bit of a flame inside me I'd thought was burned out for the night.

"Another time, perhaps," Thor told me, much more graciously than I was sure he was feeling.

In response, I wiggled my hips at him, laughing when he growled and charged the bed, grabbing and maneuvering me such that he could quickly strip away the rest of my clothes. Needless to say, we spent the next couple hours testing out the new soundproofing before I sprawled over Thor in exhaustion to sleep.

When I awoke, I was alone, and I had the impression Thor had been gone for a while. Feeling lazy, I rolled over and went back to sleep for another stretch before getting up.

An inspection of our bathroom found all of my usual brands of products tucked away in the appropriate places, but always with a much more luxurious brand placed politely in front of it. I took my time showering and taming my hair but quickly realized I was famished.

Looking in the closet and drawers, it became apparent that only a few of my clothes from Trenton had been retrieved. Instead more seemed to have been purchased for me, and here again I was finding nicer things than I could afford on my own.

Most of the time I'd been at this base so far was either spent having sex or in a coma, so I had no idea what to do about my hunger. That being said, I was fairly certain food wouldn't be difficult to find if I just poked around a little.

As I approached the bedroom door, I tripped over a hard, metallic object and cursed under my breath. Reaching down, I checked to make sure my toe was still attached and hadn't been smashed into a paste or something. Satisfied that all my pieces were fine, I grabbed the offending object and strode a little bit grumpily out of the bedroom then the suite.

The suite itself opened into a larger shared living space, it seemed, and one filled with Avengers and affiliates. As soon as I entered, conversation ground to a halt. Everyone was looking at me with wide eyed surprise except Thor and Vision who were grinning broadly.

Walking up to Thor, I dropped Mjolnir on the table in front of him and exclaimed, "we have got to find an actual place for this other than the floor. I tripped over it and it _hurt_!" Eyes immediately filled with concern, Thor started looking over me for injuries. With a harrumph I said, "I jammed my big toe, but it's fine. Just not how I would have chosen to start the day."

Thor murmured an apology, and everyone else was still just gaping at me.

"What did I do? I just took a shower and looked in the mirror so I'm pretty sure I don't have a huge zit or something." I paused and cringed as it hit me, "I shouldn't have touched the hammer. That's your thing, sorry!"

"If you can lift it, then you are worthy to do with it what you will," Thor reassured me. "And you may store it wherever you'd like. Though know that if I call it, whatever is between it and me will pay the price."

Mentally replaying its previous location I asked, "you had it set up so it could go through the door or the window easily, didn't you?"

Thor nodded his head, so I sighed and picked it up once more to take back into our room and put it were I'd found it. We were going to need to do some furniture rearranging and maybe get it it's own table to avoid a repeat of my earlier accident.

And then I realized I was playing house. Weird.

When I returned, everyone was still staring at me and I finally blurted out an exasperated, "okay, what?!"

"The hammer is enchanted so that only the worthy may lift it," Vision explained. "So far, other than Thor, only you and I have been able to do so, and they believe I do not count because I am more machine than man."

"One must be worthy in order to lift it," Thor repeated.

At the same time Thor was talking, Steve was arguing, "if you put it in an elevator, the elevator would still go up. Elevator's not worthy. That's all I'm saying, Vision. It's nothing against you."

"None of you?" I asked looking around in surprise. "Not even _Captain_ _America_?"

There was something in the way that Steve looked at Thor before he shook his head that made me curious, but I decided to let it go for the time being.

"How'd you do it?" Clint asked, bouncing on his heels from where he was squatting on one of the couches.

Shrugging I simply explained, "I just reached down and picked it up with one hand; it isn't heavy or anything."

No one really knew what to say to that, so a silence stretched on until Darcy asked me, "so, how's space?"

"Space is," I paused trying to decide how to answer before settling on "good".

"You're fucking with me right now?!" She screeched.

Thor was full on laughing at that point, but when he stopped he informed Darcy, "I didn't tell her to say that; I promise on my honor."

"What'd I say?" I couldn't help but laugh as Darcy attacked Thor, and it reminded me a little of Volstagg's children staging their attacks on him during the feast. He was exceedingly gentle as he fended her off, but let her get a few licks in to feel like she'd done a good job.

"When I came back from my longest trip away from Midgard, Darcy asked me that question, and I gave her the same answer," Thor explained. "She wants more details than that."

"Well, I mean, it's not like I was there very long," I retorted.

"What are you talking about?" Darcy asked, stopping her assault to stare at me. "You've been gone over two weeks."

"Right," I said uncomfortably. I searched my mind for Thor, asking him how much I should tell. Before I had to answer, my stomach growled. Thor stood and set Darcy away before coming over to me and offering me a quick kiss.

"Let's feed you," he said diplomatically. "Then you can tell them as much or as little as you want. I trust all who are here with my own secrets, and I would yours as well if you are comfortable. But you did just meet, and you are not obligated to tell them any more than you feel is right."

We poked around in a small kitchen, and Thor explained to me that there was also a cafeteria I could use. But at present he seemed to want me nearby and in a controlled environment, so I happily pulled a Stouffer's Mac N'Cheese (family size, of course) from the freezer as well as some cookie dough and set about getting them into two of the ovens. Even though the kitchen was somewhat small, it was clear that they fed large groups out of it on occasion. Natasha had been watching, and when I looked at her, she shrugged and said, "You didn't have much food in your apartment, but we saw one of each of those in your freezer, so we figured we'd stock a few until you felt comfortable actually ordering groceries you wanted."

I flushed and muttered, "like I said, I wasn't a great bounty hunter. Food was difficult some months; I'd usually just go mooch off my parents. It meant I had to listen to my mother tell me I was a failure, but it was better than going without."

Thor bristled at the information, but Natasha just nodded as though she expected as much. Though, if she'd gone through my background check to the point of gathering my financial information, she'd have found that my bank account had been dangerously close to red once again.

Timer set, I poured myself a glass of milk to drink while I waited and walked back out to the open common area.

"If you tell me about Asgard," Darcy said, patting the couch next to her. "I will tell you who else matched up with who while you were sleeping off what I presume was some excellent Asgardian loving this morning."

From a glance around the room, I was fairly certain that none of the matches to which Darcy was referring were, in fact, romantic matches. No one else seemed to be newly bonded or fighting the urge to bond, so there must have been some platonic pairings with the Asgardians. I cast one more look at Thor, and he offered me reassurance through our bond.

"So, as you know, I was unconscious when I left here," I said.

"Hold the phone, what?" Darcy spun and shot a death glare between Steve and Bucky.

"Now, Dollface, Thor told us she'd be fine, and we didn't want you to worry," Bucky tried to placate.

"I'll deal with you later, misters!" she warned.

When Darcy turned back to me, I noticed that everyone else was trying to be casual and let Darcy pull the information out of me while keeping me comfortable.

"Interesting interrogation technique," I commented.

"We aren't _interrogating_ ," Clint said. "But we are curious."

"Hmm," I replied noncommittally, but I continued regardless. "Well, I was unconscious for a fortnight."

"You were in a coma for two weeks?" Sam sounded distressed as he asked.

"And under the best healers' care," I reassured the room. "Turns out that Fate didn't think it was fair to pair someone who could easily live to be five thousand years old with someone who would probably be lucky to hope for ninety. So while I was in the coma, it was changing me to even the playing field."

"So it was a magical, medical coma," Darcy stated, seeking reassurance.

Thor gave them the rundown of all the ways in which my body had changed, and I shrugged under their scrutiny, more than aware of the fact that I still looked the same. Hearing a beeping of the timer in the kitchen, I got up and went in, desperate to get out from all the speculative gazes.

Once I pulled the tray out, I took my time removing the cookies and setting some more on the trays. I heard another person follow me, but they stayed quiet and when I finished my task, I leaned against the counter instead of going back into the other room. Sif was patiently waiting for me.

"It is a lot for your comrades to take in," she said.

"They aren't…" I trailed off because I wanted them to be my friends, but I just didn't know them yet. "I met them, and had talked to the group of them for probably about 15 minutes maximum before the thing with Thor happened and we left for Asgard. My friends are back in Trenton, and I'm sure these guys are all nice. I just feel, out of place even though somewhere around half of them are my platonic soulmates."

"Then after you eat, we will journey to this Trenton," Sif announced.

"Have you eaten?" I checked, knowing that the Asgardians put away much more food in one sitting than I'd been capable of achieving so far, even with my heightened metabolism. Though the expectation was that as I finished bonding and my body fully adjusting, I'd catch up.

"Yes, they took us to their hall of food when we awoke. We only returned whilst you were bathing."

Nodding, I decided I could take a few minutes in the kitchen with Sif without it being considered rude, so I smiled at her and took a cookie from the first batch before holding the plate out to her.

"This is delicious!" she said in surprise as she ate the cookie.

"Trust me, I had very little to do with it. They were pre-made, all I did was not burn them," I said, smiling at Darcy and offering her a cookie when she entered the kitchen.

"I'm sorry if I pushed too hard," she told me as she accepted and shoved the entire cooking in her mouth in one go. After a couple of chews, she continued with her mouth half full, "I'm just so excited for you and Thor. I'm really and truly happy for you, but I'll try to respect your boundaries."

"Darcy," I said plainly. "I have a feeling you wouldn't be Darcy if that was true. I'm just struggling with how quickly everything is changing. Not my relationship with Thor, I'm comfortable in that for some crazy reason. But just everything else. It's all at once, and you all seem nice and I know you're my platonics but I feel like I don't know you. I feel like right now it's the Avengers and the Asgardians, and then there's just me, over here, and I don't know where I fit in with either group."

"Well, only one way to fix that," Darcy said shutting off the alarm and pulling out the macaroni and remaining cookies. "You get to know us at whatever pace makes you comfortable, and just tell us if we're overwhelming you. As for the Avengers, well, they may seem like they're intimidating, but they know that. Hell, I've known Natasha over a year and she still scares the crap out of me."

I stifled a laugh as Natasha, who had materialized as if from nowhere in the kitchen said, "good," and caused Darcy to jump and shriek.

I giggled a little, but when Darcy looked at me in betrayal, I said, "Ranger does that to me all the time."

"Ranger," Darcy said slowly. "Is that the guy Thor was working for? Is he your boss?"

I gave the women the abridged version of my history with Ranger as I dished up food for myself, and walked toward the living room feeling lighter this time as I did. Once I settled down with my bowl of food, I tucked myself into Thor's side as I told the room about each of the Merry Men. Anytime I told a story that wound up being mildly embarrassing for myself, someone would reciprocate with a story of their own.

By the end of the meal, I was starting to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin once more. As a heavy silence set in, I looked up at Thor and said, "I need to go back, for at least long enough to make sure they get a new bounty hunter into the bonds office. And I want to see my friends. We can come back after, but you have to let me help you with something. I'll go crazy if I'm stuck in here with nothing to do all day, every day."

The last I directed at Steve, but he nodded in understanding, and everyone else in the room seemed to do so in sync.


	9. Retirement

**Chapter 09 - Retirement**

When the Avengers decided to make you one of their people and you announced your intention to go do something they considered dangerous, well, let's just say there were negotiations. Starting with where we were going to stay.

Bucky had gone to retrieve my clothes and came back with a security review of the apartment that was so horrible Natasha and Clint hadn't believed him. Which then caused them to break in. And then they had a competition over who could break in the fastest that even Captain America had joined in on (and Darcy had somehow won).

Let's just say they made it clear as soon as the words "I need to go back" were out of my mouth and they realized that I was referring to Trenton, that my apartment was not an option. Not that it ever really had been because, as I'd expected, Sif and the Warriors Three were absolutely insistent that they would go with us.

Then the Avengers were equally demanding that they provide their own guards as well, and that's how I ended up with a house with five bedrooms, five bathrooms, and a finished basement that would no doubt end up being an extra barracks-style bedroom as well, on my hands. At no point was it made clear to me whether it was actually being rented or if someone had bought it, but I was reassured that I wasn't personally paying rent on it. It also helped me accept my new reality when I realized nothing I was going to say was going to change it.

I chose to look at the bright side and be pleased with the fact that it had five bathrooms. Hopefully that would prevent the pileup that always happened in the mornings at my parents house. And I was also excited about the fact that it was not in the Burg. It was close, but still technically not in the Burg.

Some days, you took the small wins.

"You command this meta beast most skillfully," Thor loudly praised from his seat next to me in the SUV we'd borrowed from the team to drive down. "You have not struck down one being with it yet."

In the back, Sif and the Warriors Three were all clutching the chicken bars desperately, clearly less used to riding in cars. Or maybe it was the way I wove in and out of traffic, cursing the idiots of the driving world.

"Thanks, Sweetie," I said, blinking in surprise at having used a pet name for him, and at my subconscious choice. A glance of sideways showed the man in question practically preening, so I figured Thor was okay with it. I just needed to decide if I was.

At least it wasn't "cuddle umpkins."

Sif tried to cover her discomfort at being a passenger in my car by telling me about the soulmate matching that Darcy hadn't gotten around to informing me of with all the rest of the planning that had gone on. As it turned out, Darcy and Fandral were soul siblings, which was a disaster of jokes and accidentally offending someone waiting to happen. Hogun and Bucky were now soul brothers, and given their tendency toward brooding, that one made all the sense in the world to me.

Before long, I found myself pulling up to the garage at Rangeman. It was an unscheduled stop, but no one seemed eager to fight me on it. My clicker was still among my possessions, so fobbed my way into the gate.

As I pulled into an empty space, Rangemen started storming out of the staircase, weapons drawn. Everyone in my car started reaching for their weapons, and I screamed, "no! They just don't recognize the car, and I forgot to call to give them a heads up. You will stay here, and let me get out first. They will not hurt me."

I received uneasy nods in response, so I took my weapons belt off and left it on the seat, blowing Thor a kiss when he frowned at the action. Then I carefully, slowly opened the door, sticking my empty hands out first. Feeling pretty confident that no one was going to shoot, I peeked my head out of the door.

"Little Girl!" Tank hollered. "A little warning would be nice."

"I know," I sighed as I got pulled out of the SUV and into a giant hug. "I was excited to see you and it didn't strike me that I should have called first until I saw you all come out like that! I'm used to coming and going as I please!"

I was quickly passed from one muscular grasp to another until I finally smelled the scent of Bulgari and the pair of arms around me held on for just a fraction of a second longer than the previous sets.

"Babe," Ranger set me on my feet.

"Sorry," I muttered. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Babe."

Right, Ranger and his men didn't get scared. Certainly not by a single unexpected vehicle arriving.

"I have some friends in the car, can they come out?" I asked carefully.

"Of course," Ranger responded. "I assume Thor is one of them."

Nodding, I added, "and his friends are a bit _intense_."

I had a feeling Ranger had been expecting Avengers, and only barely managed to keep from gaping when he saw the Asgardians instead. We'd yet to acquire clothes for them, so they were in their Asgardian garb and were quite the sight.

When I looked over at Tank, he was studying me, not the guests.

I tried to raise one brow, raised both instead, and asked, "yes?"

Scratching the back of his head, he said, "I'm confused because you're way heavier, but you still look the same size."

I harrumphed at him and turned my back, catching Thor's twinkling eyes.

"Way to go man," Lester said dryly. "I know you don't get out much, but-"

There was a thunking noise, and when I turned around, Lester was on the ground unconscious, with Tank standing over him and shaking out his fist.

Deciding to lay my cards on the table, I walked toward Lester. I actually wasn't sure if I could do what I intended and looked over to Thor. He quickly gauged the man at my feet, made a pensive face, then nodded his head in agreement. So, with that vote of confidence, I bent down and picked Lester up a little awkwardly before I successfully slung him over my shoulder.

There was silence around me, and I just smiled up at Ranger telling him, "maybe we should take this somewhere more… not a parking garage?"

This time Ranger _was_ gaping, but just nodded for me to lead the way. I reached the staircase knowing there was no way we would all fit in the elevator and was slowly making my way up when Lester awoke.

"Steph? Beautiful?" He asked sounding a little shaky.

"Yeah, Les?" I responded.

"Not that I don't enjoy the view, but are you carrying me?" He queried.

Sighing because I knew he was referring to my ass, I reached the next landing and threw him unceremoniously back over my shoulder and onto the ground.

"You know I'm married to the God of Thunder, right? Do you want to get smited by lightning? Because that is pretty much his favorite trick in the book." Thinking about it, I added, "Actually, I haven't seen it yet, and it might be interesting, so by all means, carry on!"

"Hold up, you're married?" And variations on the question sounded around me, and I winced when the voices sounded hurt. It was like telling the Avengers all over again.

"Well, on Asgard," I said. "We have to figure out a way to get it officially recognized here, I guess. Though Thor doesn't have a birth certificate…"

I trailed off trying to puzzle out how we were going to get that to work, when Thor simply stated, "Captain Rogers has already interceded on our behalf to the President of the United States, and it is handled."

"Huh," was all I could think to say at first. After a moment's hesitation, I pumped my fist and crowed, "Yes! That is how you do a wedding! And when she finds out we're already married, Mother will shit a brick, but it doesn't matter because it's already done and over. Made official my wonderful husband, Captain America, and the President of the United _Fucking_ States without even having to actually _have_ another wedding!"

"You can do that?" Hal wondered over at Thor.

"Yes, I have a certain amount of diplomatic status," Thor told them, and with a smile on his face, he accepted the high five I was giving him before I moved onto my victory dance. "I am loosely titled the Ambassador to Asgard, though that implies diplomatic concerns are my primary duty. On Asgard, I am considered the protector of the Nine Realms, but Midgard holds a special place in my heart. More so now."

At the last, Thor picked up my hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, and I felt myself melting at the combination of the action and the love he was sending at me through the bond.

"Are they always like this?" Ranger asked.

"Aye," our Asgardian friends chorused.

At Ranger's direction, we entered a conference room. Once inside, Thor, true to character, unashamedly explained about our bonding and the events that had transpired since then.

The way that Thor dug into stories made them long, and as he began to finish up, Ranger's phone buzzed. I watched him step outside, and counted out about five minutes before the door opened once more. When it did, he wasn't alone. He was instead accompanied by Bucky, Steve, and Darcy, who were each carrying large bags.

They waved Sif and the Warriors Three over and all left once more, leaving me with Thor, Ranger, and my Merry Men who were looking at my cautiously.

"Only you, Steph," Tank said after a moment from across the table.

I smiled and gave him a finger wave, which caused laughter throughout the room. "Don't think I'm forgetting what you said earlier," I told him.

"But you _did_ get heavier," he argued.

"Never tell a woman that," Darcy said, breezing back in. "Seriously, Dude, it's about the stupidest thing you could do. If I was Steph, I'd have tazed you."

"So would Steph some days," Ranger pointed out.

"Hey! I only stunned Hal because you told _him_ to stun _me_ if I tried to leave!" I cried out, throwing my hands in the air.

"Alright, I've already heard this story more than once," Darcy protested. "And I'm new. Let's get new stories going!"

"Babe," Ranger said sounding pained.

"Maybe later," I told Darcy. "Ranger has some questions and these guys are all supposed to be on shift, so we need to be quick."

Darcy nodded sullenly, and I turned my attention back to Ranger, waving at him to indicate that the floor was his.

"You've haven't answered any calls since you've been gone," Ranger commented.

"My phone was in the safe house," I explained. "Didn't you find it?"

"Yes," Ranger said patiently. "I assumed you replaced it."

"How?!" I asked incredulously. "I only had my utility belt with me!"

"Without charged or loaded weapons in it," Natasha said from behind me, causing me to jump because I had no idea that _she'd_ arrived at Rangeman, and I was facing the door. "And no ammo to load the gun if she'd wanted to."

Turning, I glared at her and said, "nobody told me the Black Widow was a Tattle Tale!"

"I am whatever suits my needs," Natasha fired back, eyes challenging me to push her.

"Let her have this; you know it was a mistake," Darcy whispered to me.

Deciding she knew best, I turned back to Ranger and made a placating face as I mumbled out an apology.

Everyone else came back in, and I did another round of introductions for the Merry Men who hadn't been there the day Thor arrived. Then I turned back to Ranger, giving him the floor once more.

"I've been covering your skips for you, but I can't keep it up too much longer. I need to know what you intend-"

"Give me the files," I told him. "I'll handle them until Connie can get someone new in."

Ranger gestured at Tank, and he slid a stack of folders across the table to me. Conversation switched to security measures for the rental house, and I zoned them out as I started flipping through the files.

When I flipped to the last in the stack, I froze in surprise. Looking up, I noticed Ranger wasn't involved in the conversation, but was watching me instead. "This one isn't a standard FTA," I said. "This is a contract with the prison bureau."

"Yes," Ranger said steadily.

"I don't understand. This is Morris Munson," I commented. It wasn't technically worded as a question, but the room went silent as Ranger nodded his head.

"He escaped from prison," Ranger answered.

"He's a wife killer and necrophiliac or some sick shit, not an organized criminal or master escape artist! How did he get out?" I asked, disbelief evident in my voice. When Ranger shrugged, my voice pitched higher and I mimicked Ranger's motion then asked, "what do you mean? A shrug is not an answer."

"Nobody knows," Ranger told me. "If you need help bringing him in…"

"Can I even make this capture? Legally?" I asked, flipping the pages in the file.

Ranger nodded his head toward the folder and said, "that's your copy with your name on the appropriate paperwork. I figured if you got back before he was located, you had first rights of refusal. I know you had so much fun last time."

"Ha ha," I said sarcastically.

"Maybe don't wear any loose fitting clothing," Ranger suggested, laughter in his eyes.

At Thor's confused sounds and puppy dog eyes, I huffed out a breath and explained, "he lit my shirt on fire while I was wearing it when I tried to bring him in. Then he broke into my apartment to kill me, so I shot him in the toe."

"And she finally brought him in naked and wet!" Lester crowed.

Every head had swiveled to look at him when he spoke turned back to me and I could sense amusement mixing with the distress my announcement had caused Thor through our bond.

With a sigh I said, "I broke into his apartment with my sort of partner Lula while he was showering, and we apprehended him."

"Want him?" Ranger asked to clarify.

"Yeah," I said. "When I find him, does he go to Trenton PD?"

"They'll arrange a transfer," Ranger confirmed.

Through our mental connection, I could hear Thor as he silently protested asking about how safe that was to do if I was pregnant. The wave of sadness I sent back conveyed the raw emotion I'd felt since starting my period before we left the base, and Thor just grabbed my hand that was under his in the table and sent me comforting love in return.

"Sounds fun," Bucky filled the silence, clearly realizing something was going on between Thor and I.

"You only say that because you haven't met Lula yet," Cal muttered.

"Or her grandmother," Ram added with a shudder.

I groaned at that and thunked my head on the table, startling Thor who quickly pulled me back and examined me for a bruise.

"I've been gone for two weeks and I didn't call my mother; she is going to be just _unbearably_ awful," I groaned. "So much worse than usual."

"She is your mother. I look forward to…" Thor trailed off when the Merry Men went wide eyed and started frantically making slashing motions across their throats while shaking their heads.

"Actually, let's try really hard not to do that," I rushed out. "I'll pop in, confirm that I'm not dead, and pop back out. No need for _anyone_ to meet her. Even you, Thor."

Before anyone could comment any further, I hastily stood and picked up the files.

I looked over at the Warriors Three who were now wearing regular clothes and had large duffle bags lined up along the wall, presumably heavy with armor and weapons I said, "alright, we'll get out of your hair, Ranger. I'll pick up a new phone-" I cut off when Ranger skid one across the table to me, and nodded my thanks. "Okay, then, we'll drop by the bonds office to let Vinnie yell at me a bit and allow the rumor mill figure out I'm back. Then we'll detour by my apartment to pack a few more things and meet the rest back at the house."

To my surprise, no one argued as we made our way out of the conference room and I said my goodbyes. As we made our way down the stairs, Darcy taking a piggy back from Steve to keep up since she was wearing heels, the silence stretched on.

Finally when we reached three SUVs, not two, Steve said, "The Warriors Three will come with us so that you're less conspicuous. You take Sif, she blends in well and you look the same age. If anyone asks, tell them she's an old friend from college. Barton's on the roof covering your exit, so we'll leave a few minutes after you, one vehicle at a time. You can take your time, just call if you need anything."

Thor opened my door, and I climbed back up behind the wheel. Sif took the other front seat, and Thor sat in the middle of the bench behind us so he could lean forward and easily converse with us.

Once we were on the road, Sif asked, "am I to assume there is no babe?"

"Ah, no," I said, refusing to meet Thor's eyes in the mirror.

After a brief silence where I could feel him willing me to meet his gaze, Thor finally gave up and placed a hand on my shoulder gently.

"In truth, the healers did not think it would be possible with the shock your body went through, My Lady. It is no one's fault," he told me, offering comfort.

"Of course not," Sif genuinely and urgently agreed.

I sighed and said, "that's good to know, but it is still disappointing."

"Aye," Thor said softly. "But we have plenty of time."

I guessed if I was going to live to be thousands of years old, that was true. We actually had centuries to have kids if we wanted to wait. But deep down, I knew that if it was something I was going to do, I wanted to be able to share it with my friends and family of this life.

I was pulled out of the beginning of a silent contemplation of which of my Midgardian soulmates might live past a standard lifespan (surely Steve and Bucky would, right?) when Sif asked me, "will you tell us who we are about to meet?"

Personally, I'd rather not take them inside, but I didn't see that happening. And it wasn't worth fighting about, so I told them, "Let's see Vinnie is my cousin and he runs the bail bonds office. That means he writes most of the bonds, and he's going to be extremely angry at me for disappearing without warning."

"But I thought Ranger made sure your job was being done in your absence?" Thor enquired.

"He did, but Vinnie won't care," I told him. "Then there's Connie, she's the one who _actually_ runs the office. When I was a kid, I went to school with her sister. She's got an attitude, and she won't take any crap from you, not that you'd try to give her any, but she's good at what she does."

"And your partner, Lula?" Sif prompted.

"Partner is a bit of a stretch," I started, trying to decide how to explain Lula. "Technically, she's the office filing clerk, but she likes to ride around with me when she's bored, which is all the time. She has a knack for not listening to me, leaving me stranded places when we're using her car and the cops show up, and trying to shoot things but missing. Lula is loud and very much her own person."

Glancing back at Thor I said, "and odds are she will make it well known that she thinks you are attractive." Under my breath I added, "but it won't be nearly as bad as if we run into my grandmother."

I could see Sif and Thor exchange a look, and I knew they managed to hear me, but no one commented, so I considered it a win. Pulling up to the bonds office, I got a spot directly in front and figured that was about it for my luck for the day. We piled out of the car, and I stood on the street for a moment, staring at the place that had brought me so much grief while also being my savior.

As weird as it was given how much had already happened, standing there looking at Plum Bail Bonds felt like the moment my world was really going to change. The Avengers had accepted everything easily because, they were Avengers, they'd seen pretty much everything bizarre that a crazy person could imagine and more. Ranger and my Merry Men were… probably actually freaked out, but they hid it and they'd quickly accepted me because they always had.

But as soon as I walked into that office and introduced Thor as my husband, my life was really going to change. Because they would recognize Thor. I mean, it was a unique name, and my husband was built. There would be no mistaking him. Sif would probably slink by largely unnoticed this visit because they'd be so caught up in Thor, but eventually they'd start putting pieces together and realize that Sif was another name from Norse mythology. Probably when Connie tried to run her in a few hours after the Thor-shock wore off.

And there was not a doubt in my mind that Lula would start texting people while we were there, and the second we left both of them would be on their phones. Thor slid his arm around my waist, silently and patiently waiting without asking what we were doing. Eventually I looked over at him, and he smiled softly at me, which made me melt inside. And it reminded me why I was so excited about these changes.

I had Thor, and he would be with me through all of them.

Clearing my throat, I looked back at the SUV and said, "I wasn't going to bother introducing you as Donald. They'll figure it out soon enough, so you can bring Mjolnir if you'd like."

That got me an even bigger smile as Thor reached his free hand out. Sif, sighed even as she quickly moved and opened the door, allowing Mjolnir to reach Thor without ripping through the side of the vehicle. "Men," she muttered.

I stifled a giggle and rolled my shoulders back before taking a step forward. When we reached the front, Thor opened the door for me and before I could even step in, Lula was yelling.

"Skinny ass white girl, where the Hell have you been? You just up and disa-" Lula cut off, eyes going huge and jaw stuck open as she gaped at something behind me.

Since Thor was just there and I didn't hear any fighting happening, I assumed it was him and not someone with a rocket launcher, and I kept moving forward.

"Hey, Lula, Connie," I said. "Connie, sorry that I ghosted a bit, but I made sure Ranger would cover. I have the files from him, is there anything new you need me to pick up?"

Connie was still staring behind me, only looking slightly less dumb than Lula. Blowing out a breath, I said, "Right. Connie, Lula, this is my husband Thor and my friend from college, Sif. Guys, this is Connie and Lula."

I indicated to each person as I made introductions, and Sif strode confidently forward, shaking each woman's hand.

Apparently that snapped Lula out of it because she said, "nuh uh! You ain't replacing me with another skinny ass white chick! What kind of show would that make? Two skinny ass white chicks running around taking down skips? They'll laugh your boring asses out of the hood; you ain't got no street cred!"

I would be perfectly okay with being laughed out of the "hood" and never going back, but I didn't think that was the point. With that in mind, what I said was, "actually, Lula. I'm thinking you're about ready to be a bounty hunter yourself."

"Oh hell no, when you're the bounty hunter, all those crazies want to kill you! Because I'm just the assistant, ain't nobody want to kill me! Besides, what would you be then?" Lula spat out belligerently.

"Actually, I'm going to be moving away," I said. Cutting my eyes over to Connie I reassured, "after I make sure you get someone new and they're all set."

At that, Vinnie's door flew open and smashed into the wall. I couldn't hold back the wince because the sound was so much louder with improved hearing.

"Well if it isn't my no good cousin, Stephanie," Vinnie came out yelling. "I gave you a job when you came to me with nothing but the clothes on your back! And this is how you repay me? By disappearing without a word for two weeks? I got skips that need picking up or I lose a bunch of money, and where's my bounty hunter? No one can tell me! And then you just show up here, and what? Expect me to take you back? Why should I?"

"Ranger covered for her," Connie protested on my behalf. "You didn't lose a damn cent while she was gone!"

That was Connie being nice because the truth was, the bonds office had probably done _better_ without me there.

"I came to give you notice, and to cover until you can find a replacement," I told him calmly.

"You quit? After all I did for you?" Vinnie hollered even though a second ago he was telling me he wouldn't take me back. "And what, did you bring these two clowns to apply for the job? Because I'm not taking your recommendation, they'll probably just up and quit without warning whenever they feel like it to."

"Actually, they're not here to work, this is my friend Sif, and my husband, Thor."

"See!" Vinnie cried, throwing his hands up in disgust. Then he paused, and looked at me, "did you say 'husband'?"

At the same time he said that, Lula screeched, "wait, you're THOR!"

"Yes," I answered both simultaneously.

"What do you mean, husband?" Lula asked. "Is this one of them hidden camera shows? Are you pranking us right now? Connie! We're going to be on TV!"

So saying, Lula pulled her purse out and started rifling through her makeup, finding a mirror and then touching herself up. I rolled my eyes and looked over at Connie, sighing when I saw her doing the same.

"You're not going to be on TV!" I yelled. My arms were waving around on their own at that point.

Thor just came up behind me, offering me his solid presence and wrapping his arms around me to get mine under control. Diplomatically he started, "I understand this may come as a shock to Lady Stephanie's friends and family, but it is true. We are recently wed, and we have decided it would be best for us to live with my fellow warriors while we reside on Midgard. We are here only to see to the transfer of My Lady's belongings, and to make sure that all is well here. Stephanie did not want to leave without repaying the kindness you showed her by offering her an opportunity to earn wages when she was in need."

He addressed the last to Vinnie, and Connie and Lula both snorted when he said the word "kindness".

Vinnie just scoffed and sneered at me, "I don't need your charity. Unlike you, I'm not a disaster. Give the files to Connie, you're done. Connie, call Joyce. She's way better than Stephanie ever was anyway."

I just stared at Vinnie for a moment, trying to decide what to do. Thor was reassuring me through our connection that however I wanted to handle the matter was fine, and Sif was behind us, an ever watchful, supportive presence. In reality, I really had offered to take the skips to help Vinnie out because he had helped me, even if it was against his will. But if he didn't want my help, I wasn't going to fight him over it. With a subdued nod, I looked at the files in my hand, pulled out the one on Munson, and set the rest on the desk in front of Connie.

Connie looked at me with regret, but took them nevertheless before shifting a fascinated gaze back to Thor.

"What's that you got there?" Vinnie asked. "I want all of them, you're never bringing another skip in for me again."

"This isn't for you. It is something separate through Rangeman for a contract- it isn't a bond or any of your business," I reassured him. I offered Connie and Lula small smiles and wished them luck then turned back toward the front door again, feeling lighter than I had in a long time.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for anyone who was expecting Morelli today! I had the chapters flipped in my mind for some reason!


	10. Under Arrest

**A/N:** I've got some health stuff happening (nothing bad), and it is making writing impossible and getting what is already written (not much more) next to impossible as well. I appreciate your patience in the meantime.

* * *

 **Chapter 10 - Under Arrest**

The carefree feeling lasted about two seconds. Right up until I opened the door and saw who was waiting on the street, leaning up against our SUV.

"Fuck," I muttered.

Thor and Sif instantly went on alert, and I didn't do anything to correct the action, hoping their body language would intimidate Morelli. Instead, Morelli puffed himself up to try to look bigger as I approached. When I tried to walk around him and to the car without saying anything, Morelli reached out and latched onto my arm.

Thor howled in rage, but Sif held him back, waiting to see what I would do.

"Get. Your. Hand. Off. Me," I said, voice pitched low and dangerous.

"I don't think so. I want to talk," Morelli retorted.

When he started trying to pull me into the alley next to the bonds office, I dug my heels in. I could see Lula and Connie pressed up against the window, but didn't let it concern me for the moment. Instead, I reached over, grabbed the hand that Morelli was using to hold me with my free hand, and bent one finger back until he let go. Then I continued pushing until his arm was behind him at an awkward, stiff angle and he couldn't run away from the pain anymore.

"Arrghhhh," he was yelling when I finally let him go. As soon as I did, he got right in my face yelling, "Stephanie Plum, you're under arrest for assaulting a police officer."

When he spun me to put on the cuffs, Thor and Sif began to protest loudly.

"Thor, don't," I warned calmly, mentally sending him reassurance. "Call Steve."

I allowed Morelli to start leading me away, and since he was in front of me, dragging me behind him, I tested the handcuffs a little. I didn't break them, but I thought I could. I met Sif's eyes with a brow raised in question, and she nodded.

Good, if Morelli tried anything, I could get free.

After practically throwing me in the back of his undercover car, Morelli got behind the wheel and sped off. The entire drive he was berating me, calling me "useless" and a "disaster." At one point he even called me a "bitch". While he was doing that, I just planned out the rest of the day.

From what I understood of the situation politically with Thor, he basically had global diplomatic immunity. And, unless Law and Order and other such TV shows had lied to me the few times I had watched and the idea of diplomatic immunity had come up, that classification was going to pass to me as Thor's wife. So even if I had done something wrong, which I hadn't, Morelli couldn't hold me. Actually, I was fairly certain he technically wasn't even allowed to arrest me. Though maybe that was null since I hadn't warned him, not that he'd believe me if I did. Which made it so tempting.

"I have diplomatic immunity," I yelled up at Morelli.

"Still bat shit crazy, I see," was all he said after a brief pause. Then he picked up ranting at me once more.

Oh well. Now he couldn't say I didn't warn him.

Assuming all that diplomat stuff was in place, I wasn't going to be in Trenton PD more than an hour, tops. From there it probably made the most sense to stop by my apartment and talk to the super then start packing some things up. After that, it would make the most sense for me to stop by my parents' house, but I wasn't really feeling up to it. I'd started the day in a bear of a mood when my period came, and the confrontation with Vinnie hadn't helped. Being arrested by my ex on trumped up charges was just icing on the top of a terrible cake.

Stick a fork in me, I was done with emotions for the day. Morelli stopped the car, and I looked up with some amount of relief to see that we were, in fact, at the police station. I was even more relieved to see that a couple of cops I would consider my friends happened to be in the lot as Morelli pulled me out.

Robin Russell, one of the cops I would definitely classify as a friend, had her phone out as she ran over to us, offering to take me off Morelli's hands. I sent her a small smile, but didn't say anything as Morelli continued to rant.

He took me into booking and cuffed me to a bench before going over and having words with the cop working the station for the day. It was Margie Slater who wasn't a fan of mine, so I settled in to wait. Much to my surprise, Robin sat down next to me, and a couple minutes later my cousin-by-marriage and another cop, Eddie Gazzara, took up the seat on the other side of me. Both understood that I was not going to say anything, and why, so they chatted amongst themselves and took their time doing so.

Slater went on a break, and I huffed out a breath of disbelief. Robin snorted in agreement, but knowing that the two would keep me safe, I leaned my head back against the wall and closed my eyes. If this went so far as to see me make it into lockup, I'd have to be on alert until I got out, so might as well try to rest a little while I could.

About twenty minutes into the wait, I heard a big commotion out in the main part of the station, and I couldn't hide my grin. Eddie looked at me in question and I said, "I finally met my soulmates the other day, mostly in one fell swoop. They're quite the group, but don't worry, they'll like you both for doing this for me."

Much to my surprise, Thor wasn't the first one through the door when it slammed open. Instead, it was a panicked looking Black Widow, in full uniform. When she eyed the cops on either side of my suspiciously, I said, "Natasha, these are my friends, Robin and Eddie. They've been keeping me company while I waited." A look of relief crossed her face, and I knew she had to be aware of the dangers of being someone in law enforcement who was under arrest. Continuing, I said, "Robin and Eddie, this is Natasha Romanov, and she's one of my platonic soulmates. You may know her from such things as The Avengers and that massive SHIELD data leak."

Natasha's mouth quirked up in amusement, and she huskily said, "I'm glad to see you have backup. I was concerned that you may be in a holding cell, and who knows who could have been in there with you."

I looked over at the still empty booking desk and replied in a bored tone, "I think the plan was to leave me unsupervised for long enough that I peed my pants first. You know, for the embarrassment factor."

"I spoiled that, so I don't see what the point was anymore," Robin calmly added.

There were a few beats of silence before Natasha said, "your husband wanted to come in here himself, but he's in there clearing up the matter. You know, making sure everyone's clear on your new status."

There was a crack of thunder and flash of lightning at that, and I stifled a laugh.

"Husband?" Eddie asked curiously.

"Have you heard of Thor? You know Prince of Asgard, God of Thunder, Dude Who Carries a Giant Hammer and Calls Lightning to Do His Bidding?" I stage whispered in response.

"Are you serious?!" Eddie sounded absolutely dumbfounded by the information.

"Yep," I popped my "p" sound, and shifted in my seat a little. "He's also Asgard's Diplomat to all of Earth, so he's got crazy diplomatic immunity…"

There were a few beats of silence at that before I looked up and Natasha saying, "don't get me wrong, I'm grateful he's doing that for me. But there's a tiny piece of me that wishes Steve was handling Morelli and teaching him he can't just grab women, especially exes, and try to make them talk to him or go places with him whenever he wants."

"Is that what started this?" she asked calmly.

"Wait, you didn't know?" Shock evident in my voice, I looked at her wide eyed as I continued, "you just found out I got arrested and immediately started undoing it?"

That was pretty humbling considering that by the way she'd come barreling in upon her arrival, I was 90% sure Natasha had been planning to bust me out of my jail cell first and wait for me to be cleared second. And she hadn't even known if I deserved to be locked up.

"Thor was adamant that it was unwarranted, and we like you," Natasha informed me with a shrug. "Now why do you wish Steve was the one giving your ex a hard time?"

I knew the grin on my face was wicked as I explained, "he was a big Captain America fan as a kid."

Natasha went still for a moment, then she let out an evil laugh. Pulling out her phone, she typed on it for a moment before returning her gaze to me and saying, "hitting where it hurts the most, I like it." Her phone beeped and she looked down, smile twisting up a corner of her mouth, as she added, "he promises to use lots of his disappointed face."

"Captain America?" Eddie said next to me weakly.

I nodded, then included, "he and Bucky Barnes are my platonic soulmates as well." When Eddie whimpered I said, "might want to work on that before you meet him. Don't want to embarrass yourself!"

It was several more minutes before the door burst open again, and I smiled when I saw Thor fill the frame. He rushed over to me and bent down to give me a kiss. Unfortunately for everyone else, we were still in the new, bond strengthening phase, so I couldn't help but open my mouth to allow his tongue to tangle with mine.

Seriously, I couldn't help it.

Thankfully Robin reached over and nudged me before I could get too far into it, so I pulled back. When the police captain walked in seconds later, Robin and Eddie hopped to attention next to where I was still stuck to the bench. Thor stood tall once more, and though he didn't say anything, his brooding look clearly made his continued displeasure known.

The captain looked nervous as he got keys for the cuffs from Eddie and said to me, "we apologize Steph… Mrs… Thor? We appreciate the years of service you have given to the community as a bounty hunter, helping to keep Trenton safe. If there is anything I can do to help you, please let me know. And please be assured that a memo has already been sent out making sure that our entire department is aware of your updated status. In addition, I will be reviewing the video of the incident provided by Rangeman security via the cameras they had outside of Plum Bail Bonds, and I will take appropriate disciplinary action against Detective Morelli should it be warranted."

I shook out my wrist that had been chained to the bench once I was released, and shook the man's hand while thanking him for his assistance and assuring him that I wasn't holding a grudge against Trenton PD.

Morelli on the other hand, I was holding a grudge against. But I didn't say that out loud. It was pretty obvious.

Still, I said nothing further as I left the station with Thor and our friends surrounding us.

"Well, that was fun," Steve said as we reached what appeared to be the SUV I'd driven earlier in the day, but with a few more dents in it.

"I'm really sorry," I started to apologize, only to be cut off by resounding protests.

"I've seen the video," Natasha said quickly. "What happened was not your fault. Perhaps though you were apologizing for not taking that scum down to the ground and breaking him a little. I know you are able."

"He's a cop," I said. "Doesn't pay to piss off a cop who already hates you."

"I thought he was your former lover," Thor inquired.

"Yeah, in hindsight, I'm not even sure how much he liked me while we were dating. He'd already blown things with his own soulmate, and I think he figured he could just control me and I'd do whatever he wanted forever."

Natasha snorted out a laugh, and I smiled, not willing to admit how long I'd allowed the behavior to persist.

"So, where are you off to now?" Steve asked. Then he added, "and I beg of you, please don't let Thor drive any more."

I bit back a grin, figuring that's where the dents had come from. When I glanced at Thor, he was pouting and I couldn't help but rise up onto my toes to offer him a kiss in consolation.

To Thor, I murmured, "there's lots of space up at the Avengers facility. When we get back there, I'll teach you to drive." Turning to the others, I said, "I figured I'd go back to my apartment and box things up. Maybe see if I can catch the super, Dillon, and give notice of leaving. I think I'm supposed to give a full month, but given the number of explosions, fires, and deaths that have happened in it with me living there, I don't think that they'll hold me to that. Though I'm fairly certain I won't be getting my security deposit back. At any rate, we'll be back at the house in a few hours, probably."

"Don't see why we can't help you get it done faster," Steve offered.

Just because I was able to lift heavy things and move probably everything on my own if I had to didn't mean I wanted to do so, so I quickly agreed to their help. What was the point in having a master strategist and a dude with a robotic arm as platonic soulmates if you couldn't use them to help you move more quickly and efficiently?

I drove to my apartment with just Thor sitting next to me. Although we were silent, we had our hands clasped in each other's whenever I didn't both of mine for the driving, and we offered each other comfort and affection through our bond.

It seemed Avengers had Rangeman level parking karma because we were able to get two spots right by the door in the parking lot. As we waited for the others to pull in and park, I felt the need to break our comfortable silence and explain what Thor was about to see.

"My apartment is no palace," I told him slowly as I tried to pick out my words. "When I divorced my ex-husband, he took all the money, and left me pretty much nothing. I had a good job for a while, but no savings. Then once I did have a savings account, I lost that job, so I was stuck here for longer. Although the apartment is kind of a dump and I don't have much, it is a symbol of sorts-"

"Of your freedom and your self-reliance," Thor mused. "I admire the strength it must have taken you, Stephanie, to leave a husband who betrayed your trust, and make your way in this world alone once more."

With that, he pressed a kiss to the back of the hand he was holding, and I beamed, blinking back tears of joy at how well he already seemed to understand me and everything I'd gone through. A third SUV pulled up as the others reached us, and Steve explained, "I asked Bucky to go get some boxes, and I think Darcy wanted to come help as well."

As we waited for them to join us, Natasha told me about the rental house and the security measures they had begun implementing before getting called out to assist after my arrest. My spidey sense (what I called a general awareness I felt sometimes when someone was watching me or stalking me) was tingling just a little as we ascended the stairs to my apartment, but I discounted it as a byproduct of nerves and emotions related to moving out of the place I'd considered home for the past few years.

Arriving at my door, I allowed Thor to take my keys from my hand to unlock it. Even upon reflection after the fact, I had no idea what it was that caught my attention and had me moving defensively so quickly. No sooner had the door started to crack open than I shoved a startled Thor aside.

Thinking of my sword, I willed it to my hand and used it to block the attack of the tire iron swinging at my head. Pissed off, I swung the sword breaking my attacker's grasp on his weapon then followed through with a crack of the sword's hilt to the back of the man's head. He crashed to the ground, and I heard Darcy's surprised exclamation of "damn" from behind me as I straddled him, dropped my sword on the ground, and grabbed onto his arms to secure him.

"Mother fucker," I muttered to myself, then looked over at the others. "Uh, Natasha. If you could go into my cookie jar, there should be some restraints there."

"You are unhurt, yes?" Thor asked quietly. When I nodded my head, he grinned down proudly at me. "And who is this?"

"This would be Morris Munson," I informed him, looking around the apartment. "If I had to guess, I'd say that he's made himself at home while I was gone, and he's been waiting to get the drop on me whenever I finally returned. Please tell me you picked up the paperwork I dropped when Morelli arrested me?"

"I have it here," Sif informed me, stepping forward with the folder in question.

"Great, thanks." I grabbed the restraints Natasha was holding out to me, and I trussed Munson up well.

"He is alive, right?" Steve asked cautiously. "Not that I think you'd purposely kill him, and even if you did, it was obviously self defense, but you're quite a lot stronger now and you probably don't have control of that yet… with a blow to the head…"

He trailed off when Darcy shushed him and whispered something about stealing my thunder.

Startled, I reached down and felt for a pulse, nodding when I felt it. Satisfied that I had him secured I looked around at everyone and said, "okay. I'm going to head back to the Police Station to turn Munson in and ask them to arrange a transfer for him back into prison. Why don't I call in an order for pizza and have that delivered. While I'm gone, you can eat and make yourselves at home. And when I get back, we can do the whole packing thing."

Everyone shared glances around before Natasha nodded her head and said, "Sif and I will come with you, it can be bonding time for us."

"You have to take me with you, don't leave me here with all these icky boys!" Darcy complained, though the sentiment was negated by the kisses she gave to Steve and Bucky as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

As soon as we had Munson shackled into the car and were on our way to the police station, I dialed my phone again. "This is Stephanie Plum, requesting aid with a transfer of Morris Munson, escaped convict…"


	11. A Game is Afoot

**Chapter 11 - A Game is Afoot**

After a night spent packing up and cleaning my old apartment, moving some belongings to the rental, donating the few items that might have value to Goodwill, and taking the junk to the dumpster, I had plans for the morning. I wasn't a bond enforcement agent anymore, so I didn't have to work, and I was newlywed and newlybonded to a freaking god of a man.

My plan for the morning involved riding him. Or letting him have a go at me. I wasn't picky, I just wanted to start the day with a little bit of magic before I inevitably had to face my family at some point.

So when I awoke to the sound of my phone ringing, I thought it was only fair that I grumbled, shoved my pillow firmly over my head, and snuggled more adamantly into Thor. Blissfully, the phone stopped ringing, but it picked up again ten seconds later. I sleepily reached a hand to the other side of the bed, flailing with it uselessly until I finally grabbed the phone. Then I dragged the it under the pillow with me.

"What?" I snarled at whoever was calling.

"Babe," came a familiar voice on the other side.

"It is way too fucking early in the morning for a phone call, Ranger! Do you know how I know that?" I asked, waiting for him to respond. He didn't, but he also didn't say anything else, so I continued my rant, "because Thor is still in bed, and he likes to wake up at the ass crack of dawn just like you. Oh, yeah, and because it's still dark out."

I thought I just might have heard Ranger sigh a little before he used a tone that told me he meant business and said business was serious as he repeated, "Babe."

Scrambling up, I stumbled over the side of the bed, cursing as I stubbed my toe on the bedside table as I tried to right myself. Into the phone, I demanded, "what? Who died? Do I need to go to a hospital?"

I was trying to pull on a pair of pants, and I noticed Thor roll out of bed, watching me with concern but quickly dressing himself. When he finished, he came over and saved me from the jeans I was convinced were trying to kill me.

"No one is dead," Ranger said in response. "But I'm outside, and we need to talk. I brought doughnuts."

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath as I hung up the phone. I grabbed the shirt Thor was holding out to me and pressed a kiss to his cheek. After I threw the shirt on, I looked down and laughed. "Marking your territory?"

Thor's eyes twinkled as he said, "oh, does that have a depiction of Mjolnir? That escaped my notice; I merely selected the garment which was easiest to find."

I rolled my eyes as I pulled on a pair of socks to ward off the chill as I made a noise of disbelief. When I opened my mouth though, what I said was, "you can go back to sleep. Apparently no one is dead, but Ranger is here, he needs to talk, and he brought me happy food, so whatever it is... it isn't good."

"Then we shall find out together," Thor insisted, helping me to my feet once more. I dashed into the bathroom, and when I scurried back out, Thor stopped me in the doorway as he went to take his turn saying, "I started the coffee; I will be but a moment."

Nodding my thanks, I moved down the stairs as quickly as I could while still hopefully not waking up everyone in the house and rushed to the front foyer. I paused long enough to cram my feet into some boots and wrap a jacket around myself before I opened the door. At the curb, a black Porsche Cayenne was idling. Ranger.

Walking forward as calmly as I could in case anyone else was watching, I moved to the passenger side, and just tapped on the window. When it rolled down, I bent down to see in and said, "come inside, Ranger. I need coffee if I'm going to deal with whatever shit is going on."

By way of response, Ranger simply shut off the engine and stepped out of the car.

"Did you lie about the doughnuts?" I asked, voice tinged with hurt.

"Would you have gotten up and dressed so quickly if you didn't think you were getting a treat?" Ranger asked.

I sulked and pouted at him as I crossed my arms across my chest and said, "of course I would if you said it was important."

Ranger's lips quirked into an almost smile for just a split second. We both knew I was fibbing, but he didn't call me on it, just paused at the back and opened the car trunk. Curiously, I watched as he leaned in then came out with a mismatched stack of five of the largest bakery boxes I'd ever seen. Rushing forward, I helped him by shutting the car once more and there was definitely even more of a bounce to my step as I led the way back to the house.

"Where did you even get this many doughnuts this early in the morning?" I asked excitedly.

"I sent my men to a variety of shops," Ranger told me. "I didn't want to have to watch you murder an Avenger for stealing a doughnut from you, so I brought plenty to share."

"Oh, well, no one else is awake yet," I told him as I opened the front door.

"Babe," came Ranger's one word reply.

When we reached the oversized dining room, Thor, Sif, the Warriors Three, Bucky, Steve, Darcy, Natasha, and Clint were all slumped over various mugs of coffee, so it seemed Ranger had a point. Though I could tell he just wanted to get on with business, Ranger made polite small talk and waited for everyone to settle down with food and a drink.

"You brought in Munson yesterday," Ranger started, making it sound like a question even though he already knew the answer.

I shrugged and explained, "it wasn't very difficult to find him as it turned out. He was squatting in my apartment, waiting for me."

Ranger's eyes darkened when he heard that, but he merely nodded his head. Then he blew out a breath and said, "I think we have a problem."

I was studying Ranger carefully, and took a guess based on what I saw, "more prison escapes?"

Ranger gave a brief nod and said, "Kenny Martin."

"He was a pretty tame take-down," I mused, remembering the man only vaguely. "He might not come after me."

Ranger just added, "Kenyon Lally."

"Same," I insisted. "Though he had a long history of beating his wife, so odds are he did not enjoy the fact that a woman brought him in."

"Kenny Mancuso," Ranger said softly.

I sucked in a breath and felt everyone's gazes zero in on me. "Yeah, he might be a problem. The last thing I ever heard him say was, 'these Plum bitches are goddamn animals!' after he and I had a bit of a scuffle where I fought a little dirty and Morelli had to break it up and restrain Mancuso. That was after he spent days taunting me, threatening me, and sending me things like body parts as 'gifts'."

"What body parts?" Darcy sounded both disgusted and fascinated at the same time.

"Oh you know, the usual. Fingers," I said. Then I tried to speak too quickly to actually be understood as I added, "penises, etc."

The men pretty universally flinched and grabbed for themselves, which I would have been amused by if not for my overwhelming concern at the recent turn of events.

"What are the odds that it's just a big coincidence?" I asked Ranger.

"That four of your skips have broken out of prison in just a couple days?" Ranger sounded incredulous.

"Yeah, I mean, I'm sure lots of people break out of prison every year," I actually wasn't sure, but I desperately wanted it to be true. "I bet there's dozens. Maybe even a hundred."

"Between two and three thousand," Bucky supplied. "Most years."

"Yeah, but there are somewhere around two million people in prison," Natasha argued. "She's put such a small fraction of those in prison, but the fraction of her prisoners that are escaped is comparatively HUGE. There's no way it's a coincidence."

"How'd they get out?" Steve asked Ranger.

"No one knows, there's no evidence. One minute they're there, and the next, they aren't," Ranger supplied.

"Which prisons?" Clint asked.

Ranger listed them off, and Natasha, Bucky, and Clint each named one and disappeared from the room.

"What are they doing?" I asked.

"They're going to go figure out how the men broke out," Steve told me.

Thor had been silent the whole time, which I thought was odd. From what I could tell so far, Thor liked to be in charge and lead, especially on Asgard, but for some reason, he didn't do that here. Perhaps it was in deference to the fact that Steve was officially the Avengers team leader, or maybe it was just that he wasn't as sure of how things worked on Midgard.

Catching my gaze, he offered me a reassuring smile and said, "I have no doubt that the papers under the last box of these delightful breakfast pastries give you, Stephanie, the right to collect these criminals and that you will attempt to do so. I will remain by your side, so I am available to you should you need assistance."

Ranger slid the stack of papers out from under the box in question and along the table over to me. After a quick glance, I saw that they were exactly that and nodded my head. "Yesterday I thought maybe I'd be on my way out of Trenton sooner than expected," I murmured. "But I can't leave until we figure this out."

Thor must have heard the genuine regret in my voice because his hands came up and started massaging my shoulders gently.

"So, what's your plan?" Steve asked me, and I couldn't keep my jaw from dropping.

"This is your town, you know the lay of the land, and you've brought these men in before," Darcy explained with a laugh. "Just because he's Captain America sometimes doesn't mean Steve's just going to run roughshod all over you and start barking orders."

I looked over at Ranger, and he raised a brow at me before saying, "Babe."

Right, if Ranger brought the paperwork to me in my name, that meant he was letting me take lead. Not to mention he'd had to shift things around to catch my stalker, then he'd no doubt had to pay overtime to cover for me when I left the planet, so I was thinking he probably really needed to focus on Rangeman more than anything else at the moment.

To start, I nodded at Ranger and said, "Ranger's going to go back to work once we're done here and return to business as usual."

"Steph-" Ranger started, but I just cut him off.

"I'm serious, Ranger," I said, pointing my finger at him. "You have a business to run, and I'd bet the men have been running extra shifts since the last stalker before I left. I have plenty of backup here, even if the Avengers need to head out."

Ranger's eyes darted over to Volstagg, and he leaned over to whisper to me, "he's bigger than _Tank_."

Rather than letting a statement like that get awkward, Steve instead reassured us, "even if there is a mission, most of us who are here should be able to stay or be swapped out. Half the team is still back at the base."

I shifted my head from side to side while I contemplated and then decided he of all people would know. Continuing on, I said, "Mancuso will make himself known, if he's in town. And he poses the largest risk. Today should be about getting myself seen and letting slip the location of where I'm staying. I don't want him to harm any of my old building's tenants, and this place has way more security than he's dealt with before. So today I'll focus on making myself visible while also trying to get some leads on Martin and Lally. At the end of the day, we'll see how it's gone and reassess for tomorrow."

Darcy raised her hand, so I nodded at her and she told us, "you're all forgetting one very important thing. Today is Tuesday."

"Right," I nodded, not having actually been sure what day it was, but not really caring either.

"Tomorrow is Wednesday," Darcy paused to see if anyone was going to catch on. "And Thursday is Thanksgiving?"

There were a couple beats of silence, which I broke by muttering, "oh shit. My mother's going to expect me to eat dinner with them. How has she not just flooded me with messages?"

"Did you check?" Ranger asked. "Because I got so sick of the damn thing ringing from her calling that I changed her ringtone to mute. And I turned off voicemail notifications."

"That would explain it then," I readily agreed.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, you can't go, Steph," Darcy informed me.

"And why is that?" I asked, well aware that my tone was fairly clearly begging for her to be telling me the truth.

"You have to go to some big shindig at the White House for ambassadors and such," she told me as though it was some everyday thing and not abso- _fucking_ -lutely terrifying.

"President knows you're married," Steve added. "Don't think you're going to get out of that. Immunity was helpful though, right?"

I wondered to myself if diplomatic immunity still held if you stabbed a politician in the eye for being smarmy or boring, and when everyone laughed, I realized I'd spoken out loud. Hastily, I added, "not that I would."

"It's no big deal," Darcy soothed me. "Steve, Bucky, and I have to go too because of the whole Captain America thing, so I'll make sure it doesn't get too boring for you."

Steve and Bucky both groaned at that, and I stifled a smile of my own. "Don't suppose it's casual," I inquired hopefully. When Darcy shook her head, I huffed out a sigh and added, "okay, well, the mall was probably on the list of places I was going to go to try to get noticed today, so I'll add that to the list."

"Look for shoes," Ranger told me. "Ella will handle the rest."

I pumped my fist and shot off the chair to do a victory dance, and when Darcy looked confused I explained, "Ella is Ranger's housekeeper and more, but sometimes she's had to procure clothes for me. She has excellent taste and knows my size, so that means I don't have to worry about it at all. She's like a magic fairy godmother." Then because I was looking at her, I added, "you know, Darcy, this might not be the safest place for you to be-"

She cut me off with a wave of her hand and said, "I'm sure I'll have some super soldiers glued to me when I go out, and like you said, security here is good. And someone's got to make sure everyone takes care of themselves. And I have a feeling you need a 'regular' to take out and about with you who won't scream 'it's a trap!' at the people you're going after. I'm not completely useless; I have a taser!"

"That and Bucky's been working with her for months now," Steve added, pride evident in his voice.

"I'm also good Mom back-up," Darcy told me.

"Alright, I don't know about you all, but I'm not going to be able to go back to sleep." Casting a sideways glance I announced, "so I'm going to go change into something more weather-appropriate. And weapons. Then I'll make myself seen. People know about Thor, so I feel like he should at least start out by being here with me, but if we don't get any leads I'm leaving you at home tomorrow."

I'd finished looking right at Thor, who nodded his head in agreement. Then he stood and waited for me to do the same. He waited for me to see Ranger off, then guided me by a hand on the small of my back to our room once more.

When the door closed behind us, I prepared myself for a fight. Instead, Thor pressed a quick kiss to the top of my head, then walked over to the closet to begin perusing what he had available to wear.

"Aren't you going to yell and scream and tell me it's too dangerous and I can't do it?" I asked him in confusion.

Turning back from his activity, Thor studied me carefully. He walked forward and grabbed onto my hands and gently pushed me back to sit on the bed. Kneeling on the ground in front of me so that we were eye level, Thor said, "I do not wish you to be anyone other than who you are, and for the time being, the course of action you describe is a wise one. I am more concerned with whoever is helping these men escape confinement, if it is true that one person is. But we can do nothing more than live our lives, try to capture the prisoners, and take care of each other."

"That's…" I trailed off, trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to say. Eventually I settled on, "refreshing. It makes me feel like you trust me to take care of myself."

"I do, and I also trust that you will ask for assistance if you require it," Thor spoke with a pointed tone that practically told me that's what I'd do. But I could tell it was out of concern and affection, so I quietly agreed.

"Odds are pretty good we'll wind up running into my mother or having to deal with her in some way," I told Thor as we moved about getting ready for the day.

"This troubles you why?" Thor asked.

"My mother has never understood me, or made too much of an effort to do so. I don't fit into her cookie cutter idea of what a perfect daughter does or is, and she is very vocal of her disapproval. She will, I'm sure, have loads to say about the fact that I married an alien," the last was said with a roll of my eyes.

Thor studied me and urged, "and how do you feel on the matter?"

Stunned, I turned to look at him. Seeing uncertainty on his face I walked over, pulled his head down, and pressed a kiss to his lips. Once he pulled back, I said, "I love you, and I'm glad we're together. Married. Bonded. I wouldn't change it for anything. I guess I just want to say 'I'm sorry' in advance because whatever she's going to say, I can assure you, won't be nice."

"My brother tried to take over your planet."

"Huh," I hadn't really thought about it in that context. "Maybe I met the only other person in the universe whose family's levels of crazy can relate to mine."


	12. Crazy Lady is Crazy

**Chapter 12 - Crazy Lady is Crazy**

Somehow Darcy talked her way into going with us, and Steve insisted on tailing us on his motorcycle with a hat pulled low over his face anytime we weren't in transit. Everyone going out was given a comm unit to stay in communication throughout the day, and to track each other if someone got separated from the group. Still it didn't take long to rally the troops, and once we were ready, I was the one leading the rush out the door.

I pulled up short as soon as I stepped out onto the stoop, and felt Thor smash into me while wrapping an arm around me to make sure he didn't send me tumbling.

Idling at the curb was a Rangeman SUV with Tank leaning against the passenger door. I harrumphed and puffed up my chest, ready to do battle over not needing another guard, only to deflate when Tank dangled keys in my direction.

"Yo," I said casually as I approached, noting the look of amusement that twinkled in Tank's eyes when he heard me.

"You and Ranger had a deal," Tank told me, holding out the keys. Once I grabbed them, he pointed to a blue Porsche Cayenne idling next to the SUV, just out of my line of sight when I'd exited the house.

Doing a happy dance, I swooped up the keys and boogied up to the car.

"This is yours?" Darcy cooed.

"Ranger owed me a car," I explained. "So this one is mine until I inevitably blow it up, get it stolen, or total it in some way. I hope it lasts more than a day. So pretty."

I reverently petted the car before unlocking it and moving behind the wheel. Magical Ranger powers had the mirrors, seat, and controls all adjusted into my preferences. Steve walked up to my window and I rolled it down waiting for him to speak while the others piled in.

"This thing got a fancy computer inside?" he asked. When I nodded, he reached across me to hand something to Darcy that she, in turn, clipped onto the front of the dashboard computer. Then Steve reassured me, "this'll just take a second."

I watched in surprise as a connector sprang out of it, formed into the apparently correct plug type, plugged itself in, and started flashing a yellow light. My computer screen flickered off, and I cried indignantly, "hey, you break it, you bought it!"

"Just wait for it," Darcy reassured.

Moments after she spoke, the screen came to life once more, but instead of displaying the Porsche logo, it showed the Avengers symbol.

"Hello, Ms. Plum," FRIDAY's computerized voice greeted me. "I will oversee all the normal functions of your vehicle, as well as provide extra theft prevention services."

"As long as you don't blow up my car, we're good," I told her.

"I would never," she retorted, sounding offended. I hadn't known it was possible to offend an AI.

"Sorry," I mumbled because if it was possible to offend an AI, it was probably in my best interest to smooth over any hurt feelings. Then I looked at Steve and asked, "anything else?"

"If you don't see me behind you, you haven't lost me. I'm going to let FRIDAY guide me- you don't need to drive any differently than usual. Other than that, try to have fun?"

Taking him at his word, I waited until he took half a step back and sped off, cackling wildly at the look of surprise I'd registered on his face. Darcy was in the seat next to mine, laughing delightedly along with me. A quick look through the rearview told me I'd amused Sif, and I could feel what I could only describe as glee coming off Thor who was directly behind me.

"First order of business," I declared. "More coffee."

As I drove, Darcy started digging through her purse. "Okay, I have some things here for you." She started, completely uncaring of the way I was weaving through the streets of Trenton. "This solid black card with black raised writing on it is a credit card linked to the Avengers accounts. Use it for team-event related purposes, like anything you need to go to the White House event on Thursday. Tell FRIDAY what the charges are, and she'll reconcile everything for accounting. This other black one that doesn't say 'Avengers' under your name is the personal card I procured for you at Thor's request. Basically he makes loads of money Avenging and diplomat-ing. He also brought some gold and such down from Asgard to seed a bank account and severely underestimated its value because who wouldn't want alien artifacts, especially gold ones, so dude is loaded. Which means you are too."

I could sense Thor's nervousness through our bond, and I knew he was getting a good dose of overwhelmed from me. Still, I managed a weak smile in the mirror, and when he beamed back at me, I felt my insecurity start to melt away. After all, I'd seen his home. No matter how hard I tried, I'd never be able to put a dent in his family fortune.

And if I did, we could melt down a wall in the palace and probably live off that money for a hundred years.

Because the goal was to be seen, I made the decision to go to the most crowded Starbucks in the Burg. When we got a decent parking spot, I figured luck may just be on my side for the day. Of course I barely made it three steps into the store when a voice called out, "Stephanie Plum, is that you?!"

I allowed myself a small sigh and murmured my order to Darcy before I pasted a smile onto my face and turned in the direction the voice had come from.

"Hi Mrs. Ciak," I said pleasantly. "How are to today?"

"Does your mother know you're home?"

It seemed the interrogation was going to begin right away without any pleasantries.

"I haven't had a chance to call yet," I calmly informed her. "But we'll probably stop by to say hi soon."

"It wasn't your first stop? You've been missing for weeks now, and I know your mother was worried sick. What with you disappearing without so much as a phone call of warning."

"I haven't been 'missing,' I just went out of town," I reasoned. "And my first stop was at my apartment so that my husband and our friends could start helping me move."

There had been a dull buzz of semi-hushed whispers throughout the small shop as Mrs. Ciak questioned me- even the Starbuck's employees were hardly bothering to pretend that they were actually working. At the word "husband," a full hush went through the crowd.

"I'm sorry, Dear. I don't think I caught that. Did you say you were married? Your mother didn't mention an engagement."

Thor stepped up and gave her a friendly, solemn look that made me realize why it wasn't actually too much of a stretch to say that he was an Ambassador.

"I fear that was my doing, there were customs among my people that had to be observed. For the sake of Stephanie's royal standing, it was most important that we wed as soon as possible after we bonded."

"Stephanie is Blank, everyone knows that," Mrs. Ciak stage whispered.

"There's nothing wrong with being Blank," I shouted, temper reaching a boiling point and arms beginning to wave of their own volition.

Thor just gave my waist a reassuring squeeze as he pulled me firmly into him and responded, "Steph is right; however, I am not of Earth and am most fortunate in my matching. I regret that Stephanie had to spend her years being treated so poorly just because there were no outward marks reflecting our match."

Mrs. Ciak looked like she'd just sucked on a particularly sour lemon, so I took a moment to murmur out a half-hearted "good to see you again" then tugged on Thor to get him walking over to where Darcy and Sif were waiting for the baristas to make our drinks. When we reached them, I turned and leaned my back against Thor while eyeing the rest of the people in the shop.

Cell phones were out, and gossip was buzzing wildly once more. Some seemed to be calling others to share the news of Stephanie Plum's most recent insanity, and others I would guess were Googling to see if my Thor really was the Thor. I allowed a small sigh to escape me as I took in the situation, and decided at least it would be improved by more caffeine.

And truthfully the scene Mrs. Ciak had caused hadn't been near as bad as others would have caused. And heaven forbid it had been…

My thought trailed off when I heard the door open and felt a chill go through my body. Of all the people I'd expected to possibly run into in a Starbucks, Joe Morelli's Grandmother Bella had to be at the very bottom of the list.

Grandma Bella didn't drink Starbucks.

Grandma Bella thought Starbucks was an abomination.

Which only meant one thing: Grandma Bella was here for me.

Grandma Bella is an old, hunched woman who looked a little like you might imagine the witch from Hansel and Gretel looked. She had white hair, only wore black, and loved to put spells on people.

Of course, the second her beady eyes adjusted to the darker setting, she scanned the room and fixed in on me. She started pointing at me immediately as she old woman hobbled in my direction.

"You!" Grandma Bella shouted. "You broke my Joseph's heart. You ruin my Joseph's reputation!"

Grandma Bella scares the crap out of me. She has visions, and she puts "The Eye" on people. She puts her finger to her eye, mumbles a bunch of voodoo, and something bad happens to you that always gets blamed on "The Eye." It was a bunch of faux Italian mumbo jumbo, but it still made me nervous. Just because I didn't think it was true didn't mean that I wanted it put on me.

"Oh, for the hundredth time, I did not break Joseph's heart!" I cried out, throwing my hands into the air.

"I put 'The Eye' on you! I curse you and your Jezebel ways! I'm gonna put the eye on you and make your female parts turn to dusk!"

Behind me, I heard a startled Darcy mutter, "what the fuck," but thankfully for her, it seemed that she said it quietly enough that Grandma Bella didn't hear. Either that or Grandma Bella just didn't care because she had me to go after.

"You ruin my Joseph's reputation! I always say you are trouble, and I am right! My Joseph is a good man. A good cop. And you have him arrested?!" Grandma Bella had a full head of steam going.

"Joe assaulted me," I told her, trying to reason with the crazy. "And he wasn't arrested, he was put on leave."

"My Joseph love you even though you a worthless Blank, and what do you give him in return? Nothing but a broken heart. You're a Jezebel! You tempt him and you jump in and out of his bed. I'll put the eye on you!"

Thor stepped swiftly around me, putting his body between me and where Bella was inching ever closer to me.

"You bear none of the aura of one who has powers of sorcery. Take your ill will and the nonsense you speak and go," Thor told Bella firmly and confidently.

All throughout the little store, breaths were sucked in and people started ducking under tables. People who had yet to place their orders started running for the door. After all, they hadn't paid the obscene prices for their caffeine fix yet, and there was another location just a couple blocks away. Definitely not worth the trouble of being in the Splash Zone when Grandma Bella was on a rampage.

Looking out from around my mountain of a husband I said, "Joe always knew what our relationship was, and he knows why I left him. I don't owe you any explanations."

"I thrash you! Someone give me a stick! I give everyone 'The Eye' unless someone give me a stick! I put the 'The Eye' on you and turn your lady parts barren!" Bella placed her fingers next to her eye more emphatically and started noticeably gearing herself up for her grand finale. "I'm having a vision!"

"Oh brother," Darcy said, not bothering to be quiet the second time. "This one is batty as all Hell."

Bella continued to ignore her and stared at me as she said, "I have a vision of smoke. I see smoke swirling around, and I see a silver-tongued fox. The fox is laughing because he looks like a lamb."

"Right," I said. "Good to know, thanks."

"The fox is laughing, and it will be your downfall! I see more, but I not tell you. The fox will teach you a lesson once and for all, Jezebel!"

"Okay," I said. "Sounds like another interesting vision. Thank you for the warning."

Bella's eyes narrowed even further and her mouth tipped down, but what she said was, "I go now. I have to lay down. I am always tired after I have a vision."

With that she turned on her heel and marched off the direction from which she'd come. A stunned stillness settled over the room, only broken when the barista cleared his throat and pushed four drinks forward and said, "for Darcy," in a shaky voice.

Darcy handed drinks out to each of us, and I started toward my car, trusting that they would follow closely behind me. I was pleased when I reached the sidewalk outside and didn't see Bella lurking anywhere. Pushing the button to remote start then unlock the car, I remained silent and thought about what Bella had said.

I settled into the driver seat and took a few sips of my drink, barely registering the sound of the rest of the car's doors slamming shut. I wasn't sure how much time had passed before Darcy said, "oh come on, Steph. You can't possibly believe that old coot! Thor said it, she doesn't have magic! He would know if she did."

Thor's large hand settled on my shoulder as I felt him push reassurance through the bond. "It is true, she is not capable of cursing you. I don't know of these visions of which she speaks, it is possible that she has some amount of The Sight, but it would be minimal. It is more likely she uses it to try to lend credence to her other false claims."

"One of my cases pretty early on involved a guy called Spiro Stiva who had these beady eyes and truthfully looked a little like a rat. He was the son of Constantine Stiva, the guy who used to own the funeral home. Through one of my cases I stumbled upon Spiro and a plot of his and, long story short, Grandma Mazur ended up burning down the funeral home with him in it. Everyone blamed me, including Constantine, the father. A few months later, Bella had a vision where she saw fire and a rat. It was the same time that Constantine Stiva started stalking, trying to scare me insane, and eventually attempting to kill me."

"You probably only think he looked like a rat because Grandma Bella put that image in your head. It was just a coincidence," Darcy said, though her voice waivered a little bit. With an inflection that told me she she was joking, Darcy went on, "besides, you probably don't know anyone who looks like a fox, right? Pointy ears? Furry face?"

I knew she was joking, but I still distractedly nodded my head and said, "nobody pops into my head as looking like a fox."

"See, there you go," Darcy sounded triumphant. "Crazy lady is crazy. End of story."


	13. The Family

Chapter 13 - The Family

"No way, my luck can't actually be this good," I muttered as I pulled up outside my parents' house.

"Well, I mean, you did just get Thor as your soulmate," Darcy reasoned.

"True," I paused to think about that. "Maybe that makes up for all the weird luck I had my whole life. And maybe I'm on a streak now because my mother's car isn't here which means she isn't home. Let's do this fast!"

Once I had the realization that it actually was happening that way, I rushed out of the car hearing the others follow suit behind me. As I reached the front door, I tapped out a quick knock then opened the door and peeked my head in.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Pumpkin?" I heard my dad yell out in response.

Nodding my head I opened the door all the way and stepped in, gesturing for the others to follow me into the house and then down the hallway to the living room. When he saw us, my dad shut off the television and levered himself out of his armchair.

"Dad, I wanted to introduce some people to you," I started, mentally cursing myself for the nerves I could hear in my voice. Gesturing Thor forward first and noting with amusement that he actually looked apprehensive, I continued, "it turns out that I have a soulmate after all, and this is him. His name is Thor, and he's-"

"Not from this world and the God of Thunder," my father supplied. "And he's going to take care of my baby."

Thor half bowed at the words before taking my dad's outstretched hand and shaking it enthusiastically, "Lady Stephanie and I shall take care of each other most carefully."

My father's eyes shifted over to me as though to ask if his mannerisms were serious, and all I could do was continue to stand there with an idiotically huge grin on my face that I was sure made it clear how happy I was.

"So if you know who he is, you know his circumstances are a little different," I began explaining once more, unsure of how he was going to take the rest of the news. "Once we bonded, we had to go to where he's from, and, well, he's a prince so there's rules for these types of things and…"

"Stephanie and I were wed," Thor cut in for me. "And happy though we are about our union, we regret that you were unable to be present."

There was a beat of silence, but before it could get awkward, my father smiled and pulled me in for a hug. "Congratulations, Steph," he whispered into my ear. "You deserve to be happy."

Once he released me, he pulled Thor forward into another handshake that turned into half man hug. Thor thumped him on the back and I barely bit back my amusement as my father staggered under the much stronger man's hand.

With that cleared up, I gestured the two women forward and added, "and these are two of my platonic soulmates. I found them all as well! This is Darcy, and this is Sif." Each woman stepped forward and took my dad's hand as I said her name, and I added, "this is my father, Frank."

I looked around the house, noting that everything looked as it always did. Though in one corner I could see a pile of perfectly ironed clothes, sheets, and what appeared to be blankets. Since ironing was my mom's stressed and upset habit, I knew she'd been around recently.

"Your mother is at the salon in the mall with your grandmother," my dad said. "It was wonderful to meet you all, but why don't you let me share the news with your mother, Stephanie."

I turned wide eyes to him and asked, "really?"

"I think it would probably be for the best. She's not too happy about what she heard about Morelli already," he told me, leaving a pregnant pause that I filled with an explanation of what had actually happened instead of what the gossips had made up. When I finished, my dad was livid, but he choked it down enough to continue. "I'll tell her that as well, though I'm not sure how much good it will do. But give it a few days and then maybe bring your husband by again to meet her. And you know Grandma Mazur is going to want to meet him."

The last was added on begrudgingly, but I could see a little uptick in the corner of his mouth that told me my father was envisioning that meeting and found the possibilities entertaining.

I was hoping I wasn't pushing my luck as I tentatively asked, "can you let her know that we won't be able to make it on Thanksgiving?" When I got a hesitant nod, I rushed to fill in, "it's just that we have to go to this thing at the White House…"

"The White House?" my father repeated.

"It is the home of the president of the United States of America," Thor provided helpfully, and I reached up and just pat him on the shoulder for trying to help.

"I don't think that's the part he's confused by," I said. "More like wondering why I'd be going there."

I said it with a kind smile to show that I wasn't upset. In fact, I still couldn't believe I was going to the White House.

"It is one of my duties as Ambassador to Midgard," Thor explained.

"Midgard is Earth," Darcy supplied.

My dad nodded, clearly dumbfounded, and I didn't want to push my luck too much with my mother being out of the house, so I pressed a kiss to his cheek and started our good byes. Within a couple minutes, we were back in the car.

"Where to-" Darcy started to ask, letting out a small shriek at my driving for the first time as I burned rubber pulling away from the curb.

Nobody said anything as I sped like a bat out of hell for five minutes before pulling to the side of the road.

"Sorry," I told them all. "I just wanted to get out of there and off any of the paths my mom might take home before we ran into her after all. If my dad is willing to take that figurative bullet for us, I'm more than happy to let him. Enough has happened over the last few weeks that I could do without getting yelled at."

A tap on Darcy's window had me jumping and reaching for a weapon before I realized it was Steve. Darcy laughed at my reaction as she rolled down her window, and accepted the kiss he pressed to her lips quickly in greeting. Then he leaned down a little further so he could look across the car to me, "everything okay? That was quite the bit of driving there."

"My mother wasn't home, and I wanted to get out of there before she returned," I answered with a cheeky grin. "This way I get credit for visiting, but I don't actually have to have that confrontation today."

I was nervous about how Steve was going to take that news, but instead of a lecture about the importance of family, all I got was a deep chuckle and a, "so, where to next?"

I turned in my seat and gestured at the stack of files sitting between Thor and Sif. Acting quickly, I managed to grab them before Darcy could swipe them away.

"But, shoes!" Darcy protested.

"It's too early for the good shoe stores to be open," I told her calmly. "Not to mention my mother is there right now. But really it's the comfort thing- if I have to meet the President you can bet I'm doing it in shoes that won't kill my feet."

When I looked over, I noticed she was pouting. It was Steve who stepped in to agree with my proposed activity saying, "these men are escaped prisoners; they need to be caught."

And there was that rousing patriotism I expected of his alter ego.

"Maybe you want Steve to take you home though," I offered her, not really paying attention as I flipped through the files. "We can come pick you up again before we go look for shoes."

"Hey, I tased Thor! I can be just as badass as anyone here," Darcy protested.

I looked up and caught Thor's eyes in the mirror as I asked, "you what?!"

What followed was a boisterous recounting of Thor's first appearance on Earth (in the past few hundred years at least), and how Darcy had felled him with her taser. I snorted out a giggle and nodded my head as both Steve and Thor reassured me that Darcy _should_ join in.

"Sounds like you're a better partner than Lula," I admitted.

"Booyah! I'm her partner!" Darcy cheered. "Thor, Sif, Steve, you're just backup. I'm her partner! Prime billing there."

I allowed the sounds of them all arguing and bantering among themselves to wash over me as I read. Ranger had done some searches for me and included what looked like copies of my original files with Plum Bail Bonds on the men, so at least we weren't starting completely from scratch.

Snapping the files shut, I nodded my head to myself.

"Which shall we look for first?" Sif asked.

"Lally and his wife lived in the projects," I said. "I know someone _should_ have informed her when he escaped from prison, but I want to make sure she knows. Sometimes these things fall through the cracks, and she's a prime candidate for that."

Steve's jaw flexed as if he understood the implication that someone of a lower income bracket might not get the treatment from law enforcement that she should. Without too much more conversation, Steve was back on his bike and I was easing back into traffic. About halfway there, I noticed another SUV sliding into the procession behind us and didn't say anything beyond a small sigh that escaped.

Pulling up into a spot on the street, I put the car into park.

"Alright, who joined us?" I asked.

"We did, Steph," I heard Clint's voice come through the comms we were all wearing.

"How did you…?" I trailed off completely baffled.

"There's a jet on top of the house," Darcy told me. "Clint would have dropped the two others off, gone to his prison, and then picked them up on the way back. That thing flies faster than the speed of sound, and it doesn't take them long to get the information they're looking for one way or another."

"There's a jet on the roof of the house? How is that even possible?" I asked. "Wouldn't that need to be reinforced or something?"

"Stark," Bucky said shortly.

"Oh, okay then," I replied as though that explained everything when it, in fact, explained nothing. I knew he was some kind of engineering genius though, so I decided to let it go for the time being. Instead I questioned, "did you find out anything useful?"

A small sigh came across the airwaves before Natasha said, "they just disappeared. Videos of the incidents are sketchy at best, they're mostly out of range of any cameras before they vanish. From what we can see, it looks like they're talking to themselves and then poof."

"Poof?" Darcy sounded as surprised as I felt. "Like spy poof?"

"No. I couldn't have vanished from where they did," Natasha said and I heard Bucky make a noise of agreement. If those two couldn't do it, I didn't think anyone could.

Everyone sat thinking about that for a few moments.

"So what's the plan here?" Steve finally asked.

Clearing my throat I said, "if she's comfortable with it, I'm taking Darcy up with me. This woman was recently abused, and you're all huge. Except for Natasha, but Natasha looks like the epitome of danger despite her size, so she's not much better."

By way of response, Darcy opened up her door and started clambering out. "Do you think he's in there?" She sounded curious as she asked, not scared, so I answered truthfully.

"I honestly don't know," I said. "Part of the reason he actually made it all the way to jail is because she cooperated this time. If he is in there, I don't think she wants him there."

Everybody was quiet on the radios as we walked into the building and up the stairwell.

Darcy jumped out and let out a little screech that I knew would have everyone on alert. "Sorry! Rat!" She blurted out almost immediately. "We are good. I just hate rats."

She kept muttering to herself, but I let it go. I may have Rex, but I wasn't overly fond of rats after the incident where hundreds of them had fallen out of the ceiling in a temporary bonds office while I was standing in it.

When we reached the door, I gently nudged Darcy off to the side so she was out of the line of fire if the unexpected happened and knocked.

Public housing doors didn't usually have much by way of security, so there was no chain, but the door still only opened a crack. Through the sliver, I asked, "Mrs. Lally?"

"Don't call me that," she insisted in barely a whisper.

"My name is Stephanie Plum, and I was the bond enforcement agent who collected your husband the last time he skipped bail. Can I come in?" I asked.

She turned her head a little to look back in her apartment, and when she returned facing me again, the door had opened just a little further. Through the widened gap, I could see bruises on her face. I paused but kept my voice steady as I said, "I wanted to make sure that you were informed that Kenyon had broken out of jail. Have you seen him?"

"No," she whispered.

Before she could think about shutting the door I stammered out, "where are your kids? It would probably be best to keep them home until he's found."

"I don't have any kids," she told me. I knew that from her folder but had wanted to double check just in case a baby had been somehow missed or something.

"Are you alone? It might be best if someone stayed with you." I tried, "or better yet. Maybe you could go stay with someone else."

Instead of answering, she shifted back minutely and moved to shut the door. Without hesitating, I pushed my hand forward surprising myself as instead of just holding it open, I accidentally pushed my hand through it. Sure, it was a cheap, hollow door, but I still hadn't been expecting that.

Still on the move, I took a moment to grab onto the woman and shove her into the hallway with Darcy. "Get her out of here," I yelled as I felt an arm clamp around my neck.

I was a little worried that Darcy wouldn't listen, but she looked over my shoulder and nodded before looking at me and nodding again. Wordlessly, she hustled Lally's wife away. I heard the stairwell door open, and allowed myself to focus back on my situation.

"Hey Kenyon," I said, willing my voice to stay calm even as I felt the press of metal against the side of my head. "How'd you get out?"

"Like I'm telling you, Bitch!" He spat out.

"Fair enough," I told him. "I don't think you've thought this through though. Killing me is only going to make things worse for you. Murder is more years than domestic violence."

"Yeah, but once I turn you in, they ain't never going to find me," he bragged. "I'm going to take my wife and disappear."

"Oh yeah? How do you figure."

"That's my prize for you," he told me.

"Prize from who?" I asked. When I didn't get an answer, I said, "your wife isn't going to agree to go with you willingly."

"She'll learn eventually."

Well that didn't sound good for the wife, but it didn't matter. Lally wasn't getting out of the situation, even if he did shoot me.

"I've got backup though," I told him. "You won't escape."

"Your backup just left you behind," he scoffed.

"Not all of it," I said just as I heard a heavy footfall that I had no doubt was a signal for me. Everyone who was backing me up could, and no doubt had, been moving silently. If I heard them, it was time to make my move.

Dropping, I turned myself into dead weight, causing Lally to momentarily lose his grasp on me. As soon as his hand released, another was grabbing me and pulling me out of the way. I felt a weight land on top of me at the same time the gun discharged and there was a grunt above me.

Moments later, Natasha's voice said, "clear, I got him."

Slowly the person on top of me rolled off and I realized it was Sif. Catching sight of her leg, I yelled, "Jesus! What were you thinking? You got shot! Why would you do that?'

"I am fine," Sif insisted even as I pulled my jacket off and started pressing it into her leg.

"You shouldn't have done that," I muttered.

Thor was suddenly there, pulling me back as Volstagg hauled Sif up and slung her unceremoniously over his shoulder. Fandral took up a position in front of us and Hogun behind us as Thor guided me to follow Volstagg back outside. I started to protest, but a look over my shoulder showed me Natasha and Clint with Lally secured, guiding him behind us a well.

"We are your Royal Guard, My Lady," Hogun insisted. "We can let no harm befall you while we still have breath in our bodies."

"To die protecting the Future Queen of Asgard would be a warrior's death fitting of Valhalla," Fandral added, sounding almost wistful.

"Please no one die for me," I pleaded.

"It is merely a flesh wound," Thor insisted. "Nobody shall die today, but perhaps in the future you will throw yourself into danger less willingly knowing that our friends will risk themselves so to protect you."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to get her out," I mumbled softly. "I figured Darcy would get you to help before he actually hurt me."

"I thought Sif and I were the best infiltration team as we were also women in case the wife saw us," Natasha said. "But we weren't leaving you in there without backup. Sorry if that was not what you wanted, but that's the way it goes. Everyone has backup unless there's a really good reason otherwise."

As we reached the SUV, I remote started it and watched as Clint shackled Lally in the back seat. By the time he was done, I looked over to see that Volstagg had already cleaned the wound on Sif's leg. She seemed remarkably upbeat, so I just sighed and began the discussion of who would go with me to turn Lally in.

After the first showing and with one of the Royal Guard mildly hurt, I was bringing the circus trailing me for the rest of the day. Might as well treat myself to some shoes then.

* * *

 **A/N:** I have successfully removed the cause of the 9 months of morning sickness from my body. She's adorable, and I'm working on getting her to let me write from time to time. Have no fear, the story is not abandoned, no matter how long it takes to finish.


	14. The Fox

**A/N:** This story is not Plum Spooky or any of the In Between stories compliant!

* * *

Chapter 14 - The Fox

The next couple days passed surprisingly quickly. Lally was questioned relentlessly, but as far as the superspies could tell, he was telling the honest to God truth when he said he had no idea how he got out of prison. One minute he'd been inside, and the next he was out with a message in his pocket promising him a life of leisure with his wife if he captured me. Given that there was no information about what to do once he captured me, and he had no idea who the note was even from, I couldn't figure how he thought it was all going to work out in his favor. He may not have been the brightest bulb, but he said he knew to just go with it when luck like that struck.

Kenny Martin had been found by U.S. Border Patrol agents. Apparently he had never been clued into the fact that crossing the border into Canada was now something that required a passport, security checks, and so on. He'd waited in an hours long line only to not have his passport when he got there. Or a driver's license. But those border patrol agents on the other hand, certainly had information on escaped convicts.

As for Kenny Mancuso, well, he was elusive. He was still on the run, hadn't shown up anywhere I knew to look for him, and thus far refrained from sending me any gifts. It was possible, of course, that he'd moved on from his desire to harm me.

Somehow I didn't think my newfound luck was _that_ good.

Still, I had ridiculously comfortable, brand new shoes paid for by my husband who swore up and down that the money was also mine. It took a lot of convincing, but once he managed, I ended up with shoes not just for the upcoming event, but also several pairs just to have because he had noticed that I'd been unable to stop staring at them.

Okay, I'd bought an entire new collection of shoes.

Then Darcy had opened her mouth talking about public appearance and expectations people would have of me. A quick trip to the mall for a pair of dress shoes had turned into a two day effort to overhaul my wardrobe. I ended up with clothes that still fit my style, but also were better tailored to my body. Sadly some more formal, business-y clothes were also added. Though no one could tell me what they were for, just that it was better to have a wide range of clothes available so I was ready no matter what came up. I caved because I figured that was easier than always dragging out a huge guard detail for single outfits.

Before I knew it, I was dressed in the nicest dress I'd ever worn, and we were on our way to the Trenton Airport. I wanted to puke.

"President Ellis is," Darcy sighed. She pursed her lips and said, "He can be kind of an asshole sometimes, but he's not 100% a dick."

"I don't know that I believe anyone is 100% a dick," Bucky said from next to her in the very back seat of the oversized SUV we were riding in. "Except HYDRA."

Steve was up in the front and snorted before agreeing with Darcy saying, "He's not too bad now. We had some trouble a few months ago with the whole HYDRA/SHIELD thing and all the Inhumans that are starting to pop up, but we're working with him on more official collaborations- like Thor's Embassador position."

"We're just lucky we caught on to what he and the UN were trying to do with the whole Sokovia Accords debacle before it got any traction," Darcy muttered. "Something tells me that wouldn't have ended well at all. I'm glad he came to you first instead of Tony or someone who doesn't handle the guilt of not being able to save everyone ever well at all."

Through our bond, I got the impression that Thor didn't think now was the time to discuss the matter, so I filed the information away to ask about at a later time. Instead I put my concentration into not freaking out about meeting the president1 and running through the flashcards Darcy had made for me of important people who were likely to be at the event. Many of them were probably embarrassing to not know already, but politics really wasn't my thing.

At least I knew who the president was and had even voted in that election.

We pulled up to the airport, and my phone started lighting up with text messages as we climbed out of the car, so I read them as I waited for Darcy and Bucky to wiggle their way out. The third row of seats in an SUV was much more suited to kids than super soldiers, but somehow Bucky managed to handle it gracefully.

I stared at the screen just long enough to lament the first good tip on Mancuso coming in when I could do nothing about it. Without a word to the others, I turned it back off without responding. Ranger would just figure we were already in flight or something and handle it himself. And Thor and the rest of the Avengers had already turned their lives upside down enough in order to let me finish out all my business in Trenton. I didn't need to cause three of them to miss an important public appearance. Especially if their footing with the government was tenuous.

I forced a smile on my face and burrowed into Thor a little, turning so we could walk to the airport; however, Steve surprised me by walking back around to the driver's door.

"What're we doing?" Darcy voiced my confusion.

"Hurry up, get in," Clint, who had come along for added security and ability to meld into a crowd, urged us all.

Once we made it into the car, Steve started driving at a much less sedate pace. I was a little jealous that his super soldier senses and reflexes allowed him to be so aggressive, honestly.

I was also a little jealous that his car had the Avengers logo on the side, which I figured was going to keep us from getting pulled over by a cop.

After a minute of tense silence in which I imagined every terrible thing that could have happened requiring an Assemble alarm to be called, Clint spoke again.

"You're not going to tell them, Steph?" He directed at me.

"Tell them what?"

"You've got work to do," Steve said from the front, sounding downright chipper.

"We're going to the Pines?" I asked. Then I couldn't stop the little shudder as I added, "at night."

"Scared of the Devil?" Clint teased.

"Okay. Someone needs to speak with actual information!" Darcy huffed out.

"There was a tip that came in on Kenny Mancuso's whereabouts," I explained. "Apparently he was seen in the Pine Barrens, but I figured this was less important than going to the White House."

"Was it not your paperwork authorizing you to catch the prisoner that made you switch to the larger purse," Thor asked. "Why bring that if you were not interested in capturing him this night?"

I allowed a small smile to play across my face at the exasperation on Thor's face when I had tried to leave my gun behind in favor of the paperwork earlier in the night. Eventually we'd compromised and I had borrowed a larger bag that didn't really go with my dress from Natasha. I'd tried to argue that I couldn't bring a weapon into the White House, but apparently Clint and Bucky had already made arrangements with the Secret Service to lock up weapons upon our arrival. What I said out loud was simply, "Well, I figured he could be at the airport or something."

"I think going after an escaped convict will be accepted as a reasonable excuse, and who knows if we catch him quickly, we may still be able to make it to part of the party," Darcy said. Then after a pause, "what is this about the Devil though?"

"There's a ghost story about a monster living in the Pine Barrens," I told her. "I've never seen it myself, but weird shit does happen there."

It seemed that Clint was a ghost story fan and found my explanation lacking because he spent the remainder of the ride weaving a detailed story that put many of Thor's to shame.

Of course the end result was Darcy insisting that she needed both Steve and Bucky with her, so we broke up into two teams of three instead of three teams of two.

I'd be fibbing if I said I wasn't happy to have Clint and his sharp eye for detail with me in addition to my hulking god of a husband.

Husband. That still felt weird to say.

We set off going in opposite directions from the SUV with comms in our ears that were stashed in the car along with an additional armory of sorts. Steve gave Darcy a leather jacket he apparently had on hand, and after Thor transformed into his armor, he took off his cape and wrapped it around me to keep me warm. Darcy and I had each stashed tennis shoes as well, thinking that our feet would be tired by the time we made it back to Trenton, so while we were still ridiculously dressed, we at least weren't in stilettos.

Clint, Thor, and I panned out, one on either side of me and both keeping me within their lines of sight. They were far enough away and moved so silently though that at times it felt I was truly alone, and it was disconcerting.

"Fucking hate this place," I muttered to myself, forgetting that everyone could hear me until their chuckles sounded in my ears. I tried to keep the whine out of my voice as I justified, "come on it's like 10 degrees colder than it was outside the Pines and it's spooky as all get out."

"Creepy as fuck," Darcy agreed over the radios.

It happened gradually.

At first the fog seemed to just lightly be rolling in from nowhere. But before I knew it, I looked up from watching my feet as I picked a path through a particularly tricky area and the clouds around me were so thick the phrase "thick as pea soup" came to mind.

"Thor?" I called out hesitantly because I could no longer make out his shape. Hell, if I held out my own hand, I couldn't even see _it_ very well. Clint had warned us about microclimates, but I had thought that referred to the Pines as a whole. What I was experiencing would seem ridiculous if it didn't feel more than a little ominous.

Receiving no response, I called out for Clint even as I tried to reach Thor through my bond with him. When all I got in return from either was more silence, I admit that I panicked.

Completing a 180, I stumbled a little and started trying to quickly make my way back in the direction from which I'd come. I was just beginning to worry about both the fact that the fog wasn't going away even though I should be somewhere I'd been before that hadn't been foggy and my inability to recognize anything when I got hit by a brick wall.

At least that's how it felt. The reality was that I was tackled off my feet by Kenny Mancuso.

My breath was pushed out of my lungs momentarily, but once I caught it, I managed to stammer out, "Kenny Mancuso you're under arrest-" before I was cut off by laughter.

Okay, I had to admit whoever was laughing had a point because I really didn't have the upper hand at that particular moment, but what Mancuso didn't know was that I wasn't the same person he'd previously encountered.

I called upon everything Sif taught me as well as my improved physicality to fight back and quickly get him under control. Before I could pull the plastic ties I'd stuck there (for lack of a better location) out of my shoes, I had the sensation of flying again.

That time I hadn't been hit by a person or felt anything other than the rush of air, but there was a blinding white light around me. My head connected with a tree hard, so I was more than a little fuzzy when the light died down and I could try to blink my sight clear once more. Stunned, I began to wonder about how concussions would affect the new me when my eyes locked on none other than Odin standing before me.

"Whaaa?" I slurred out, realizing the concussion was a definite yes, but Odin was still there and I really didn't think I was hallucinating.

Odin was making a disapproving noise before he finally said, "I expected better of you. Has that mindless oaf been neglecting his duty to train you as much as he is his duty to protect you at this moment? Always one to be so easily fooled by my illusions, he happily walks further and further from you at this very moment, unaware that anything is amiss."

Okay, I knew my head was messed up and I was a no doubt little slow because of the injury, but even I knew Odin wasn't a sorcerer. Granted, he was the All-Father and I knew that meant he could do all manner of things. But from what I understood, even if he was capable of conjuring illusions, they weren't his style.

"Come on, stand up," the fake Odin yelled at his accomplice, clearly frustrated. "She's right there for the taking. You shall have your revenge, as shall I get to enjoy watching my brother mourn his loss and wallow in the guilt of knowing he failed to protect his lady love!"

"Loki," I gasped out finally, unable to stop a shriek when he transformed before my eyes. Where Odin once stood was a slender man in light golden armor with green robes under it and a ridiculous hat with antlers on his head.

"That took you long enough, Midgardian," he taunted, clearly meaning the last word as an insult.

As Mancuso approached where I laid on the ground, still too dizzy to stand, I tried to run through everything that I'd heard about Loki while on Asgard. I was digging for anything that might get me out of my predicament.

Unfortunately, he had been a bit of a taboo topic, so I only had shaky memories of casual references here and there to consult. But, as I took a mental tally of each Asgardian I'd met and what they said, one unrelated memory came to mind. A promise of sorts that had been made to me.

Gathering myself as best I could, I waited. As soon as Kenny got within striking distance, I launched myself at him, latching on as I yelled, "Heimdall! Open the Bifrost!"

I was awash in a sea of light once more, and panicked for a few seconds thinking it was the light Loki's magic again. Immediately, however, I was relieved when I felt a pulling sensation I had felt once before, and I dug my fingers into Mancuso's clothes more confidently as I heard him let out a frightened scream.

When we came crashing down, I felt my head crack on the ground and a voice shouting before telling me it was okay to let my prisoner go before I lost track of everything and blacked out.

I came to as I had on my first trip to Asgard, all at once. This time though I did not realize any time had passed, and I immediately began rolling to the side trying to get into a defensive position and yelling, "Heimdall! Odin is Loki!"

I was cut off from further explanation by yelping as I somehow fell off the floor, only realizing when I landed on a plush rug that I was no longer on the floor of the Bifrost room. Rather I had actually been on a bed before I bailed over the side of it.

"Stephanie!" Thor yelled in surprise, and I felt him come around to my side just quickly enough to gently pull back my hair as I vomited up whatever was left in my stomach all over the beautiful floor.

When I finished, he carefully plucked me up and set me on the bed again, soothing away my mumbled apologies before stepping back to allow the healer access to me.

As she waved the wand like device over me that she'd used on my first visit to Asgard, I felt a tingling followed by rapid relief.

"I didn't know that could heal in addition to scan," I told her. "Thank you."

"It brings the body back to peak form quickly in most any situation; however, it works best for blows to the head when you are in a waking brain pattern," she simply replied before nodding her head in satisfaction and leaving the room.

"That was abrupt," I muttered before trying to call out thanks to some servants who had cleaned up the mess I'd left on the floor and were also scurrying out of the room.

When I moved to sit up, Thor assisted me as he apologized, "I am most sorry for allowing harm to befall you."

"Thor, it wasn't your fault. Look... you know how you believed Loki was dead…" I trailed off not really sure how to broach the subject.

To my great consolation, Thor cut off further explanation by reassuring me, "Once Heimdall realized Loki was not Odin, he was able to intercede on your behalf, and was free to relay to me everything that had occurred."

The silence that followed wasn't exactly awkward, but it was heavy. Finally I asked the million dollar questions, "where is the real Odin? And how long has Loki been pretending to be him?"

"I do not know," Thor told me. "I believe Loki may have hidden Odin on Midgard."

"And Loki?" I kept the shake out of my voice as I asked, "did anyone manage to capture him?"

"I was not aware he was even there until Heimdall opened the Bifrost and brought me to see to you. Sif and the Warriors three are scouring your Pine Barrens looking for him, but I fear he has long left. And I know not to where."

I let out a sigh, "so does that mean we are going back to Midgard? Or do you need to stay here and rule?"

"I go to Midgard, though I will not be able to remain in Trenton. I need to return to the Avengers base so that I may have easier access to come and go on the Bifrost daily. You are welcome to stay wherever you prefer and join me on the journeys or not as you desire. I have no doubt that it will be exhausting if you accompany me."

"I will stay with you anytime you will let me," I reassured him, being able to tell through the bond how badly he wanted me with him, but knowing he was still shrouded with guilt that I had been hurt and unwilling to ask me to put myself in more potentially dangerous situations.

He smiled at me gratefully and said, "I will try to make it worth your while and as comfortable as possible." Then he stood to full height and held out his hand, squeezing mine when I gave it to him. "If you are feeling well enough, we should start by returning your prisoner to Midgard and the proper authorities. I do not believe he will cause you further problems, as I understand he has been quite intimidated by Asgardian prison and his fellow prisoners."

* * *

A/N: Oh my Thor! A new chapter!


	15. What If

**A/N:** Chapter 14 has been revised to correct some Kenny confusion. Kenny Martin had already been captured at the beginning of Chapter 14. It is Kenny Mancuso that Steph captured in the Pine Barrens.

* * *

 **Chapter 15 - What if...**

A few minutes and one short hammer ride later, Thor and I were walking back into Heimdall's observatory.

"It is good to see you well once more, My Lady," Heimdall called as we approached.

"I feel great," I agreed as I grabbed him into a tight hug. "Thank you so much for your help."

Heimdall stiffened up in a way that made me think he didn't get many hugs. Also, it was possible that me hugging him was actually highly scandalous on Asgard, but all I felt through my bond with Thor was amusement, so I figured he didn't really care.

"I will always help you, so long as I am able," Heimdall replied. Then his tone turned bitter as he added, "But I find I must apologize that it took me so long to come to your aid."

Thor's expression was unreadable, so I rushed to offer my reassurance even if Thor wouldn't. "Heimdall, how could you have known? It was magic."

"I have born witness to Loki's deeds and tricks in the past," Heimdall disagreed. "I should have recognized-"

"It is done," Thor cut in. "We can speculate all we like on whether you should have seen through his sorcery or I should have recognized that the man before me was not my own father as I believed. However, at the end of the day, it matters not. For the truth has been uncovered, and thankfully there was no lasting damage done. Lady Stephanie has been returned to full health once more, and we must now attempt to find Loki and bring him to justice again!"

Heimdall stared at Thor for a minute as though expecting to be fired or struck down by a lightning bolt. When neither happened, he slowly nodded and asserted, "you believe Loki is on Midgard, my king?"

"I am not King; not yet!" Thor shouted. "Until we learn the fate of Odin, All-Father, we must assume that Loki has merely shielded him from your gaze much as he has himself as he desires. Keep watch, and you know how to reach me if I am needed here on the throne in the interim or if you catch a glimpse of my brother."

I'd never heard the word "brother" sound so sad before, and there was a heaviness upon us this time as Thor and Heimdall exchanged a few more words then grasped hands.

I could feel some concern and anxiety that didn't seem to be through Thor's bond, so I was eager to get back and reassure my hoard of platonic soulmates in case it belonged to one or more of them. As such, I was relieved when Thor set his hand on my back and guided me toward the Bifrost landing area.

Two of the Royal Guard were standing with my prisoner just off to the side, but still well within the circle that I thought designated the boundaries for being swept off and transported.

Once we were in the center of the circle, Thor turned me to face him fully and grabbed onto my waist to hold me steady as he nodded to Heimdall over my head.

"Bye-" I tried to yell, only to trail off as I realized we were already en route.

When the light around us dissipated, I looked around to see that we were standing in the yard of the Avenger's HQ. First I checked that the guards were there with Mancuso, and allowed Thor to lead me off to the side when Steve and Bucky each grabbed Mancuso by an arm and firmly moved him toward the building.

"Alright there, Steph?" Clint asked looking completely miserable when my gaze found him.

Remembering that I had disappeared from under his watchful gaze that night just as much as Thor's, I rushed over to reassure him with a hug. "I am fine. Asgard has great healers, and I got my man."

The last was said with a point of my thumb in the direction Steve and Bucky had gone. As I did, I noticed that they were walking not to the building but rather toward an SUV with the U.S. Marshall's logo on it, and I was relieved to realize that the escaped convict saga was over.

Unless Loki had broken anyone else out. But there would be plenty of time to ask about that later.

For the time being, I looped my arm through Thor's once more and started walking toward the building with the housing saying, "let Thor and I get settled in, and we can all go over everything once more."

As we made it through the door to our suite, I could sense Thor relax a little. He hadn't liked being on Asgard without Odin's protection, unsure of if or when Loki would strike. And he probably hadn't liked being out in the open on the lawn either, for that matter.

But here in our space, he let down his guard a little. Mjolnir was set down on a bench that someone had placed at the foot of our bed while we were away. Since there was a hand knit placemat in the middle with a depiction of Mjolnir for the hammer to sit on, I could only assume that someone was Darcy.

I snorted out a laugh of amusement at that detail, remembering Darcy telling me that she liked to suck up to "Mew Mew" in the hopes of one day becoming worthy.

While I was distracted staring down at the new set-up, Thor was busy stripping off his armor. When he was done, I felt him settle in behind me and wrap his arms around to pull me into his chest.

I would never want to go up against the man in a fight- he was huge. So much larger than me. Yet when he encircled me, I didn't feel scared or fragile. He had this way about him that made me feel stronger and more self-assured. Even while I relaxed, my shoulders straightened back and I stood just a little taller.

Perhaps it was because of the bond, but I was certain the action made him smile. He sounded even lighter as he said, "are you well, Wife?"

I took a deep breath, soaking in his presence and the scent of him. Then I nodded and leaned my head further back into his shoulder. Tipping my chin up, I looked at him and smiled, "I feel wonderful."

"Did you have any questions about the healer?" Thor asked while reaching a hand up and sliding it through my hair.

"I don't think I care what she did," I responded lazily. "I feel so much better now. Possibly even better than ever before."

"They worked on the other systems of your body while you were asleep. Refreshing you and ensuring everything was at its peak. In truth, I think they find you a most interesting subject. They surely were more involved and did more than you required."

"Because I'm your wife?" I asked. "Or because I'm Midgardian."

"Both." Thor bent down to press a kiss to the back of my neck before adding, "But mostly the latter. And not just any Midgardian, but a Midgardian whose body has adjusted to be mated with an Asgardian. If you allowed them, they would study you every visit."

"I don't know…" I told him uneasily. "I don't really want to be some sort of medical experiment."

Before I could explain further, Thor rushed to reassure me, "nor does anyone expect you to. They are merely curious. If you are ever uncomfortable in their presence, simply tell them. Or you can alert Sif or I, and we will handle the matter."

We returned to a peaceful silence for a few more minutes before I pulled away slowly. I turned so I was facing Thor and took his hands up in mine.

"I think I want a shower," I declared. When Thor started to let go of my hands, I squeezed them tighter and shook my head. "You should join me."

Thor's smile deepened from one of happiness into something darker and more intense as he replied, "what fine ideas you have, My Mate."

I grinned at him then dropped one hand, turning and dragging him behind me with the other as I began to make a dash for the bathroom. Just a couple steps in, Thor tugged me back then picked me up and threw me over his shoulder.

As soon as we made it into the room, he turned on the shower to warm to the correct temperature. Then he ever so gently set me on my feet once more before leaning down to give me a kiss.

It began soft, almost like getting reacquainted. I let off a happy sigh, and Thor pressed in more urgently. His tongue slid into my mouth as his hands slid to undo my utility belt and place it on the counter off to the side. Once the weapons were stowed, he became more demanding.

In some corner of my mind, I was fairly certain I heard a ripping noise as my clothes left my body. Count that as another thing I couldn't bring myself to worry about at the moment.

In the ensuing seconds, Thor got rid of both our clothes. And while I was busy admiring the experience that was my husband's naked body, he maneuvered us into the shower together. I'd had my hair in a ponytail, so I reflexively reached up and pulled out one loop and then my hair part way up, leaving it in a messy bun to keep it out of the water. I didn't feel like washing it and then having to dry and style it afterward.

I had better things to do.

They were named Thor.

Surprisingly, we mostly kept our hands to ourselves. Instead of the standard soaping each other as foreplay, we each kept our eyes locked on the other. Through our bond, I could feel Thor's arousal. That of course fed into mine, which he obviously felt winding us up more and more without having to touch. I could feel slickness building between my thighs more effectively than almost any time of preparation I'd experienced before and was struck with an almost debilitating level of NEED.

Rinsing myself off, I found my voice once more, "clean?" I asked.

Thor bowed his head in agreement and wordlessly reached out for our towels. After I stepped out, I danced away when he tried to reach for me. Quickly, I made my way over to the sinks and did a perfunctory scrubbing of my teeth.

Finally, I felt clean enough to actually get sexy. I spun around to face Thor who was waiting patiently and smiled up at him as I dropped my towel.

The smile left his face, replaced by pure desire as he strode forward. His hand came up to my hair and dug in, somehow gently pulling it loose of its confines so it was falling to my shoulders even as our kisses resumed.

I jumped, knowing he would catch me, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I groaned as he stepped forward and I felt his erection press against me.

Just a few steps later, we were in the room. Thor bent over, reluctant to separate our lips as he laid me down on the bed.

I knew he would be prone to taking things easy on me given my (already healed) injury, and that wasn't what I wanted at all.

Remembering his enthusiasm on our wedding night, I pulled away and crab walked further onto the huge bed under his watchful gaze. Once I'd made it more or less to the middle, I rolled to my belly.

Tilting my head down so that I could look back at Thor, I raised my hips just enough that I could reach one hand under myself and play with my clit.

"I want to feel you," I urged. "I need to know that you're here-"

I trailed off, voice cracking and not really wanting to delve too deeply into the fears I'd had when I realized I was alone with Loki and Kenny Mancuso. There would be plenty of time for that later, for the moment, I just needed to feel alive. To feel Thor around me and in me and let the desire consume us both.

No doubt reading me loud and clear through the bond, Thor quickly moved into place behind me. "I am here," he growled out as he shoved his way inside of me, his way eased by the arousal I'd felt in the shower.

Once he had pressed in fully, we paused only for a second to take in the sensation. Then all our pent up anxiety exploded and there was nothing soft or gentle about the rhythm Thor set. The angle he was moving in was great, but I knew it could get better. Shifting my hips a little and adjusting my knees on the bed, I rearranged us so that Thor could hit the perfect spot on every thrust.

As soon as he made contact, I almost turned into mush losing it, but his hands came down and grabbed onto me, holding me in place. A few more strokes and all I knew was the drive for release. My hand got busy, switching from toying to a more purposeful rhythm under me.

I screamed out Thor's name as I came, amazed when he didn't follow me over the cliff. Instead he slowed his pace and added a hip roll to it. It was just enough to draw out my climax. Once I was done, he pulled out and encouraged me to tip onto my side.

From there, he hiked up my leg and laid down behind me, pressing in once more. It was the kind of experience that changed your viewpoint on spooning forever. Because he immediately found that magical angle once more, but this time he had a hand free to roam around my body, hitting all my erogenous zones until I was shattering all over again. That time, I felt his release inside of me, and a sense of rightness washed over me.

With a sigh of contentment, I reached overhead to grab a pillow and pull it down. I lifted my head up enough to slide it under and was pleased when Thor took the back half and rested his head on it as well as he settled in behind me, keeping us firmly pressed together.

I didn't know if it was the way of soul bonds, but laying there peacefully in full body contact with each other and basking in the postcoital glow felt like it was charging me in a way even the healers had been unable to.

I allowed myself to float a little and it was as though the experience bolstered my soul. What was coming would be tough, but these moments were helping me prepare. They also allowed me to subconsciously filter through thoughts and everything that had happened since meeting Thor.

"Thor?" I asked a good while later once my brain exited dream land and brought be into reality again. I pulled away and flopped onto my back, laughing a little as he did the same.

"Yes, Steph?" He asked, rolling onto his side once more so he was leaned over me and could see my face.

I reached a hand up to stroke over one perfect pec before using my other hand to pull it away and shook myself. I had something serious to discuss.

"You said Loki is a very powerful sorcerer, right?"

"Yes," Thor agreed, expression becoming more serious as he realized the basking was over for now. He heaved himself out of bed and started dressing, so I followed suit as he added, "And I fear his time spent with the Mind Stone and the Space Stone has taught him even more tricks. Perhaps more than we will ever know."

"The what stone?"

"In the words of the collector: 'Before creation itself, there were six singularities. Then the universe exploded into existence, and the remnants of these systems were forged into concentrated ingots... Infinity Stones.'" Thor explained.

"Ooookayyyy," I said slowly, trying to wrap my head around the information. I wasn't sure who "The Collector" was, but that seemed like the least important part, so I dismissed it.

As I opened my mouth to ask more, Thor guided me out to the common rooms as he explained. "There are six stones, each with unique capabilities related to the aspect of the universe they represent. Loki has wielded both the Mind Stone and the Space Stone, though his time with the Mind Stone was much longer. The stone is with Vision now for safe keeping for he is worthy."

"So these stones gave him the ability to control minds and… space? Is that how he opened up that portal in New York during The Battle?" I asked. It was something I'd always wanted to know.

"That is correct, though a simplification of all that is capable when one wields the stones," Thor told me.

I could sense the sorrow flowing off of Thor through our bond, and probably wouldn't be able to fully understand a more detailed explanation at this point anyway, so I let it go. It seemed the answer to my most pressing question was that, yes, Loki was an extremely skilled sorcerer, and even Thor didn't fully understand his abilities.

"Has he always been interested in Midgard?" I questioned, noticing that the others were starting to gather around as they realized what we were discussing.

Sif settled into my side, seeming to be the soulmate other than Thor who was taking my attack in the woods the hardest, even though she wasn't even there. She was the one who responded, "yes. We made trips here in our youth, and he always seemed to think himself above Midgardians. He was fascinated with their dynamics and obviously feels that he is fit to rule over them."

"And you're old, right? So these trips... were they as long ago as maybe even hundreds of years?"

Thor's eyes twinkled with amusement at being called old, but still he nodded his head. Then his demeanor changed once more toward concern as he added, "what is it that troubles you? I vow I will do better protecting you from Loki!"

"It wasn't your fault," I reassured him for what felt like the hundredth time and I knew wouldn't be the last. I blew out a breath, sure that everyone would think I was crazy, but once the idea had gotten into my head, I couldn't get it back out. I needed to put it out there so that they could dismiss it and reassure me. "I was thinking about the Jersey Devil."

"That's just a ghost story, Steph," Clint told me, offering me a wry smile. "Local legend."

"Thor was just an old Norse mythological god," Darcy interjected.

When most made noises of agreement to Darcy's point, I worried my lip a little. Maybe it wasn't crazy. In which case, I was at least a tiny bit scared.

"Well, the legend of the Jersey Devil dates back, what, two or three hundred years?"

"Almost three," Steve answered, seemingly engrossed in his phone.

"I taught him Wikipedia," Darcy in explanation of the fact that Steve of all people would focus on his phone rather than a conversation he was in the middle of.

"Ah," I responded. "Anyway, there's this whole origin myth thing about the Leeds family that who knows how it came about, but the Jersey Devil is used to explain away all kinds of odd occurrences and, frankly, weird and frightening shit that happens in and around the Pine Barrens in particular. Allegedly people have even seen the Devil over the years.

"There are all kinds of different descriptions for what the Jersey Devil looks like, some saying he can fly, other that he has the head of a goat with horns. And…". I took a deep breath and then just blurted it out, "is there a chance that Loki has created, I don't know, some kind of base of operations for himself in the Pine Barrens? I mean, he wears those horns right? What if..."

I trailed off and Clint finally spoke in an awed voice, "Loki is the Jersey Devil?"

I waved my hand and nodded at him to indicate that was what I had been building up to, and then I looked around the room. Much to my dismay, everybody seemed to be thinking about it, and nobody was rushing to call me crazy.


	16. Odin

Chapter 16 - Odin

After I posed the Loki as Jersey Devil theory, things slipped into a few minutes of general chaos. People were arguing back and forth the merits of the idea, and slowly but surely coming to the consensus that it was the best lead any of us had for the moment.

But as much as most wanted to storm off and start a grid search of the Pine Barrens, we'd already proven once that Loki's sorcery in that area could best us. And nobody seemed to really know how to go about finding him if he chose to hide himself using illusions. Not to mention containing him even if we did capture him would be difficult.

Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three seemed to think they needed Odin to accomplish both captuer and imprisonment, and we weren't sure where he was, other than presumably somewhere Loki had put him.

But finding people was my thing.

"I have a question," I began slowly, trying to choose my words carefully because family is always such a tricky subject. "From what you've told me about your childhood and then the Loki adoption thing, your banishment, etc. etc. your father seems like… not the best…"

"To be sure the All-Father was more focused on politics and raising the next king than he was on showing love to his sons," Thor agreed.

"So, I mean… how is it that _he's_ worthy? You said he has a staff thing, but how can he wield it if he's not? He'll be of no help to us!"

Thor let out a small chuckle, but pat my hand to let me know he wasn't laughing at me.

"One must be worthy in order to lift Mjolnir because of an enchantment Odin put on it before he exiled me. When I first arrived, spoiled and entitled, I myself was unworthy. He used his own staff to create the enchantment, but that staff bears no such enchantment."

"Could Loki have put one on it?" I pressed on with my questions while we still had time because who knew when the Avengers would be called out?

"Nay," Thor sounded so sure of himself I was instantly put at ease. "It is most loyal and works best for the rightful king of Asgard. Though Loki can wield it and has in the past, Odin All-Father is much more powerful and will have control over it."

"Then why doesn't he just call it to himself?" I asked. Magic and aliens were confusing.

"It is truly a special gift that my mother provided you: to be able to summon across realms. I cannot do this; if Mjolnir is on Midgard and I am anywhere on Midgard, I can call it to me. However, I cannot make Mjolnir do my bidding if I an on Midgard and it is on Asgard. It is the same for my father."

"Huh," I replied because really what more could I say to that? Except… "but Loki has been on Midgard, so if Odin is here, why didn't he summon it then?"

Thor pondered that for a moment, "I believe Loki must have thought of that and done something to prevent it. That or Odin simply gave up trying. There is no way he could know when it is on Midgard and when it is not."

I shot up from my seat and cried out enthusiastically, "that's IT!"

"What is it?" Thor asked looking alarmed and grabbing up Mjolnir. His eyes began scanning constantly for a threat, so I ran a hand down his bicep to soothe him before continuing.

"That's how we find him! Remember what you told me about your first trip to New Mexico? Darcy hit you with her car and took you to the hospital, and nobody believed you when you told them who you were or anything else."

"It wasn't _exactly_ my fault-" Darcy protested, only to have Bucky jab her with his elbow gently and shush her.

"Indeed," Thor nodded solemnly. "And then the people at the hospital drugged me when I tried to fight them."

"They were getting ready to send him to the Psych Ward," Darcy agreed.

"Exactly!" I pressed an excited kiss to Thor's forehead before I explained. "If you were trying to hide the powerful All-Father on Midgard and contain him, you'd need to make sure he couldn't think that clearly or call out for his primary weapon when you were also on Midgard.

"And what better way to do that than get him committed to a mental hospital? Bring him in sedated or high on something that would make him seem crazy. If you do it right, they'll keep him medicated all the time and that will prevent pretty much everything Loki would be concerned about!"

"Okay, but which one? I assume there are many of these places on Midgard," Sif said. Then she seemed to realize how that sounded and added, "simply because it is so large, not because Midgardians are mad."

"There really aren't as many as you might think," Sam started. "Mental health is woefully underfunded in the US. But now isn't the time for that discussion."

"So far Loki has shown a propensity for New York," I reasoned slowly. "I say we start in the city and work our way outwards."

"You can't just have someone committed indefinitely," Darcy began to argue. "There are laws-"

"There are ways," Natasha said, sharing a look with Clint that I didn't really want to contemplate too thoroughly. I was pretty sure the spies had been involved in some very grey stuff in their lives, especially when you considered that they had accidentally been working for HYDRA for some of those years even once they thought they had gone to the good side.

"What about that place-" Clint agreed.

"Birch!" Natasha said snapping her fingers and pointing at Clint who was nodding along. "There are doctors and staff there who, if you have a good enough story or deep enough pockets, will break the rules. And we used it-"

Clint took over when she hesitated saying, "before the Battle of New York. Which means that I knew about it when Loki took over my mind. He knows about it too."

"Let's start there then," I told the group. "If we can't find him there, we'll regroup search elsewhere."

I'd always thought Ranger and his men planned ops fast, but they looked like sloths compared to the Avengers. I was pleased to find that Thor continued to support me being involved in the mission, not once protesting that it was too dangerous for me.

No, that was for my guards to protest, especially once I had decided that most of the Avengers and Warriors Three were all too conspicuous to go in themselves covertly. Natasha was a master of her own brand of illusions, and the only one of them likely to be able to go in without an elaborate costume and still go unrecognized.

As my cover was going to be that I was a wealthy woman who wanted my abusive husband locked away without creating a scene, I was adamant that I not have a guard of huge men around me. It didn't seem in character. Not when I had two perfectly intimidating women at my disposal.

There were a lot of terms and references to things that made the training of EVERYONE else associated with the Avengers very clear, and I couldn't hope to follow it all. I'd have to ask later to be trained the same way that it seemed Darcy was, so she could help when needed. But for the time being, I was reassured that I wouldn't get in the way or need to play into really any part of making the plan work.

I would just need to go with the flow, and I was experienced with that! There was no way I would have lived as long as I had as a bounty hunter otherwise.

And so early the next day, I was seated in a limo with four kickass women. Natasha and Sif were dressed to fill the part of my security detail. Both were visibly armed with the expectation they'd turn those weapons over, so I was pretty sure they had some things stashed that they were going to sneak in somehow as well.

Darcy and I were dressed nicely but casually, and we were relying on the fact that we were both white brunettes to allow us to pass as cousins. And finally we'd swung by Stark Industries along the way and picked up Pepper Potts who would be vouching for me as a member of "Society" and someone with the financial means to afford to buy off the staff of a mental hospital. Though the alias connected with Pepper that she was using was old, Natasha seemed certain it was safe enough for this mission and had set up the appointment.

Pepper had a briefcase with her and seemed ready to actually pay people if necessary, but that wasn't in the plan. At least I was hoping we wouldn't be making anyone there richer because the idea of being able to be locked into an insane asylum if somebody rich enough to afford it wanted you to be really creeped me out.

As we pulled up to our destination, I tried one more time to warn everyone that I was a disaster and things tended to go screwy when I was involved, but nobody seemed overly concerned. They were used to screwy.

When we stepped inside, there was more security than anticipated in plans A through C, but I knew there were more plans than that on the table anyway. My question as to how they were going to sneak in the extra weapons they had and the tablet needed for hacking was answered in amazing fashion.

The other women started by standing back and allowing Pepper to lead the way across the lobby and announce our scheduled meeting before seamlessly moving toward the security setup. She set her briefcase down and security inspected it while she walked through the metal detectors where it was handed back to her.

When it was my turn, Sif and Natasha both protested from where they had been off to the side, surrendering and logging their weapons, saying one of them needed to go through first. Basically they were creating some confusion among the staff.

Pepper, now holding her briefcase, went back through the metal detectors as though she was trying to see what the problem was, and in the process, she set it off.

"Pepper," Darcy giggled, taking the briefcase from her while security got distracted trying to silence the alarms. As I watched, Darcy managed to crack the case ever so slightly open while swinging it around so that everything inside fell out. Papers went everywhere, but Darcy waved off assistance as she scrambled to pick it all up, acting flustered but slipping the small tablet in with everything that had originally been inside as she righted it. I thought I might have seen a flash of something more slide in from her sleeve, but I couldn't say for sure.

Pepper had gone back through the detector, and not a few seconds after the guards had reset the alarm, Darcy started to pass the suitcase through the metal detectors and set the horns blaring once more.

Natasha and Sif had stayed off to the side, and Sif did a very convincing facepalm while she started muttering to herself as she stepped forward to grab the briefcase. In a sleight of hand that would have made any magician jealous and was only visible to me as the only person behind her, Sif cracked the case open and shook two small daggers into it from inside her coat.

It was barely in Sif's hands long enough for her to pass it wordlessly over to Natasha who made a show of laughing and smiling at the guard working the metal detector.

Watching Natasha work was a awe inspiring. She flirted with the various men while walking with the case. Her hands dipped into it several times as she crossed the distance to the detector, but they were too bewitched to notice. Once she was there, my heart almost stopped watching her open the case fully and flash a glimpse inside it to the guy before he nodded and she buckled it shut. She gave it to him again, hand gliding down and swiping his badge as he turned to hand the briefcase to Pepper.

Once it was in Pepper's hands, it took everything in me to keep from letting out either a sigh of relief or a laugh. I wasn't sure which. How Natasha had shown the man a briefcase now full of weapons and gotten him to accept it as safe, I didn't know.

When Sif indicated that she would like to go through security next, the man gestured for her to move through which she did swiftly. I followed suit and then made eye contact with Natasha when I turned to look back at her and Darcy.

I was pretty sure she was trying to tell me something with her gaze, but I had no idea. Before I could panic about not having been fully brought into the plans, things started moving ones more.

I was completely unprepared when Darcy tripped on her way through the metal detectors, grabbing the sides to keep from falling but still setting off the alarms once more. At the exact second the noise started up and the guards were distracted by Darcy, Natasha winged the security pass she'd swiped off the guard through the air right at me. I didn't know I could move that fast or smoothly, but somehow I managed to catch it.

Knowing I needed to disguise the motion I hid the card in the palm of the hand that caught in. And in one motion, I brought that that arm across my body to cover my mouth with the elbow and fake a cough. I tucked the card under my opposite armpit and gave a soft, "excuse me" after I was done coughing when a couple startled guards looked over at me.

Darcy made a self deprecating joke then walked through the metal detector quickly, followed swiftly by Natasha who still looked calm and collected.

Now that we were all through, Pepper smiled and said, "well that was exciting isn't it? Sorrry to put you through your paces like that. Guess I should have gotten some more coffee in everyone on our way over. Now I'm afraid I'm on a tight schedule, and we're running late. Nobody told me there would be this much fanfare for the meeting. If we could just get moving..." she trailed off and gestured impatiently into the hospital.

The guards seemed unsuspicious about anything that had happened, whether because we were women or because they didn't really care, I didn't know, but we were walked through the hospital at a brisk pace and left outside of an office after the security guard drew the attention of the assistant guarding the door.

The woman raised her phone and murmured softly into it before getting up and opening the door, gesturing us to go in and saying, "right this way." The man sitting behind the desk introduced himself as Ian Prescott to Pepper first, leaning across the desk to shake her hand. Natasha gracefully stepped forward and took the briefcase out of Pepper's hand so Pepper could return the gesture. Pepper in turn introduced Darcy and I, and the three of us took seats across from his desk while Natasha and Sif settled silently into the background.

Bodyguards didn't get introduced.

Sitting across from Dr. Prescott who seemed to be some sort of administrator level doctor at the facility, I looked around. On our way in, it had been clear that the facility had seen better days. But now that we were in the bowels of the building, shut into this man's office, it was hard to keep a shiver from running down my spine.

Something about the place just felt... sinister.

I made a point to remain quiet and meek, allowing Darcy to speak emphatically on my behalf and advocate for me with Pepper stepping in occasionally to lend her gravitas to the situation.

I was pretty sure the man didn't even care. He just wanted his payoff, which meant we were going to need to act fast.

While Darcy was talking about my ex, I made a show of acting more and more upset, eventually stumbling to my feet with a hand over my mouth. Natasha grabbed my elbow and steered me out of the room, mumbling the words "bathroom" and "needs a minute" to the surprised assistant, but she did not wait for the woman to rise and attempt to guide us. We'd passed one on the way in, so it was entirely reasonable for the woman to assume we knew where we were going.

Of course as the hallway was clear of people, we didn't even bother enter the restroom, instead we slipped into the closet a few doors down. Curiously I watched as Natasha opened the briefcase and it momentarily appeared to contain the papers Pepper had brought and nothing more. Then she pushed a button on the side, and something flickered, allowing us to see the actual contents.

"Cool," I muttered, catching a ghost of a smile on Natasha's lips as she pulled out an earpiece for each of us and handed me mine. As I slipped it in, she asked, "what do you have for me?"

"Stark's scanners didn't do as well as we'd hoped. The walls seem to be thicker than expected. Maybe reinforced concrete, rather than plaster," Clint's voice answered.

Nodding, Natasha pulled out a small cube, unfolding it to reveal a tiny handheld drone that came silently to life. She pushed a button and it cloaked just like the Avenger's jet. She cracked the door, and I assumed it went out. Then she walked over to a panel in the wall and hummed in satisfaction after she pried it opened. She unwrapped a cord from around the outside of the tablet Darcy had placed in the briefcase.

As she was plugging it in, the door opened. I jumped in surprise, pulling myself into a fighting stance even as I registered that Darcy was slipping into the room with us. She walked over to the briefcase and took an earpiece before taking Natasha's spot.

The door opened once more and Pepper and Sif joined us, and as they connected to comms, Pepper was saying, "Prescott and his assistant have both been given the Tetrodotoxin O. They're out of our way, but who knows how long until they'll be found."

Darcy made a face and asked, "Tetrodotoxin O? I thought it was B?"

Pepper smiled, "it's Tony's special formulation. The O stands for 'obliviate' because he perfected it at the end of a two night science binge during which he had the Harry Potter movies running. Apparently someone made a reference he didn't understand, so he just had to watch immediately. Anyway, Dr. Prescott and his assistant won't remember our visit when they wake up, and once you alter the logs so there's no record that we were here. I'll call and apologize for missing without notice."

"We'll dose the guards on the way out," Natasha explained half paying attention while watching her phone. "Or in the ensuing fight if it comes to that."

"Well, I'll be damned," Clint exclaimed suddenly at the same time I felt a swift, ugly tangle of emotions from Thor that seemed to predominantly include anger and dismay.

"Found him?" I asked Natasha when she looked up.

She nodded and her body language completely changed as she yanked off her outer layer of clothing to reveal her Black Widow uniform.

Seconds later she was out the door and Darcy was hufling out an affronted breath as she disconnected and we all took off running after Natasha.

I had all new respect for the Black Widow as I watched her move in a blur, taking out guards and leaving the rest of us nothing to do but try to keep up as she blazed a path to our destination. Minutes later we were standing outside a cell looking in at Odin who appeared catatonic.

"Thor, we'll need you for evac," she spoke for the first time since her rampage had begun. "He's unresponsive and I don't think I want Sif tied up carrying him if we meet resistance on the way out. Plus this way his breakout will obviously have been from the outside, and it shouldn't make anyone wonder if Pepper was involved."

Seconds later the wall burst inward. Thor's eyes connected with mine and I felt his relief through our bond before he stopped forward, picked up his father, and used Mjolnir to fly back out the hole he'd created.

Natasha had disabled enough guards and everything had happened quickly enough that we made it back out to the lobby without running into any more resistance. When we reached it, Clint, Steve, and Bucky were lined up sitting on the long security desk by the door waiting. The rest of the guards were passed out, presumably from more of the Tetrodoxin O since we didn't want them to remember us either. Nothing more was said until we climbed into the limo and were on our way once more.

"Well, that was easy," Darcy exclaimed.

Natasha let out a small laugh and stretched her arms out, cracking her knuckles and stretching her back before agreeing, "I was hoping for a little more of a challenge, honestly."


	17. The End

Chapter 17 - The End

Perhaps it was just the paranoia of expecting Loki to pop up everywhere, but when we returned to to the Avengers facility, I felt eyes on me everywhere I went. It didn't exactly feel like my spidey sense… more like when the gossips of The Burg were watching me on a take-down gone wrong with their phones out, taking video or calling others to tell them the latest antics of the Bombshell Bounty Hunter of Trenton.

"One would think you did not trust your Royal Guard," Hogun spoke quietly from my right, startling me because I so rarely heard his voice.

I shot an apologetic gaze his way and tried to relax my shoulders and stop darting my head around constantly as we approached the building.

I had ridden back to the facility with the other women (minus Pepper after we dropped her off), and knew that the rest of the Avengers were flying back separately. However while the Warriors Three waited for Sif and I upon our arrival, Thor was conspicuously absent. And it startled me to realize how exposed to the dangers of the world I felt without him there. How had I become so reliant on his presence so quickly, and what did that say about me?

"Have you forgotten already what the healers told you of your bond?" Sif asked, clearly having some idea of the thoughts going through my head.

Volstagg made a noise of agreement before adding, "The bond still forms, and it is expected to feel adrift with Thor gone so far. He left only because he had to. He will only ever leave if he must. He will return as soon as he is able; however, he could not wait before seeking medical treatment for the All-Father."

I thought I did as good of a job as could be expected of me in not frowning as I nodded my head, and I tried to force my chin up and back straight as I continued on to where the rest of the Avengers waited in the lobby.

No sooner had we stepped inside than Darcy bounced yelling, "CELEBRATION PIZZA! You like pizza, right? Who doesn't like pizza."

Forcing a smile on my face and thinking it might even look genuine I agreed, "pizza is great."

"Perfect!" Darcy did a little dance and said, "I'll order some pizza to celebrate our awesome spy victory today!"

Agreeing to the plan, I said, "I think I'll go grab a quick shower and change into more comfortable clothes first," looking down at the more business-y garb I had put on for the earlier mission. I knew how expensive it was, and I did NOT want to get pizza sauce on it.

Around me everyone else made noises of agreement before they too wandered off to clean up, and in the Avengers case, change out of their uniforms.

When Sif made a move to follow me, I put a hand up to stop her.

"I don't think you need to go with me right now. It's Thor's room, and it's safe, right? And I plan to take a long shower- decompress a little. I just feel… off… with Thor realms away. I'll see you guys right out here in half an hour or so, okay?"

Sif exchanged looks with the Warriors Three, but I was actually surprised when she nodded her head murmuring in agreement.

As I turned toward our door once more, Volstagg called out to me, "It will get easier once the bond is fully formed, and Thor will only leave you when he simply must."

I gave him a small smile then walked through the room to our quarters, shutting the door firmly behind me.

Looking around, I took a moment to soak everything in. I still had a difficult time believing that I would be living here more than not for the foreseeable future. Everything was tasteful, certainly not over-the-top like the palace on Asgard, but each item was definitely several times more expensive than anything of a similar function that I had owned previously.

Before Thor.

Thinking of him, my eyes immediately went to the small table for his hammer, and let out a small sigh at the pang of loneliness I felt because it sat empty- Mjolnir off with its owner on Asgard without me.

That loneliness didn't have time to even settle into the pit of my stomach though before I felt warmth fill the void once more. A smile broke out onto my face once more as I realized the strongest thread of it was coming through my bond with Thor. But in addition I was pretty sure that I was getting at least a little something from most, if not all, of my platonic soulmates as well.

Platonic bonds were highly variable in their intensity and how they manifested themselves. But given how intense my bond with Thor was growing and the way my spidey-sense had always made me feel more aware of people than Ranger assured me was normal, well, I couldn't say that I was overly surprised that I could at least FEEL the platonic bonds as well. I wasn't sure how we'll I'd ever be able to communicate anything more than emotions and basic impressions to any of them, but for the time being this was enough.

I wasn't alone, and knowing that, I undressed and got in the shower, focusing on those platonic bonds and trying to decide who was who.

I couldn't quite tell them all apart, but it was there in the different undertones that gave me hints as to who each might be. There were two that were so similar they were difficult to distinguish between. I was pretty sure those bonds were from Bucky and Steve given the level of pure empathy I could feel radiating within the support they were giving me. And thinking on their histories, I knew each had to have had moments of absolutely profound loneliness in their lives.

Deciding to move away from the darker thoughts for a moment, I focused on one thread that just HAD to be Darcy. It was a little weird to me knowing that she was in a triad with both Bucky and Steve because while those two gave me an impression of being different and yet so similar to each other that they kind of melded together, Darcy stood out on her own. Just like the others I could feel her trying to help me through missing Thor but while they were all so much… quieter… that was the only way to describe it. If a thought or an emotion could physically bounce and vibrate, that's what Darcy's were doing through the soulbond.

Sif too was easy to distinguish. I wasn't sure if it was because she was Asgardian, because I had spent more time with her, or perhaps because our platonic match meant to be deeper. I thought if ever I was to be able to communicate clearly through a platonic bond, it would be hers. Perhaps it was the millenia she had spent already platonically bonded with Thor and the Warriors Three that made her a more experienced bondmate. Whatever the reason, she felt a more firm presence in my mind in a way that said, through feelings more than actual words, "I know you feel unsafe with Thor gone, but I will keep you safe."

I felt the fuzziest from the connections that I thought were Natasha and Sam, and resolved to spend more time with them to see if their connections. Though the feeling I got from the one I was labeling Natasha until proven otherwise was oddly… probing. Almost less like she was trying to assist me or comfort me (though her rock solid calmness was doing that anyway) or communicate with me in any way. It was more like she felt my loneliness and was curious what it was- poking at it like a small child.

And Sam was, surprisingly given how openly friendly and energetic he seemed, almost every bit as calm and quiet as Natasha. But from Sam it seemed almost like he was waiting, arms open for a hug, telling me that everything would be okay and he was there for me if I needed him. I thought I had heard that Sam had some sort of experience with counseling, so I supposed that made sense.

Having, I thought, properly identified and labeled my platonic bonds, and feeling my mood much improved from the process, I came back to myself. I had been so inwardly focused that I was unsure how much time had passed or even if I had already washed my hair or not.

Determined not to let anyone worry about me because I took too long, and fearful that at some point our door would get broken down if the others wanted to make sure I was okay, I rushed through my shower routine just to make sure I was clean and stepped out. The bathroom was the exact right temperature, which made me smile as I quickly pulled my hair up into a ponytail.

Once in the bedroom again, I quickly pulled on some jeans and a shirt. After a brief pause remembering that I had told Thor I would stay armed at all times on Midgard, especially when I was away from him, I grabbed a gun Bucky had given me, checked it over for safety, then slid it into an ankle holster and strapped that on before adding a pair of boots that made the setup.

When I walked out into the living room, I was surprised to see Darcy sitting alone on the couch.

"Great!" she popped up, putting what I assumed was her phone away in her pocket as she did so, and continued, "the food is here! Come help me with it?"

"Oh sure," I readily agreed, glad I had a pair of shoes on already. I didn't have a jacket, but I figured it would likely be a quick trip to the door and we'd hardly be outside so it didn't matter.

Darcy was characteristically chattering on as we walked through the compound, but I only half listened as I watched our surroundings. I usually didn't pay enough attention on our way in and out, and I wanted to make sure I knew where our quarters were in the big complex. I didn't want to look totally out of place and get lost, plus we were walking through more of the buildings than we had before.

That gave me a moment of pause until I remembered that we'd always come and gone from a side entrance closer to where the Avengers themselves lived. Presumably a delivery person would be unable to come in that way. The pizza was just probably out the front.

Sure enough, we started walking across what could only be described as a front lobby, though I wasn't sure who really used it since it wasn't like the place was open to the public. When we reached the doors, Darcy rushed forward and opened it, holding it for me and saying, "are you going to be warm enough? We just have to go out to the gate."

It seemed a little odd to me that with all the additional security and staff I'd noticed as we walked through, they didn't have some sort of better system in place, but I figured Darcy knew what she was doing so instead of questioning, I just said, "I'm sure it'll just be a few minutes right? I'll be fine."

Darcy agreed, apologized again, and just picked up the pace so we'd be back inside faster. When we approached the gate, Darcy dashed ahead again and opened it. As I approached, I clued into my platonic bonds once more and realized I was feeling things like worry, confusion, and the beginnings of panic.

With wide eyes I looked at Darcy and said, "woah. Do you feel that? I think we need to go back!"

A frown I hadn't seen her use before crossed her face but she shook her head quickly and said, "okay! This will only take a second, and then we can check back in!" and gestured me through.

I turned once more as I started to walk through the gate, and we were far enough out that I could just barely make out shapes through a window I thought might be the Avenger's common room. Volstagg's large form was almost unmistakable, so I knew I was right about where I was looking. Then I had a moment of confusion as I saw another that I could have sworn was Darcy. Small, though Natasha was too. But there was something about the way Natasha stood that always made her seemed taller, and the shadow lacked that fierceness.

Like Darcy. But I was with Darcy, so that couldn't be right.

Uneasy, I turned to look for the delivery car, and I had a bad feeling when I didn't see one.

I glanced back over at where Darcy was shutting the gate, thinking I needed to stop her so we could get back inside the walls of the compound more quickly.

Only that bad feeling turned into a pit of dread in my stomach when I caught a glimpse of her forearm and realized that my grey soulmark wasn't where it should have been.

"HEIM-" I started to call out for the gatekeeper of Asgard only to be cut off as everything went dark.

When I came to, I was annoyed. My initial thought was that I had been sleeping peacefully, and a bright light had woken me up, so I was annoyed by the light. But then I remembered what had happened, and I turned my ire to Loki. Because I was sure it was Loki who had taken me.

With that thought in mind, I opened my eyes to see Thor and Loki battling, hammer clashing with what I recognized as Odin's staff in flashes of bright white light. I could make out indistinct yells, but I had no idea what they were saying to each other.

Looking around, I noticed that I was in some sort of woods, and thought perhaps it was the Pine Barrens once more. I really hated the place.

In the distance I saw another flash of light only instead of white it was a rainbow of colors, and I knew it was the bifrost. Thor must have already come through it, and Sif and the Warriors Three were already on Midgard, so I wondered who it could be.

The thought barely had time to cross my mind before a figure came thundering up on a horse.

"ENOUGH!" He shouted, and I realized that this was the real Odin.

I'd already pushed myself up, but on the realization that this legendary god in front of my was Thor's father who I actually hadn't met yet, I straightened all the way up. My stomach rolled, but all I could think was, "get it together, Steph. You will NOT puke in front of Odin!"

Purely by subconscious, I reached up and felt my hair, trying to decide how much of a disaster it was and reflexively pulling the hair tie out so that I could fix it. As I did so, Sif and the Warriors Three emerged following the same path Odin had blazed, and they circled me as soon as they saw me, shields out. I could have sworn I heard Sif sigh even as her lips twitched in a repressed smile when she noticed what I was doing.

After a few attempts to peek around my guards, I found a gap just barely wide enough for me to see Odin throw out his hand. Neither Thor nor Loki had actually stopped when Odin had yelled. Loki had been moving to counter one of Thor's swings when the staff flew out of his hand and into Odin's. I watched Thor try to pull his swing, but unable to do more than slow it a little as he made contact with Loki.

Loki went flying and landed in a heap with a sickening thump that made me wince. Thor strode forward and laid his hammer on Loki's chest, pinning him down and Odin slid off his horse and approached. His staff was leveled at Loki, and when he muttered something I couldn't hear, Thor seemed to almost balk before nodding and sticking his hand out. I had a moment of panic when Mjolnir flew into it, and I knew that Loki was free.

I settled when I realized Loki didn't make a single move to stand or do anything, he remained lying in defeat. There was yet another flash of light, and when it cleared Loki was no longer in armor and I could see that he was shackled and had a muzzle over his mouth.

I sat back with a sigh of relief and took another deep breath and slowly let it out. Odin was here, and from what Thor had told me previously, he should be able to contain Loki. Especially now that he knew how far Loki would go for power.

"Are you well, Lady Stephanie?" Sif asked in the sudden quiet post-battle.

Clearing my throat I answered, "yes. I don't know what he did to me, but I'm fine."

Suddenly my circle of guards parted and dropped to their knees, hands in a fist going over their hearts. It took everything I had to keep my jaw from physically dropping down as Odin approached with Thor hovering just off to the side behind him. Looking at Thor, I felt renewed enough to stumble to my feet.

I internally winced at how clumsy and lead-footed I felt doing so while Odin just seemed to glide the last few steps.

"You must be Stephanie," his voice strong and powerful, mind obviously clear from whatever Loki and the staff at the mental hospital had done from him.

"My lord," I stammered, stumbling a little as I attempted the curtsy I only barely remembered from performing once before in my life when I had met Odin the first time. Or Loki, I guessed. Figured I'd be all graceful that night and it wouldn't even count because it wasn't actually Odin Odin!

A pair of large laughs- one from Odin and one from Thor- echoed through the forest and I paled when I realized I had said that out loud.

"I mean…" I trailed off unable to even begin to understand how to dig myself out of that verbal hole and realizing at the same time that I was still in an awkward half-crouch from my sloppy curtsy.

I felt a tug on the hand Odin had taken and he pulled me to standing, "there is no need for such formality. As I understand you are already mated and wed to my son. You may call me 'Father' if you'd like."

"My dad is a retired postman, and sometimes he drives a taxi, but I think that's mostly to get out and away from my mom and Grandma Mazur," I blurted out. With my free hand, I smacked my forehead with my palm before whimpering, "I don't know why I said that."

There were more chuckles at that, but Odin's eyes seemed surprisingly kind given all I'd heard of him as he said, "I'm sure he's a good man. But you call him 'Dad' and I shall be 'Father,' unless you object. It is how Thor addresses me," he added as an afterthought but one that made it clear Thor and I were on equal footing in his eyes.

I looked wide eyed back at Thor who had a smile on his face that practically screamed, "look at my mate and my father getting along so well!" and when I saw it, I couldn't help but smile as well.

I bowed my head ever so slightly in acknowledgment and said, "Okay. Father." It sounded a little weird to my ears, but I figured that was to be expected and I'd just power through. After all, I could have hundreds of years to get used to it.

I was reasonably sure all those thoughts had stayed in my head as nobody seemed to react in any way.

Odin dropped my hand and stepped aside so that Thor could sweep me up into a kiss then run his hands all over me as though to check for himself that I was okay. Once he was satisfied, he shifted around and knelt with his back to me, gesturing for me to hop on. The other Asgardians seemed baffled by the gesture, and I was struck by a sudden clarity that nobody other than Darcy could have taught him that. I chuckled a little but climbed on for a piggy back ride, giving his neck a little extra squeeze as I snuggled in and breathing his scent in deeply.

When I looked up, I saw that Loki had been unceremoniously thrown over Odin's horse.

"Come now," Odin decreed. "We must return to the bifrost site so that Warriors Three can escort Loki and my steed back to Asgard. The rest of your platonic mates are waiting there, none too happy to be unable to enter this area of the forest due to Loki's spells, and I'm sure they are eager to know that you are unharmed. Then Thor tells me that there is a delicacy called pizza that I must try, and we must discuss all that has happened!"

"Oh, well, we found you…"

"Not that! Thor has already told me tales of the deeds you did and how you helped to find me!" Odin interrupted. "I am referring to your bonding!"

Surely he didn't mean… as if able to tell exactly what I was thinking (or perhaps he could tell by the way I stiffened on his back), Thor rushed to reassured me, "I believe he means the changes your body has undergone and all the healers have said and done-"

He was cut off by Odin saying, "yes! And what is being done to ensure that there are more heirs to the Throne of Asgard!"

I thunked my head onto Thor's back and whined, "we just met!" as Thor, Sif, and the Warriors Three burst out laughing. It seemed parents were all the same no matter what realm you were on.

It was to that laughter that we entered a clearing in the forest and saw the Avengers waiting, armed to the teeth along with Ranger and what seemed like the entire Rangeman staff all standing completely tense and clearly unhappy to be waiting. After a moment of confusion at the laughter, I watched them all notice the imprisoned Loki and their stances softened. Except for Clint whose eyes were focused on Loki, unwavering from him and hands tight on his bow, clearly ready to draw and fire at the slightest provocation.

A curly-haired head popped out of the back of the Avengers Quinjet, and I lifted a hand to wave eagerly at Darcy.

"Yo Steph!" she called out with a smile! "What'd I miss?"

When I didn't answer right away, she walked a few hesitant paces down the ramp and yelled, "is that Loki! They got him? And I thought that was Odin I saw ride by earlier! I like your horse!" she addressed Odin who looked surprisingly amused as she continued, "I don't care if you are THE All-Father, you'd better not have called Steph a cow!"

"She's Thor's mate!" Odin announced. "I would hardly call Thor's mate and the future mother of heirs to the Throne of Asgard a cow!"

I let out a small sigh, and Thor chuckled before turning. I leaned forward so he could whisper just for me, "I thought you were wanting the babes soon?"

Urgently I whispered back in protest, "I am, but he's your FATHER! It's weird to talk about THAT with him!"

I straightened just in time to hear Fandral stage whisper for all to hear, "we witnessed the consummation of their handfasting ourselves! Rest assured it won't be long-"

I groaned and tried to cover my ears and hide my face in Thor's back. He jostled me around so I was wrapped around his front, and as he swung Mjolnir and started to take off presumably to take us back to the Avengers compound, I yelled at Fandral, "YOU PROMISED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN!"

A chorus of laughter was soon drowned out by the woosh of the wind and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the sensation of flying. Hopefully they would be occupied by laughing and logistics long enough that I could get some alone time with Thor before what I was sure would be endless meetings and debriefings began once more.

Because speaking of debriefing, I had a soul bond that definitely needed refreshing some more...

* * *

 **A/N:** So there we go. The story has come to an end. And as much as I always tell myself I do this for fun and under no obligation, and therefore I shouldn't need to apologize, I DO want to say that I'm sorry for how long this took me to finish up and get out to you all. Obviously my life changed a lot, but I think I knew the story was almost over, and I always struggle with how to actually bring the things I write to an end. Plus I've been criticized in the past for how I do so, which added a whole additional level of self-doubt and uncertainty if ending the story here was okay, would do it justice, etc. So hopefully this works for everyone!

ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it took so long! Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me along the way, even when it had been months since you last heard from me. And seriously a HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed/commented. Even if I didn't manage to respond, I want you to know that every positive thought was uplifting and helped me get through to the end. You all rock, and I hope you enjoyed the story.


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